


Forever May Not Be Long Enough

by Kate_Shepard



Series: There's No Place Like Home [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - School, Child Abuse, Consensual Underage Sex, Dirty Talk, Discovery, Feelings, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, Fluff and Angst, High School, Hurt/Comfort, If Sixteen Is Underage, M/M, Mindoir, No Incest, Pre-Canon, Religious Conflict, Smut, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2020-08-10 22:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 53,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20142898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate_Shepard/pseuds/Kate_Shepard
Summary: Commander Jake Shepard wasn't always a leader. As a matter of fact, he wasn't always a Shepard, either. Born on Mindoir, his path to 'hero' was made up of joy and sadness, losing everything and finding it again. The day his biotics manifested in bio class was the beginning of a journey that he was never entirely sure he would survive but also of a love that would shape the rest of his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> CW: Whether this story has underage sexual content is going to be a matter of opinion. There is kissing but no sex until they're sixteen, which is the age of majority in my area and also the canonical age at which Shepard leaves Mindoir. If that's a squicky topic for you, then the latter parts of this story will probably not be for you. Additionally, the two characters are not related and there is no incest in this story; however, there is nonsexual parent/child abuse. The characters' views on religion are not reflective of my own.

Jake leaned forward, toeing the thick bag at his feet as he watched the ball fly toward home. At the plate, Johnny swung. He didn’t wait to see if the bat connected. Johnny-Picard to the team-was a powerhouse. If he’d decided to swing, he’d hit it. The crack rang out across the field as Jake sprinted past the shortstop. A glance in his peripheral showed that one of the infielders had caught the ball and was trying to decide whether to take Johnny out or throw to third. 

His hesitation was enough to allow Jake to round the final corner, his foot slapping against the dusty bag. He wasn’t the strongest pitcher or the most consistent batter—though he was reliable enough—but he was the fastest runner on any team in the district. The track coach had tried to recruit him a handful of times, but running just for the sake of running seemed boring. The other boy apparently decided that getting him out was more important than Johnny because the ball sailed across the diamond. Too late. He threw himself onto his side, dirt and small bits of rock grating against his white pants as he skidded toward the plate. His shoe scraped across it as the ball smacked into the catcher’s mitt. 

“Safe!”

_ Yes! _

Dustin high-fived him as he returned to the dugout, brushing the dirt from his pants. He didn’t mind getting dirty and it was certainly worth it when it got them a point, but this was the only uniform he had and he’d scrounged and saved the credits for it for a month. Mutti would knock him upside the head if it got ruined even if she almost had to use a stepstool to do it since his last growth spurt. 

“Damn, Alphabet, almost thought that one was gonna get you,” Ronnie said, jostling his shoulder when he sat down. 

His last name, like everyone else’s, was on the back of his jersey, but even his friends hadn’t learned to pronounce it yet and Mutti still refused to Anglicize like so many of their neighbors had. He wished she would. Yakov Pryczmatrivet was so much more difficult for most people than Jacob Shepherd, or Shepard like Johnny’s family. Mutti worked with his dad, Thomas, at the Nashan Stellar factory. They looked a little bit alike and Ronnie had asked more than once if he was sure he hadn’t gotten switched at birth and placed with the wrong family. _ If only_… Oh, well. ‘Brother’ wasn’t quite what he wanted to call Johnny Shepard anyway, but he was pretty sure Johnny liked girls though he’d never seen him with one. 

“You should know better than that. Takes more than that to get me out,” he said with a grin.

The game ended with the Felicity Firebirds winning 14-12. If they kept their streak up, they’d be going to the playoffs this year. After performing the requisite post-game fist bumps between teams, Jake slung his bag over his shoulder and began the walk home. 

The ‘downtown’ center of the settlement was made up of two main cross streets lined with buildings. He passed by various businesses, a small hospital, the equestrian tack shop Johnny’s mom owned, the Alliance recruiter’s office, and the colonial affairs office before passing into the residential areas where he and most of his friends lived. Beyond those, fields of purple wheat and dark red corn grew under the pale pink sky. Soybeans spread over the ground, their bright blue pods looking like oases of water in the desert that surrounded the settlement outside its terraformed farmland. A man-made reservoir provided irrigation for the plants and animals they grew and entertainment for families in the hot dry season. 

The small, one-story prefab he called home was dim and empty when he arrived. Mutti must still be at the factory. He jogged down the narrow hallway and dropped his bag by the door, the handle of his bat clanging against the wall, and quickly stripped out of his uniform, tossing the ball cap he wore almost everywhere onto his dresser. He carried the uniform across the narrow hallway to the bathroom, where he stuffed it into the washer with a generous amount of bleach to get rid of the stain from the red dirt of the diamond before clambering into the shower. Another growth spurt and he’d be taller than the shower head. As it was, he had to duck his head to wash out the dirt that had kicked up into his dark hair when he’d slid. 

He grinned, reliving the moment his cleats had scraped across the plate. It was worth the odd jobs he’d picked up to earn the money for his gear when he heard the cheers of his teammates and saw Dustin jump up from the bench to throw his fist in the air. And, he’d managed to give Johnny time to get to third. Their two points had won the game and _ that _felt damn amazing. First time he’d scored one of the winning runs. Too bad it was against one of the smaller schools and few people had come out to see it, though that didn’t really matter at the end of the day. He didn’t play for the crowds. He played for his team. 

He dried off with a threadbare towel and transferred his uniform to the dryer before crossing back to his room. Baseball trophies lined bowed shelves. Pictures of his teammates were scattered haphazardly across the desk, mingling with comic books and dog-eared paperbacks. A poster of the _ Millennium Falcon _ donned the wall next to a picture of the new F-61 Trident. In the corner rested his secret pride and joy, a holo piano he’d saved up for over a period of six months. He’d begged Mutti for lessons, but she’d refused, saying money was too tight to waste on frivolous pursuits. He’d been teaching himself through vids on the extranet on the clunky terminal he used for school. He cast a longing gaze at it as he dressed in loose, faded jeans and a soft t-shirt, but if she was this late, Mutti was going to be in a mood. There’d be hell to pay if she came home to no dinner and the house not cleaned.

He put water in a pot on the stove to boil while he ran a ragged cloth over the countertops, wiping away the eezo dust that Mutti brought home from work on her clothes and the purse she always sat in this spot. He’d never actually been there, but he imagined the stuff must cover _ everything_. The water was boiling by the time he finished sweeping the floors, so he dumped pasta into the pot and started the sauce in a different one. He wasn’t the greatest cook, but it was edible. Most of the time.

When the chores were finished and the food was ready, he spooned his own out into a bowl and sat the rest in the warmer in one for Mutti. There was no telling what time she’d be home, which meant he might get a few minutes with his piano. Homework could come later. She’d bitch if she saw him doing anything else, anyway, as she just assumed he goofed off when she wasn’t here. Which meant that he _ had to _ goof off when she was gone or he’d never get to do it.

He sat down at the desk chair, scooping a large bite of spaghetti into his mouth and turning on the console. He found the next lesson in his queue and activated the holo piano. Long, slender fingers trailed over the keys, picking out notes in time with the vid. He still didn’t entirely understand all of the theory behind it, but memorization had always come easy to him and this was just muscle memory. He wasn’t going to compose. He wasn’t that creative. He just wanted to be able to reproduce what he heard. Besides, it was relaxing, watching his hands move and hearing the music flow.

The front door opened and he scrambled to put the piano away. Moving quickly, he closed out the vid and transferred his homework assignment from his ancient omni-tool to the console screen. By the time his mother reached his doorway, he was bent over the screen with his mouth half-full of food, studiously working. He swallowed and glanced over his shoulder at her, judging her mood. The crease between her eyebrows wasn’t as deep as it had been the day before and the lines around her mouth were almost smooth. He relaxed incrementally. 

“_Dobrey vecher, Mutti_.”* 

“You’re fifteen, Yakov,” she responded in Russian. “Aren’t you a little old to be using that name?” 

He blinked at her in surprise. He’d always called her Mutti. That was his name for her, a mispronunciation of _ Mat* _ when he’d been learning to talk. He told himself he should just be surprised she’d allowed it for this long. “I, uh. Yeah. Sure. _ Mat_. How was work?”

“Long. Is your homework finished?”  
  
“Not yet. I cleaned the house and left food in the warmer for you,” he said. “Had a game after school.” When she didn’t respond, he added, “We won.”

“Waste of time. Should have made you get job. You are old enough to pull your weight here, Yakov. I should not have to do everything while you go play. You are not child anymore.”

He swallowed and gripped the fork tightly enough that he thought he felt the metal bend. She wouldn’t really take baseball away. If she did, she’d have nothing left to threaten him with but his books. And his piano. Out of sight, out of mind, that, he hoped. If only his dad was here… 

He barely remembered the man who’d died in the First Contact War, but what he did remember was the feeling of security he’d had wrapped up in the scent of cherry pipe tobacco and gentle, work-roughened hands. Mutti--_Mat_\--rarely talked about him and only when she was drinking or very tired. 

His mother left the room without another word and Jake sank back in his chair, pushing his bowl away. She’d bitch at him for wasting food, but he’d lost his appetite. He turned his attention back to his homework, scowling at the bio assignment his lab partner was supposed to be helping him with. Science wasn’t his forte. He was better with math and psychology, puzzles he could take apart and put back together. Unfortunately, Cindy wasn’t any better at it than he was and her dad was sick, so he’d volunteered to do his part and hers. She’d done it for him on their last project when a…’fall’ while fixing the roof...had landed him in the hospital for three days. He didn’t mind. 

* * *

The following day found him in his Earth History class with a splitting headache and pressure behind his teeth. Which sucked, because Earth History was one of his favorite classes. It fascinated him that he was part of the first generation of kids to be born on a colony world, that his race had begun on an entirely different planet and spent all of its history there, only expanding outward into the stars within the last two decades. He imagined that there were people on Earth who were as curious about his life as he was about theirs. 

Unlike many of his peers, he liked Mindoir, liked Felicity. While some kids found the slow pace of life here boring and couldn’t wait to get off-world, he thought the megapolises of Earth sounded frantic and uncomfortable. The idea of having so many people stacked on top of him made him claustrophobic. He loved that he could go for a run and be surrounded by open space before he grew winded. He thought the neon lights that outlined Earth’s continents even from orbit would give him a headache and couldn’t imagine being unable to go out at night and look up at the stars. 

That said, while he didn’t think he would want to live there, he still wanted to go. He wanted to see the birthplace of his species, to walk among construction that wasn’t prefabricated and still relatively new, to touch things that had been touched by people hundreds of years ago. And then he wanted to come home where there were still things to discover, puzzles to piece together, a history of their own to create. 

He couldn’t focus on the lesson today, something about yet another war humanity had fought amongst itself. He generally paid close attention to those because if it would happen between countries over sometimes minor differences, what was to say it wouldn’t eventually happen between Earth and its colonies? He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingertips and grinned despite himself when Martin made a comment about Mr. Norrington’s toupee.

“Didja see what it looked like today? He glued it on too far forward. Anymore and it would look like it was chewing on his eyebrows. I think he tried to comb it, too, to try to make it look more natural, and it just looks like something my cat horked up.”

The pressure behind his eyes was worse by the time he made his way to Biology. The clang of lockers and din of animated voices echoing down the hallway usually rejuvenated him, but today, every noise just made the pounding in his head more insistent. It didn’t help that he had a knot at the back of his head from Mat smacking him with the book he’d been reading at the breakfast table this morning when she found a slice of burned toast in the trash. All in all, it was turning into a shit day. A few more hours and he could go home and curl up in bed with a comic book until Mat got home from work. He responded to his friends when they called out to him, but didn’t stop to hang out like he normally did.

Half the students had already arrived when he reached the bio classroom. He passed Johnny Shepard’s desk, momentarily forgetting his discomfort as he tapped it to get the other boy to look up at him. He’d known Johnny his whole life, played baseball with him for the past two years, had even gone to dinner at his house a few times. Jake liked his family, enjoyed the camaraderie Johnny had with his older brother, William, and big sister Maxine, and envied him the relationship he had with his parents. Their father Thomas didn’t talk much, but something about him made Jake think of his own dad and Hannah was everything he wished Mat would be. 

They’d been friends for what seemed like forever. Lately, though, he’d been noticing just how clear his gray-green eyes were, the angles forming in what would surely become a chiseled jaw, and the shy way the corner of his mouth would turn up when Jake managed to say something to amuse him. 

Johnny looked up, the corners of his mouth tipping up and those brilliant gray-green eyes sparkling at him in the glare of the classroom lights. His own eyes were gray, too, but Jake’s were the color of slush, silvery and too pale for his perpetually-tanned face. He thought they just looked weird, like all the color that was supposed to be there had drained out. 

Johnny’s, though, were fascinating. Depending on the lighting and what he wore, they could be silver or green or blue. Today, they had a hint of blue-green like the pictures of lagoons he’d seen in Earth history. Jake’s stomach gave a flip and he couldn’t stop the slow grin that spread across his face. He floated the rest of the way through the room.

Cindy gave him a friendly smile when he slid into their combined desk and activated his terminal, trying not to groan at the lilies in the center of the desk. The floating sensation faded. The last thing he needed on top of whatever he had was to be sneezing. The one plant he was allergic to. Just his luck today, it seemed. He forced a grin back at his lab partner. Wasn’t her fault he felt like death warmed over. Cindy was a nice girl. He was pretty sure she had a crush on him, but he didn’t return it. She was pretty enough, he supposed, and she’d developed to a point where most of the guys would give their left nut for a shot at her, but she was just a friend. 

They’d kissed behind the bleachers a few weeks ago after practice, and she’d let him feel her under her shirt. He’d liked the soft, pillowy satin of her skin, but he liked it in the same way that he liked the way a baseball fit in his hand. What he hadn’t liked, though, was the damp thatch of hair between her legs when he’d gone a step further in his experimentation and chanced a hand down the front of her jeans. She’d been disappointed when she’d run her hand over his tight-fitting ball pants and felt no answering stir. Fortunately, she didn’t seem to have held a grudge. There had been nothing but revulsion at the idea of being inside her. He hadn’t been entirely surprised, but it had been the confirmation he’d been seeking. Yet another secret to keep.

He’d never gone through the girl crazy phase that most of his friends had. While they were drooling over the battered issue of Fornax Ronnie had stolen from his dad, Jake found himself wondering at the appeal. In the meantime, locker rooms were becoming more and more uncomfortable as he found himself having to studiously avoid looking at the other boys after what would have been an embarrassing encounter had he not managed to jerk the shower curtain closed in time. 

Mat would kill him if she knew.

“I got your message,” Cindy whispered. “Thank you for doing that. I really appreciate it, Jake.”

“No problem,” he whispered back, trying to ignore the ice picks digging into his temples. “How’s your dad?”

“Getting better,” she said, a relieved look crossing her face. “They said he can come off bed rest next week.”

“Good,” he said, his nose twitching as he fought a sneeze. Goddamn lilies. He pushed them further from his seat. 

At the front of the room, Mr. Phillips stood up from his desk and the class faded into silence. He was one of the more laid-back teachers they had, but he expected their undivided attention when he lectured. Since he was both interesting and funny, he generally got it. It wasn’t his fault Jake didn’t fully grasp the material. He just couldn’t keep the difference between mitosis and meiosis straight and he couldn’t care less about the different parts of plant cells. Physics? Chemistry? That was interesting. Bio? Not so much. 

Still, he listened to the lecture and tried to pay attention while Mr. Phillips went around the room asking questions. It was hard. His _ skin _ was crawling. Whatever bug he’d come down with, it was coming on like a freight train. He couldn’t tell if the itch in his nose was from allergies or yet another symptom of his illness. He’d go to the nurse after class. Maybe she could figure it out. Mat was going to be pissed if he needed to go to the doctor. 

“Jake, what is one cause of mutations in DNA?” Mr. Phillips asked.

He blinked rapidly, trying to think past the sensory overload. The teacher had fielded him an easy question. He couldn’t drop the ball. Not with everybody watching him. Not with _ Johnny _ looking at him. Johnny was smart. He probably already thought Jake was just another dumb jock. No need to reinforce it by missing something this simple-stupid, but he couldn’t _ think_. His pulse was pounding in his ears and it felt like ants were crawling across his nerve endings. Something _ seethed _ beneath the surface of his skin. Worse, the pressure in his nose was becoming unbearable.

“Ra-ra-radia_ tion_,” he managed, sneezing the last part so hard that his vision blurred. 

Cindy jumped up out of her chair, sending it clattering to the floor, and threw herself back against the desk beside theirs. Others scraped across the floor as his classmates gasped and shouted. He looked around in confusion. What had happened? Why was everyone _ staring _at him? The back of his neck heated with embarrassment. 

Behind him, someone shouted, “Freak!” 

What was their problem? He’d just fucking sneezed! 

“What?” he asked Cindy.

Her hand trembled over her mouth and her hazel eyes were wide with something that looked like fear. Her whisper barely carried over the shouts of his classmates and Mr. Phillips calling them to order. 

“Jake...you’re glowing.”

_ Glowing? _

He looked down and jumped out of his seat at the sight of his body wreathed in blue. “The fuck?” he shouted, swiping at his arms. 

_ Get it off! Get it off! What the hell is wrong with me? _ His heart leapt into his throat, pounding hard enough to almost choke him. His head spun. The pressure behind his eyes had faded somewhat, but the ants had turned to lightning zinging across his nerves. 

“Make it stop! Somebody, make it stop!” 

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. The edges of his vision were fading, dark intermingling with the blue haze. 

Suddenly, hands were on his arms and bright blue-green eyes were peering into his. “Deep breaths, Jake,” Johnny said calmly. “Easy. You’re safe.”

“What’s happening to me?” he gasped, clinging onto Johnny’s elbows like the boy was the last real thing in the world. 

“It’ll stop when you calm down. Ignore those assholes. Eyes on me. Match your breathing to mine.” The boy’s quiet voice was certain. There was no fear or judgment in his eyes. 

Jake focused on them, imagining that he was drowning in them, and the darkness receded. His heart slowed. His breathing evened out. The lightning under and over his skin faded to a dull glow. 

“There you go, now you're getting it,” Johnny encouraged. “Keep breathing.”

“What’s wrong with me?” he whispered.

“Nothing's wrong with you, Jake. You’re biotic.” 

Oh, god. Mat was going to _ kill _him.

[1] “_Dobrey vecher, Mutti_.” -Russian. Good evening, Mom (Note: 'Mutti' is not Russian.)

[2] _Mat_ -(Maht)Mother


	2. Chapter 2

Jake followed Johnny down the deserted hallway and outside to a set of benches where they sat beside each other, close but not touching. He’d gotten the two of them excused for class and Jake imagined Mr. Phillips still had his hands full restoring order. He groaned and buried his face in his hands, feeling heat wash over the back of his neck. His heart thudded painfully, and for once it had little to do with the boy beside him. He had gotten Johnny’s attention, but in the most embarrassing way possible. Humiliation warred with fear as he replayed the scene in his head. 

He knew what biotics were. Sort of. He knew the turian at the store Mrs. Shepard owned had them. And Maxine did. No one else did, as far as he knew. He’d assumed it was some kind of genetic thing, but unless Ronnie’s teasing was right, there was no link between him and the Shepards. The colorless eyes that bored into him when he looked at his mother left no doubt that despite a passing resemblance to the other family, he belonged to her, and he had vague memories of his father. 

So, if it wasn’t genetic, how had he gotten it? And why him and no one else? Didn’t make sense for it to be contagious. Other people would have caught it, too. Still, he wondered...was he _ sick_? Could it have come from exposure to something? Like radiation? But where would he have gotten _ that_? What did they all have in common that no one else did? And did it matter? Clearly, it wouldn’t go away. Otherwise, wouldn’t Maxine get rid of it? Didn’t seem to do her any favors. 

How often was it going to happen and what did it mean? He didn’t know what they did or what effect it would have on his body. Maxine and Rinia seemed ok. They didn’t _ seem _ sick. Some people whispered that they could read minds. That seemed like something out of a comic book. Radioactive spiders and genetic mutations and alien plant spores all seemed both ridiculous and suddenly utterly possible. He’d _ glowed blue _in class. That would have seemed ridiculous an hour ago. 

Was he still going to be allowed to play baseball? Reigan talked shit about Maxine all the time. No way was he going to be okay with having Jake on the team now. He was going to lose all his friends. His escape from home. The only good thing he had and now he was going to lose it. His breath started coming in rapid gasps again as his stomach churned. Heat burned the back of his eyelids and lodged in his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut, the flush leaping from the back of his neck up into his hairline. Great. Just great. Now he was going to fucking _ cry _ in front of Johnny, and wasn’t that just _ perfect_. The cherry on top of a shit sundae. 

“Hey,” the other boy said soothingly. “It’ll be alright. I promise. I know it feels like the end of the world, but it isn’t.”

“Am I sick?” he asked into his hands. 

“No. You’re not sick.” A hand came to rest on his shoulder. “You aren’t telepathic. You can’t create a tornado or go all _ Carrie _ on the school.” 

Jake chuckled despite himself. “But can I create a teleportation vacuum?”

There was a smile in Johnny’s voice when he said, “Not that I know of.”

“Well, what good is it, then?” Jake asked, laughing wetly. 

Johnny chuckled and he was disappointed when the boy’s hand fell away from his shoulder. He pressed his fingertips to his eyes, trying to surreptitiously wipe away the moisture, and leaned back against the bench with his face tilted up to the sun. 

“Thanks. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been there. Passed out, probably. ...People’re gonna be scared of me now, aren’t they?”

“Some people are always going to be assholes, at least according to my dad. Fuck ‘em. I’m not afraid of you. My family won’t be, either, and neither will your real friends. You’ll just...find out who they are. You want to hear a secret?” Johnny asked. Jake nodded. “I’m one, too. Maxine just told me not to let anybody know after she saw how much people picked on her about it.”

“You are?” Jake asked. 

“Yeah. And it’s not contagious, either,” Johnny said. “It comes from exposure to eezo. I guess you must have picked it up from your mom. They try to keep the dust down at the factory, but it’s really hard.” 

“Mat comes home with it all over her,” Jake said. 

Johnny curled his nose. “Dad strips off out in the workshop out back and washes his clothes and showers there before he comes inside. Rinia says all of the asari are biotic because there’s so much eezo on their homeworld but most other races don’t have that much, and the turians are really weird with their people because it’s not common. Dad says that from what he’s been able to find out with humans, that’s how it is with us, too. Most people exposed to it don’t have a reaction at all. Some people get sick. Like cancers and stuff? And then very, very few get biotics. My mom had a stillborn after me, so they quit having kids after that. And Dad got lung cancer, but they cured it. He wears a mask now, but he stopped allowing us to come see him at work once Rinia told him it was dangerous.”

“Mat thinks it’s caused by…” Jake stopped, not wanting the other boy to learn just how crazy his mother was. “Well, not eezo. It’s all over our counters and shit."

“You wanna know how I found out?”

“Sure.” Jake tilted his head closer, ready to listen. 

“So, you know how we have horses, right? And where there’s horses, there’s those little six-legged cowrats whose tails look like snakes. They like to chew the horses’ hooves. We have barn cats, but they don’t get them all. So, one day, Mom had me cleaning saddles and Will feeding the horses. I’d just gotten one of the saddles off the rack when he opened the feed bin and there was this big _ coil _ of what looked like snakes! It scared the shit outta me!” He laughed. “I glowed blue and accidentally threw the saddle so hard, it went right through the wall of the tack room! Had to work for a year to fix it!”

Jake chuckled, shaking his head. “What was it?”

“One of the stupid rats was having babies.” He glanced over at Jake, pale eyes flashing with merriment. “So, at least you don’t get teased for being biotic and afraid of _ cowrats. _”

“And what if I am?” Jake smirked, winking at him. Holy shit, he hadn’t had this much fun just _ talking _ to someone since that time he, Ronnie, and Dustin had stolen Dustin’s dad’s flask and run out into the woods together.

“I don’t have any room to judge, do I? So I won’t razz you _ too _much about it,” he said, winking back.

Jake leaned back against the bench, telling himself to play it cool and not let the other boy see him go all googly-eyed, but _ damn _, he was probably the cutest thing he’d ever seen. He grinned, thankful his neck hadn’t turned red. 

“I mean, I’m not. They’re kinda gross, but they aren’t scary.” He dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper and leaned in again. “Clowns, though. Clowns _ terrify _ me.”

Johnny nodded. “Me, too. And they’re supposed to be for kids!”

Jake nodded. “Fuck that shit. What’re they hiding, anyway? And the _ noses_.” He shuddered. “Can’t even look at them.”

“Yeah.” Johnny looked up at Jake, pale blue-green eyes lingering on his. He seemed to want to say something, but then he looked away. 

Jake’s stomach flipped, his heart thudding in his chest so hard he was sure the other boy could hear it knocking against his ribs. He swallowed, trying to counter the sudden dryness in his mouth. 

His voice was soft when he said, “I...thanks, Picard. For not being a jerk. I mean, everyone else was scared, but not you. You came right up. Made it ok again. That’s...it was...really cool.” He was babbling. 

_ Shut up, Yakov. Cool. You’re supposed to be cool. Jee_zus_! He’s gonna think you’re a total loser. _

“It happens to me and Maxine all the time.” He shrugged, glancing warily at the school building as if expecting the students to burst through and catch them.

“Still think you’re really, ah...great, I guess. Not just for that. You’re...you’re smart. And genuine. You don’t fake it like most of those assholes.” He gestured with his head toward the building. “I mean, most of the time, I figure you probably think I’m just a dork. You didn’t have to come out here with me, but you did. And...I’m rambling. Shutting up now.” He rubbed the back of his neck, certain that his ears were red by now, too.

“I wanted to. And you’re not a dork. I mean, you like Star Wars, so you’re a little bit of a dork, but that’s just because Star Trek’s way better,” Johnny smirked.

“Are you shitting me?” Jake exclaimed. “_That’s_ where your nickname comes from?”

Johnny nodded. “Well, that and because my name’s John Lucas. So, y’know, Jean Luc. _Picard_. I thought it was cool.”

“But Star Trek is for _ nerds_! You’re too much of a jock to be a Trekkie.”

“Is that why they call you Picard?” he asked, his grin almost hurting his face.

Johnny flushed and nodded his head from side to side. “Yeah, part of it. And my name’s John Lucas, which is like Jean-Luc, so my mom actually nicknamed me because she’s wise to it. I like Dr. Who, too.”

“Ugh,” Jake crinkled his nose. “I don’t think we can be friends anymore.”

“I saw you reading _ Song of Ice and Fire _in the dugout last week before practice. The last book, which means you’ve read all the others, too. Who’s the bigger nerd?” He nudged Jake with his elbow. 

“You like Tolkein!” Jake protested. “How am I the nerd? At least Martin didn’t go on for a hundred pages about _ trees_!”

“No, he just wrote a whole novel-length intro about some guy finding the Others and getting his head chopped off,” Johnny countered.

“Ha! You’ve read it, too!” 

“Not the last couple, so no spoilers,” Johnny said shamelessly. 

“You know it was written like two hundred years ago, right? Who asks for ‘no spoilers’ on a classic? Nerds, that’s who. So, who do you go for?” Jake asked.

“Fire and blood, baby,” Johnny said, stretching an arm across the bench with his long legs splayed casually out in front of him. “Let me guess. ‘You know nothing, Jon Snow?’”

Jake smirked. “I’m not sayin’ shit. ‘No spoilers.’”

Johnny rolled his eyes and Jake’s grin widened enough to make his cheeks hurt as his stomach flipped again. He probably looked goofy as shit right now, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Leaning back against the bench again, he slid a sideways glance at Johnny, who reached over and flipped the ball cap from Jake’s head onto his own and tugged the brim down.

Jake bit his lip at the obvious flirtation, the back of his neck heating. How had such a shit day turned so good so fast? Suddenly, he was glad for the flare-up. Who cared what the other kids thought about him? Johnny fucking Shepard liked him. Lightning zinged under his skin and he wasn’t sure at first if it was just exhilaration or...nope. Damn it, he was glowing again. His face burned, but the grin didn’t fade.

“Now you’re just playing with it,” Johnny chuckled, his own grin sparking his eyes.

“Yep. Totally on purpose. Meant to do that,” he laughed. “Now, how do I make it stop?”

Johnny snorted and elbowed him in the ribs. “You tell me, asshole.” He laughed when Jake shoved his shoulder and nudged him again.

“Ow,” he snickered, rubbing his ribcage with a look of mock hurt. He bumped his shoulder against Johnny’s with a smirk. “Just for that, maybe I should take my hat back. I mean, if you’re gonna be an ass and all. Elbowing me and stuff. Calling me names...” He shook his head and winked at him again. 

He leaned away, smirking. “Mine now. I stole it fair and square, Alphabet. Your loss.”

Jake couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled this much. Ronnie and Dustin would be razzing his ass so hard right now if they could see him, but fuck those assholes. Let ‘em. He didn’t care. This was the best day _ ever _. 

“Mmm. My _ gain_, I think.”

Lagoon-blue eyes peered down at him from under the bill. “_Your _ gain?”

Jake’s face blazed, his heart kicking up to a rate he was sure wasn’t healthy. _ Oh, shit_. He’d totally misread the situation. _ You dumbass. You’re a boy. He’s a boy. Of course he didn’t mean _ that. _ What do I do now?! _ He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away, willing the bell to ring or the ground to open up and swallow him or a meteor to fall and hit him right in the head. Anything. 

“I, um. I just meant. Uh. Well….” His voice dropped to a whisper. “You.” 

“Me, huh?” Johnny asked, flipping the hat backwards to look at him, of his mouth curling up in a grin that might have been mocking.

Jake groaned and buried his face in his hands. He’d fucked this all up. Oh, well. He knew now. Might as well go for broke. Complete the utter humiliation that was this day’s theme. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered into his hands. “I didn’t mean to...I mean. I just…” The words poured from him, tumbling over each other as he pushed to get them out before his nerve faltered. “I’ve liked you for awhile now and didn’t think you even realized I existed that way and then this happened and you’ve just you’ve got this _ smile _ and every time I see it and I thought with all this that maybe… I’m an idiot and if you never want to talk to me again, I understand.”

“You mean you like me,” Johnny said.

Jake groaned again, fingers tightening on his hair. His face was on _ fire_. No. That was the fucking biotics again. _ Damn it! _ Oh, well. Wasn’t like this could get any worse. Unless the bell _ did _ ring and everyone came out and saw him. Or Johnny went home and told his brother about it. Will would kick his _ ass _ for coming onto his little brother. For that matter, so would Maxine.

“I _ know_. I’m a boy. You’re a boy. And I shouldn’t have even...I just. I like guys, okay? And now I’ve made things _ completely _awkward and I just...fuck.”

“Hey,” Johnny’s fingers touched his arm, static buzzing between them from their biotics. “It’s alright, Jake.” His voice was warm and reassuring. “It’s good. I do, too. And I like _ you, _ too. Not just as friends,either. Hell, I think you’re the hottest guy in school. I just didn’t think you noticed me like that. I thought you were with Cindy.” 

Johnny’s eyes searched his for a moment before he leaned in and brushed a kiss over his lips, sitting back and watching as if for his reaction. 

Jake’s hands dropped and he gaped at him for a moment, wondering if he’d imagined what had just happened. But he could still feel the warmth of Johnny’s lips against his. He didn’t know if he was going to pass out or leap up off the bench and cheer like he’d just won the Worlds Series. He bit his lip, trying to get his face under control again. 

“Yeah?” he finally said. “Well...I think _ you’re _ the hottest boy in school. And I _ like _like you, too. And…” Taking a chance, he reached out and caught the other boy’s fingers in his. “I don’t wanna just be friends anymore.”

The hand in his tightened, their fingers linking together. His hand was warm and dry, his fingers calloused from holding bats and footballs. “Yeah?” 

Jake swallowed hard again, losing the battle against the goofy grin. “Yeah.” 

He gently squeezed Johnny’s hand and leaned back against the bench again, trying to catch up with the rollercoaster he’d just been on and the high he was now riding. Johnny grinned and ran a thumb over his knuckles, the sensation sending butterflies exploding upwards in his belly.

“Good.”

Jake huffed out a shaky breath and nodded. “Yeah. Shit. You scared me for a minute there. Thought I’d fucked it all up and made you hate me now.”

“Why would I hate you?”

“Well, I mean. I _ thought _ maybe you liked me, too. But I wasn’t sure. And...I’ve never told anyone before. About liking boys, I mean.”

“Oh.” Johnny continued gently stroking his knuckle and shrugged. “I’m out to pretty much everybody, but it’s not like I make a big deal out of it. I’ve dated a couple guys and hooked up with one or two, but nothing major. Jameson makes it part of his identity. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. How you handle it and who you’re out to is up to you.” He looked back over at him. “Are you going to tell your mom?”

Jake’s stomach sank. He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand and ducked his head. Johnny was going to find out. No way he’d be able to keep it from him if they were spending time together. Mat was going to lose her shit. 

He glanced at Johnny again. Too bad. She could lose her shit. He was worth it. 

“I, ah. Mat...my mom...she’s… You can’t say anything about this, okay?”

Johnny nodded. “Alright.” 

He nodded. “She’s...not like your mom. She’s _ really _ religious and she thinks that boys going with boys is ‘an abomination’... _ and _ that biotics are ‘the work of the devil.’ So. She isn’t going to be very happy about any of this and...I just, I’d rather she just not know. Won’t be able to see you if she does. Everybody else, though? I don’t care what they think. I’m not going to act like you’re a dirty secret or something. I mean, if you wanted it quiet, that’s okay. But...I’m not gonna hide from her or anyone else because of what they might think. I care about _ your _ opinion. That’s it.”

“We’ll just hang out at my house, then,”Johnny said. “My mom and dad are pretty cool. They accept people.” He shrugged, leaning closer so that their bare arms touched. “I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

Jake sighed and leaned into Johnny, putting his head on his shoulder and looking up at him with a grin. He reached up and tugged gently at the bill of his cap, which was still on backward and accented the square angularity of the boy’s face. Damn, he _ really _ liked seeing Johnny in his hat. 

“I’d like that. If you want.” He brushed his thumb over the other boy’s knuckles, smile widening. “Don’t worry about my mom.”

The final bell rang and the doors opened on a surge of bodies rushing through the levee they created. They spilled out over the walkways and onto the grass, some running and whooping at their sudden freedom, some meandering slowly, others flowing purposefully toward the road. A tall boy and tomboyish girl broke off from the tide, the sun glinting golden off the boy’s hair. Johnny was the youngest of the three. Maxine was a senior and Will a junior. Will said something and Maxine rolled her eyes, her laugh carrying across the air. 

Jake looked down at their joined hands and then back up at Johnny. Should he let go? He didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his siblings, but what if that made him think Jake was embarrassed to be seen with _ him _ ? Damn, this was more complicated than he’d expected. It shouldn’t be this hard to figure out. They were just _ holding hands _ for fuck’s sake, but he didn’t know what it was like having siblings or what Johnny was comfortable with yet and...shit. What was he supposed to do here?

Johnny gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as his sister and brother approached. 

Maxine’s blue eyes widened a bit when she saw the two of them sitting of them sitting so close, and then a wide smirk spread across her face when she noted their joined hands. She nudged Will and leaned up to whisper something in his ear. Johnny’s brother flashed them a wicked grin. 

“Shit,” Johnny whispered. “Don’t let them get to you.”

Jake’s neck blazed and lightning zinged under his skin yet again. This was getting damn frustrating. He hoped he wasn’t going to fucking _ glow _ every time he felt something from now on. He squeezed back and squared his shoulders despite the thudding in his chest and dryness in his throat. At least they didn’t look pissed or like they were going to feel the need to defend Johnny’s honor or whatever older siblings did when the youngest showed up with a new boyfriend. _ Boyfriend. Holy shit. _ Is that what he was now? His heartbeat tripled.

“Hey, baby bro,” Will’s hazel eyes crinkled with merriment. “Jake.”

“Nice hat,” Maxine flicked a finger at the bill of Jake’s hat. “I thought you left yours at home this morning.”

Johnny rolled his eyes. “Shut up, beyotch.” He flipped it back around, grinning at his sister. “Jake’s biotics flared in class. I was helping him out. Everyone else was acting like he’d suddenly turned into a batarian.”

Maxine shook her head. “Bad luck it happened like that.”

Jake looked between the three siblings and back down at himself, grateful to see that the blue glow was finally starting to fade again. He _ really _ needed to figure out how to make that stop. Or not start at all. Johnny and Maxine didn’t go around fucking glowing every time they got embarrassed. At least, not that he knew of. He swallowed hard, unsure of what to say. 

“I, uh. Hey, guys.” _ Laaaame, asshole. _

Will waved at him. “Not quite what you expected today to be like?”

Jake looked him in the eye and attempted a casual shrug. “Oh, you know. I always glow when I sneeze. Totally normal. Don’t see what all the fuss is about.”

Maxine reached out and patted Jake on the shoulder. “Don't let them get in your head. Did Johnny teach you how to stop it?” 

“Yeah, sorta,” he said, shifting to look at the other boy. “I just...kinda keep forgetting. Is that all you can do to make it stop? Just breathe?”

Johnny cocked his head. “No,” he said, “but we might not be the best people to teach you. I’ll introduce you to Rinia soon.”

Maxine nodded. “I've heard the amps make it easier, but I don't know because I don't have one yet.”

Johnny wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “See? You're not alone.”

“What’s an amp?” Jake asked. 

Something he had to get for his biotics? That would probably cost money and no way was Mat going to do that. She was going to lose her mind on him as it was. She wouldn’t be willing to pay for anything to do with what she saw as akin to demonic possession. He was so screwed.

“A biotic amplifier,” Maxine said. “I think it's supposed to help us control it.” 

Will nudged Johnny. “Did you invite him for dinner?”

Johnny looked at Jake. “Would you like to have dinner with us?”

Jake considered for a moment. It was still early. Mat wouldn’t be home for awhile and he’d just break out his piano at home. The chance to spend more time with Johnny and figure out how to get this stuff under control was more important than that. He couldn’t let her find out about this if he could help it. But he’d need to get home before then or he’d get in trouble for that, too. Some days it felt like he couldn’t win for losing with her. 

He shrugged again. “I could come for a little bit if that’s okay. Need to be home in time to make dinner for Mat and do my chores, though.”

“We can hang out for an hour or two,” Johnny stood, keeping his arm around his shoulders. 

Jake slung his backpack over a shoulder and reached out to straighten the hat, grinning as he gave the bill a tug. “Let’s go, then. I’d rather not have the _ whole _ school see me go X-Men mutant again,” he chuckled.

“Ah, who cares?” Johnny asked with a grin. “We could take all of them and then they wouldn't dare to say anything to us.”

Jake slid an arm around Johnny’s trim waist with a smirk. “Uh huh. Just gotta figure out that teleportation vacuum first.”

“Well, if you had an amp, then maybe you could create something like the mass relays do,” Johnny said. “Don't they use mass effect fields to create passages that space-time changes in or something?”

“I think so,” Jake said. “But what do mass effect fields have to do with biotics?”

Johnny said, “Eezo causes biotics, right? Mass relays and shit use it. There has to be a link, right?”

Jake’s words were slow when he said, “So all those times I cleaned up eezo dust Mat brought home from work...that’s really what caused this? I’m a mutant because she’s _ lazy _ and didn’t clean her shit off and made me do it instead? And then she’s gonna blame _ me _ for it and get mad at _ me _ when...ugh!” 

Jake threw his hands up in frustration. His whole life, ruined, because Mat was too busy coming home and diving into a bottle of vodka to wipe her stuff off when she left work or clean up after herself. She _ never _ cleaned _ anything_. Jake had to do it all. And now he was going to be the one to catch shit for it and hell, knowing her, he’d probably end up with another ‘accident’ to cover up and... _ Don’t go there, Yakov. _

Maxine cocked an eyebrow at him. “Why would she blame you?”

“You don’t know my mother,” Jake muttered. “She’s...old-fashioned. Only left Earth because my father insisted on coming and she believed that she had to do anything he told her to. It won’t matter to her _ how _ it happened, just that it _ did _and now I’m a freak.”

“You are _ not _ a freak,” Johnny said vehemently. 

“I don't know that I would go _ that _far” Maxine teased. 

Johnny led him up to the house. “C’mon. I bet Mom left snacks for us.”

Jake’s dark mood vanished as quickly as it had come up. He smiled and quickened his step. Mat was a problem for later. Right now, he was going to be happy, damn it. It might have been a bad day and bad shit might have happened, but this was a good thing and he wasn’t going to let his crazy mother ruin it. 

“Sounds good,” he said.

There was a batch of three different kinds of cookies in the kitchen. Maxine divided them out while Johnny and Will got cups from the cabinets and fresh milk from the fridge. Johnny poured a glass for himself and Jake to share. Within minutes, the cookies were gone. 

Maxine disappeared upstairs with Will behind her, asking them to try to keep it to a reasonable level so that she could study. And then they were alone. Jake’s neck flushed and he rubbed at it, giving Johnny a shy smile. 

“Do you want to go up to my room?”

“Sure.” 

“Okay. Upstairs it is, then. Which you already know. Because you’ve been here,” Johnny stammered, a pink blush tingeing his cheeks.

Jake grinned. At least he wasn’t the only one who was nervous. He took Johnny’s hand and threaded their fingers together. “Yep.”

Johnny gave a quick nod. “Alright then.” He took his hand and tugged him through the house, up a set of stairs to a door with a poster of the _Enterprise_ covering the top half. 

“Still say Star Wars is _way _cooler,” Jake said as he opened the door. “Hey! Biotics. It’s like the Force, right? So, that would make me a Jedi, right? Except...wait. No. Jedi are essentially celibate, and no way am I never having sex.” His blush shot to his hairline. “Not that...I mean, I don’t...not with...damn it, I did it again. Shutting up now.”

Johnny snorted, stepping inside. Football pads lay and a helmet lay on the floor in the corner next to his bat bag and cleats. Slim game console drives stuck out from his vid screen and a pair of controllers sat on the desk. Trophies topped his bookshelf.

“I think celibacy would be a little bit of an overreaction,” Johnny teased. 

“I never really got the whole Jedi Code thing, I gotta admit,” he said, still looking around. “Seems kinda silly. No emotion, no passion, no connections to people? How’s that realistic? And yet, the Sith are supposed to be the bad guys for just being regular people with regular reactions to things and made to be horrible for being normal. That’s the one thing I don’t like about it. Sets up a totally unrealistic bar for being a good person, y’know?”

Johnny tossed his backpack on the floor beside his bed and threw himself back on it with his hands stacked behind his head. “You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?”

Jake stuck his tongue out at him but kept going. “And the whole ‘no sex’ thing is just stupid. That means the people actually capable of keeping to the code have no kids, don’t pass those traits down, and yet the bad guys do. At some point, seems like you’ll have a lot of people raised with the ‘bad guy’ mentality and yet the ‘good guys’ are stuck trying to find people to join them. Plus, what fun is that, right?”

Johnny laughed openly at him and patted a spot on the bed beside him. “They’re not celibate though, right? I thought they just weren't allowed to get attached; though how you're supposed to enforce that, I don't know.” 

“That's exactly my point,” Jake said. “I mean, sure, some of them can probably do like Kirk and screw everything, but some of them are going to get attached. And how are they going to know which one they are until it happens?”

“True,” Johnny said as Jake perched beside him. “What about the ones who have kids? Are they supposed to feel nothing for _them_? Or their parents? How is that a good-guy thing? It’s all confusing. And Obi-Wan was stupid. He should have started training Luke when he was a kid. What good did he do him out in the desert?” 

Jake rolled over to face him. “Well, and I read somewhere that Lucas _said_ way back in the day that they were allowed to have sex, but they’re still not allowed to feel passion, so that kinda rules that out, right? I mean, who wants that? As to Obi-Wan, he did that because Yoda told him to. They were worried the Sith would find Luke and Leia and also that they’d repeat the mistakes they made with Anakin.” 

“Yeah, but they should have trained him early on instead of just hoping for the best.” Johnny argued, his grin slowly dying as his eyes locked on Jake's lips. 

Jake’s heart gave a hard thump in his chest. “I...think it’s...” he said, his voice coming out just above a whisper. _God, those eyes…_ “I mean...yeah. Maybe.”

Johnny’s leg shifted and pressed against Jake’s. Jake’s eyes drifted down to his mouth and held there. This was nothing like with Cindy under the bleachers. He hadn’t particularly _wanted_ to kiss her. It had been an experiment and had felt that way. Right now, though, there was nothing more he wanted in the world than to feel Johnny’s lips against his. He took a shaky breath and leaned in, moving slowly enough to let Johnny pull away if he didn’t want to kiss him.

A loud thump on the wall made them both jump and sit upright. Maxine’s warning was muffled, but clear enough, “Dad’s home! Clothes on, kiddos!”

Jake’s eyes widened. Thomas was home. That meant that Mat was done with work and he hadn’t even started dinner. _Oh, shit_. He scrambled to his feet, almost tripping over his own shoes. He was in so much trouble. This was the last thing he needed. 

“I gotta go. I was supposed to make dinner. Mat’s gonna have my ass.” Lightning raced under his skin and his heart sank. “Oh, no,” he groaned. “Not again.”

“Oh shit!” Johnny picked up Jake’s bag and handed it to him. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride.”

“You can drive?” 

“I’ve got a motorcycle. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s faster than running, even for you.” He opened his closet and jerked a helmet down from the shelf, shoving it into Jake’s hands. “Here. Mine’s on the bike.”

“I don’t think Mat would like it…” Jake said, looking down at the helmet. “If she’s already home, I mean.”

“I’ll drop you off at the next street over and then you can say you ran,” he said, grabbing Jake’s hand and scurrying down the stairs. They took them three at a time and breezed past Johnny’s dad with a hurried, “Hi, Mr. Shepard. Bye, Mr. Shepard!” 

Outside, Johnny climbed on the back of a sporty but aging street bike and patted the seat behind him. They tugged their helmets on and Jake slid the straps of his backpack over his shoulders before climbing on. He hesitated for a moment, uncertain of what to do, and then wrapped his arms around Johnny’s waist. The other boy patted his hand and started the bike, leaning forward as they zipped onto the road and down the street. 

Once he got accustomed to the motion, he began to notice the heat of Johnny’s strong back, the taut muscles of his belly, the way his slim hips fit between Jake’s thighs, the grace in his movements as he effortlessly controlled the machine. He’d think about this later, he knew, memorizing everything he could about the other boy down to the spicy, clean scent of him. 

Johnny stopped the bike a block away from Jake’s house and braced it with his feet, turning to look at him with concerned eyes. Jake took the helmet off and passed it to him with a half-grin, looking him over. Fuck it. He could take two seconds. He was screwed anyway. 

“Worth it.” He leaned in and pecked Johnny on the lips before jumping off the bike and racing home. 

He was halfway up the walk when it hit him. He’d kissed Johnny Shepard.


	3. Chapter 3

Mat’s battered car was in the drive when he arrived. His stomach churned as he ran through the door. _ Please don’t glow. Please don’t glow. _ He wanted to keep it from her for as long as he could. She’d muttered enough times about biotics being the work of the devil for him to be able to anticipate her reaction. She would lose her shit when she realized she had one under her roof. 

She was waiting for him at the kitchen table, fingers drumming across its surface. “Where were you?”

He skidded to a stop, forcing himself to breathe the way he had with Johnny. “At the Shepards’ house,” he answered. “Working on a bio project. Johnny’s in my lab group.” Close enough to the truth that Mr. Shepard would probably confirm it if she checked with him. _ When _she checked with him. 

Her mouth tightened and she eyed him suspiciously. He squared his shoulders and met her speculative gaze. Her lip curled, but she simply said, “Fix dinner and finish the rest of your homework. The next time you’re going to be late, text me.”

“_Da, mem_.” 

That was better than he’d expected and at least his biotics hadn’t flared. He was under no illusion that he could keep it secret forever. If strong emotion or a sneeze could set it off, then until he learned to control it the way the Shepard kids did, he was walking a tightrope. When the rumors had started going around about Maxine, she’d been one of the first to start in with the names and insults. Of course, she never said any of it in public. Their dad was her boss, after all. 

In public, she was as supportive as she could be. But when the doors closed and it was just the two of them, she let her vitriol fly, calling her the devil’s child and wondering long and loud why the Shepards kept her around. She claimed she wouldn’t have ‘one of those freaks’ in _ her _ house and mused that she’d lock them in the shed if she couldn’t get rid of them. Hell, maybe getting locked in the shed would be an improvement. At least then she’d likely leave him alone.

He scowled as he wiped away the latest collection of eezo dust from the counter where she’d dropped her purse and dragged a finger through it to look at the stuff. Not like it could make it worse now, right? He’d never been told not to touch it or to be careful around it. As far as he knew, it was no different from metal shavings or sawdust or anything else that could be brought home and tracked into the house.

“Mat,” he asked, trying to sound casual. “Did you ever...were you ever around this stuff before you started working at the shop?”

She looked up from her devotional and eyed him speculatively. “Yes, actually. During the transport here, we stopped on Terra Nova. Another transport crashed nearby. We had to get you tested for cancers when you were born. Some...potential lasting complications from my exposure. Why are you asking about this?”

“Just curious,” he responded, thinking quickly as he began to peel potatoes. “We’re studying mutations in biology and eezo was listed as a mutagenic in some cases.”

“Yes, but why would that make you wonder about my exposure?” she asked, closing the book around her finger.

“It just had me worried. You know, since you work around it. If the effects are cumulative…” 

He didn’t know where he was going with that. He didn’t know enough to formulate an appropriate excuse. He should have just kept his mouth shut. But at least now he knew. This really wasn’t his fault and wasn’t something he could have avoided even if he hadn’t been around the dust since his dad died.

“Ach.” She waved a hand. “You want to worry about me, worry about finding a job and not being lazy around the house all day. Contribute something. You play your games and that silly piano and your baseball and do nothing to make our lives better. You are almost sixteen. You are almost grown. Yet you do nothing. When I was your age, in the old country, everyone worked. Everyone contributed. Even children. We did not coddle. Even here, the farming children work. They help their parents. You are spoiled, treated too kindly because I felt bad for you that your father wasn’t here to love you.” 

Jake winced, but she wasn’t finished. “I never wanted children. You were his desire, not mine. My Godly duty and part of the price to be paid for colonizing new worlds. I didn’t even want to come here. I was happy in Russia, but I submitted to my husband like a good wife. I have stayed here only because I could not afford to leave with you. A few more years and I will be rid of you, and I will go home. You need to learn to survive on your own, to support yourself. I will not be here for you to leech off me like some allow their children to do. I will have done my duty to you. You need to start looking for a good girl to marry, and then you can have children of your own and if you want to spoil the little parasites, it will be your prerogative.”

“_Da, mem_,” he said past the burning lump in his throat, refusing to look at her. 

She didn’t want his commentary anyway. She was already a quarter of the way into her newest bottle of vodka and would rant until she sobered up or went to bed. She was unlikely to even eat tonight, but if he didn’t make something for her, god help him. It would go into the cooler and one of them would take it for lunch tomorrow.

He finished cooking while she continued to ramble, and as he’d expected, she waved it off. He carried his into his room with the muttered excuse that he hadn’t finished his homework yet and sat down in front of his computer. There should be information on the extranet. Even if there wasn’t much information on human biotics, there should be something out there from the aliens if asari and turians had them, too. It couldn’t be _ that _ different, right? 

He typed ‘element zero’ into the search bar and began to read as he ate. There was a wealth of information on its practical uses and a fair amount on cancer rates due to exposure, but very little about the biotic connection. Scientists estimated that one in ten exposures led to the development of biotics, which explained the dearth of them in the settlement. 

Searching specifically for biotics in humans netted him a few scientific studies that he didn’t entirely understand, a lot of speculation, a few sites with horror stories, and some news articles that said a lot without giving much useful information. Searching for biotics in other species finally gave him some of what he was looking for. With an implant and an amp, he could create his own mass effect fields. _ Cool_. Superpowers indeed. He just couldn’t harness them without an amp and no way was Mat going to let him get one, so they didn’t do him much good.

Johnny...holy shit. He’d kissed a boy today. Granted, it wasn’t a _ big _ kiss and he hadn’t really had time to fully enjoy it, but it was a kiss all the same. He leaned back in his chair, a smile playing across his face as he recalled the way Johnny’s lips had felt against his and the pleased surprise in those beautiful eyes. 

What would it be like to kiss him for real? Even that little peck had been more memorable than the full makeout session with Cindy that had just left him cold and a little grossed out. Johnny, though… Johnny was _ perfect_. 

He snuck out of his bedroom to check on Mat. She was sprawled face-down across her bed, still fully clothed. With a sigh that could have been relief or dismay, he plucked the throw blanket from the back of the chair beside her bed and draped it across her after removing her shoes and placing them by the door. He backed out, not bothering to be quiet, and closed the door. She’d sleep like the dead for the rest of the night. And that meant he could bring out his piano. 

He set up the holo piano and flexed his fingers before placing them on the keys. There was an old song that had been among his beginner lessons that had been stuck in his head since the last beaming smile Johnny had given him. _ I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of May. I guess you’ll say, what can make me feel this way? My guy…. _

Finding songs that fit two boys was still difficult despite all the progress humanity had made, but one of the joys of making the music himself was that he could gender-swap the lyrics all he wanted. And boy, did this one fit. Sunshine on a cloudy day. That was Johnny. 

Jake had never so fully realized the difference a single day could make. Where the day before, he couldn’t make it from his locker to class without his name being called by at least three people wanting to hang out with him, today, they stared and whispered as he walked alone. Most of the other students gave him a wide berth, but a few slammed their shoulders into him or attempted to knock him into the wall as they passed him. His size was a benefit to him in that. It took a lot to move him when he didn’t want to be. Someone had carved the word ‘FREAK’ into the front of his locker and he felt his neck burn when he stuffed his PE clothing and tennis shoes into it. 

In math class, the teacher ignored the hand he raised when he knew the answer to a question. In Earth History, the other students slid their desks further from him. Today, when Martin made a witty comment, Jake’s reply was met with blank stares. His feet were dragging by the time he made his way to his Galactic Standard language class. Ronnie ran up to him, nudging his elbow. 

“Hey.”

Jake raised a brow. “Hey. You sure you want to talk to me? I’m persona non grata, or haven’t you heard?”

“So, you glow blue. Who gives a shit?” Ronnie asked. 

“_Everyone_,” Jake answered. 

“You’re not _ that _ important, Alphabet. Give it a couple days and somebody’ll break up or there’ll be a fight in the hallway or someone will get laid and they’ll forget all about it,” he said, shaking his head. Jake relaxed incrementally, his step picking up. “So, can you see through walls now...or girl’s shirts?” Ronnie asked, leering.

The back of Jake’s neck heated. “No,” he answered. “Doesn’t seem to be anything I can do without an amp but be weird.”

“That sucks. What’s the point of superpowers if you can’t use them? All you do is glow? That’s _ lame _.”

“That’s what I said,” he laughed, remembering what Johnny’d said about his real friends. Ronnie, it seemed, was one. Someone called his name and then another’s arm was around his shoulders and a hand was slapping against his chest.

“So, Alphabet. Heard you’ve got a new party trick.” Dustin grinned at him, releasing him to trot backwards in front of them. “Just how _ bright _ are we talking here? Nightlight or can we stick you out on the field for night games?”

“Fuck you, too,” Jake groused, shaking his head with a smile. “You think Reigan’s gonna try to kick me from the team?”

“Already tried,” Ronnie said. “Yesterday at practice. Coach told him not just no, but hell, no. He wasn’t happy, but he’ll deal.”

Relief washed over him. He still had his best friends. He still had baseball. That meant he could handle whatever Mat or the rest of the kids in town threw at him. And maybe, just maybe, after yesterday afternoon, he had a few new friends, too. 

“That’s good,” he said as they walked into the language class together. 

“Reigan’s an ass,” Dustin said, plopping down in his seat and kicking his feet onto the desk. “Just ignore him.” 

Ronnie flipped his chair around and straddled it. “So, do you glow when you...y’know…” He made a jacking motion with his hand and Jake kicked the leg of his chair. 

“I don’t know. None of your goddamn business if I did.”

“You mean you didn’t check? Hell, that’d be the _ first _ thing I did. Bet there’re girls that would go for that…” Ronnie said, bobbing his eyebrows.

“One-track mind, dude. It’s sad, really. Don’t you get tired of being light-headed all the time?” Jake teased.

“Light-headed?” the other boy asked, furrowing his brow.

“Y’know, if you had any blood left in your big head, that wouldn’t have gone right over it,” Jake smirked.

Ronnie was out of his chair and Jake was on the floor, tussling with him, before he could dodge. He laughed and ducked the other boy’s attempt to put him in a headlock, his boot scraping across the floor as he struggled to flip the bigger boy off of him. Ronnie slipped, his elbow banging into Jake’s ribs, and the electrical sensation shot over his nerves again. 

Ronnie leapt up, rubbing his chest, and looked down at him in surprise. Dustin leaned forward, poking his shoulder. “_Coooool _…” 

Jake’s neck flushed and he jerked away.

“Damn, man,” Ronnie said, shaking his head. “Kinda slams into you, doesn’t it?”

“It does?” Jake asked, temporarily distracted from his embarrassment. “What do you mean?” 

Before he could answer, Ms. Barton barked, “Yakov! Get off the floor and control yourself.”

Jake winced, standing up and taking his seat again. He glanced around, relieved to see they were still the only three in the room. “You don’t...you don’t want me to leave, do you?” he asked.

“You aren’t the first biotic student I’ve had, Yakov. If you can’t control the flares, then, yes. You need to leave until you can. Otherwise, sit down and do your work and we won’t have a problem. No more wrestling.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, shooting a glare at Dustin when he snickered. 

The rest of the class was uneventful and he was in better spirits when he reached biology. At least, he was until he got to his desk and found it empty. Cindy was sitting on the other side of the room, studiously avoiding him.

Jake sank into his seat, chewing the inside of his lip. He looked around the classroom, hoping to see Johnny, but the other boy wasn’t there. Those who were whispered among themselves, their eyes cutting over to him. He sank down into his chair, wishing he could vanish into the floor. Who the hell was going to be his lab partner now? Everyone else was already paired up. 

The classroom filled and Mr. Phillips rounded his desk, propping a hip against it. “It seems Yakov is in need of a new lab partner. Can I get a volunteer?”

The silence filled the room, reverberating around it. He slipped further into his chair, cheeks flaming. Of course, no one would volunteer. Changing partners at this point meant figuring out whose existing project was going to get used and scrapping a shit ton of work while playing catch-up. And everyone knew he wasn’t any good at bio. Even so, he’d already been doing Cindy’s part, so maybe he could just work alone. Dustin was good at this kind of thing. He could just get him to help after school. 

A voice cut through the room, making him straighten in his seat. “I got it.” 

Mr. Phillips nodded and a moment later, Johnny's shoulder bumped against his as he sat down beside him. Brilliant green-gray eyes met his and a smile broke across Johnny’s face. Jake grinned at him in return. 

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Just means more time together, and I'm cool with that,” he said. “It'll be alright, Jake.”


	4. Chapter 4

Jake jogged up behind Johnny as students milled through the doors leading outside and threw an arm over his shoulders. “Hey, _ solnishka_.” 

Johnny’s arm wrapped around him and the other boy leaned in to press a kiss to his hair, making his stomach flutter. “Hey, baby. What’s that mean? _ Sol… _”

“_Solnishka_,” Jake repeated with a grin. “Sunshine.”

“Sunshine, huh?” he said with a crooked grin. “Giving me a pet name now?”

“Uh huh,” Jake said cheerfully. “‘Cause you’re sunshiny.”

“Okay, then. I like it_. _” His grin turned wicked. “What do you want to do since we don’t have practice today? You were hot at morning workout, by the way.”

“Hot, huh?” Heat flushed up the back of his neck. He brought his hand up, linking their fingers together. “Just homework and chores. The usual. You?”

“I have to work later. You could _ come _ with me.” He smiled roguishly and bobbed his eyebrows. “If you want.”

Jake laughed at the joke. “You know it. Your mom wouldn’t mind me being there?”

“I don’t think she’ll mind as long as we actually work at least a little bit. I need to clean some of the used saddles we got in on commission. We should get ice cream first, though.”

Johnny had a sweet tooth, Jake noted with a smile. He preferred fruit to really sweet things, but ice cream suddenly sounded perfect. 

“Sure.”

“I’m buying,” he said, leading him down an alley toward the center of town.

“You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to,” Jake said, bringing his arm down to wrap around his waist as they walked. “I’m sure you work hard for your credits. I don’t expect you to spend ‘em on me.”

“I want to,” Johnny said simply. “I _ like _taking care of my boyfriend, babe.”

Jake almost tripped over his own feet, his heart leaping into his chest. He wanted to leap up and crow, but he restrained himself. _ Don’t be an idiot, Jake. Play it cool, dumbass. _

Instead, he tilted his head and nudged Johnny’s. “Boyfriend, huh? I like the sound of that.”

“Good,” he winked. “So do I.”

_ Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit_. He should say something. Or do something. Problem was, there were a million and one things he _ wanted _ to do and very few of them were appropriate for being in the middle of town on a weekday afternoon with people around. Finally, he just tightened his arm around him for a minute and gave the brim of his ballcap that Johnny had stolen off of him after workouts this morning a playful tug. 

“Good,” he said, his voice dry. 

Johnny bumped his hip. “Come on, baby. I’m going to spoil you and that means the biggest banana split they’ll make us.” 

“Only if you help me eat it, _ solnishka_,” Jake chuckled. “Otherwise, I’ll be in a sugar coma for the rest of the day and then what will you do?” 

The other boy laughed, a wicked gleam in his pale eyes. “I’m sure I’ll think of something,” he said. 

Jake’s neck flushed as all _ sorts _ of thoughts rushed through his head, but he smirked and teased quietly enough that it wouldn’t carry, “Think I’d rather be awake for that…”

“Hell yeah,” he said, winking at him. “I expect you to be awake and begging.”

Heat shot up Jake’s face when he caught the words. His stride faltered and his mouth went dry. _ Huh _ . He’d been mostly teasing...kinda teasing...maybe a _ little _ bit teasing...but that response was _ not _ what he’d expected. If they’d been alone somewhere with a closed door...but shit. No. The middle of town was _ not _ the place for the reaction _ that _had caused. 

_ Baseball, Yakov. Think about baseball, right? _

Johnny’s grin widened at the sight of Jake’s blush. He took his hand and whistled the rest of the way to the ice cream parlor where he soberly requested, “A large banana split with extra cream—I mean whipped cream.” He looked down at Jake and asked innocently, “You like nuts, right?” 

Jake snorted and shook his head, tugging at his belt loop. “_You’re _ nuts.”

Johnny grinned again and paid. “You like it.”

The concoction was twice as large as the dish itself, the whipped cream towering precariously over the ice cream and bananas. A cherry slid down one of the slopes like a lazy snowskier. Johnny carried the thing to one of the tables by the window.

“You want the cherry?” Jake asked, sitting across from him and holding out a spoon.

Johnny eyed him up and down before leaning forward with a grin and asking quietly, “Are you offering?”

Jake blinked up at him for a few long seconds, heat burning the back of his neck. Then madness overtook him and he plucked the cherry, keeping his eyes on Johnny while he licked the whipped cream off and dangled it by the stem. 

“Come get it,” he challenged.

Johnny gaped at him for a moment before locking eyes with him and leaning in, his long tongue snaking out to catch the cherry and pull it into his mouth. He leaned back in his chair with a smirk and cocked an eyebrow as he toyed with the stem with his teeth and tongue. 

Jake gaped at him, his pants suddenly almost painfully tight. He was damn glad the table covered his lap. His mouth went dry and he took a bite of ice cream just to get it back to normal. Maybe he wasn’t ready. What if it hurt or he didn’t like it?

Johnny reached for his hand across the table. “Hey,” he said softly. “No pressure, okay, babe?”

“I know. I want to. It’s just…” his voice dropped to a whisper as he admitted, “I’ve never done this before.”

“It’s okay,” Johnny said reassuringly. “Everybody’s different anyway. We’ll figure it out together, alright? If you want to, of course. Mean it. I’m not trying to push you into anything. I’m just as nervous about all this as you.” 

Jake looked up at him. “Bullshit,” he said. “You’re… You’ve….”

“I’ve what, baby?”

“It isn’t a big deal to you. You’ve done it before,” Jake said.

Johnny raised an eyebrow at him, those clear gray-green eyes sparkling. “Like I said, it’s different with everybody. And it’s always a big deal, but even more with you because you’re the first person I’ve really _ liked_.”

Jake bit his lip. “I...messed around with a girl once. Didn’t like it. At all.” His voice dropped even further. “You’re the first boy I’ve kissed. And I really liked it. But I’m a little nervous about the idea of it all,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck before picking his spoon back up and toying with the toppings. At this rate, the ice cream was going to melt, but this was more important. “I mean, I’ve seen porn. I know what goes where. I’m not sure how it’s supposed to be fun.”

“Trust me, it is,” Johnny grinned. “I get it, though. It’s nerve-wracking at first. We can go slow. Like, I really like just kissing you.”

Jake swallowed hard as his heart kicked against his chest like it was trying to get out. He nodded slowly and said, “Me, too.”

“Okay,” Johnny said with a soft grin. “Then don’t stress.”

“Probably shouldn’t do that _ here_, though,” Jake said, glancing around their surroundings with a silent curse. 

Of course they weren’t alone. That would be far too convenient. To distract himself from thoughts that were just going to leave him frustrated and uncomfortable given their location, he drew his spoon out of the whipped cream and gently tapped it against Johnny’s nose with a grin, leaving a puff of white cream behind.

“Hey,” Johnny wiped at the cream with a finger, licking it off with a grin, his eyes locked on Jake. 

As distractions went, _ that _ had totally backfired. Jake suppressed a groan and tried to find a comfortable position in the hard chair, his eyes locked onto Johnny’s mouth. _ Holy fuck. He has _ no idea _ how fucking gorgeous he is. _ He tore his eyes away, focusing on the ice cream like it held the answers to the universe, and took a big bite, thankful for the tightness in his head from the sudden cold.

“_Solnishka_, you are...you’re something,” he muttered. “Something good, but damned if I know what I did to get you around.”

Johnny looked up at him. “Your biotics flared in class and I just couldn’t resist you anymore,” he said.

Jake’s brow furrowed and he chewed the inside of his lip, his spoon hovering over the bowl. “That all it is?” he asked, attempting a casual, careless tone. “Just...biotics?” 

Was that the only thing he liked about him? The thought made him want to curl up under the table. Of _ course _ that was the only thing. What the hell else did he have to offer? 

Johnny pushed the sundae aside, his brow furrowing as he leaned in and started ticking off on his fingers. “Jake. You’re sexy as hell. You’re smarter than you admit, even if you _ do _ think Star Wars is better than Star Trek. You’re nice to people. You’re fun to be around. Your hat fits…” He grinned, winking at him.

Jake let out a relieved sigh and picked his spoon up again. “Well. Yes, that’s certainly important. Wouldn’t work if the hat didn’t fit, now would it? And I’ll convert you over to the dark side yet. We _ do _ have cookies…” He smirked.

“Seriously, baby. I’ve had a crush on you for a long time. It just took me awhile to work up the nerve to let you know. I didn’t know if you liked boys, and I want to mess up our friendship.” Johnny took another bite and looked at his omnitool. “Oh shit! I’m going to be late!”

Jake shoved one last bite of ice cream into his mouth, hooking his backpack over his shoulder, and hopped off the chair. “C’mon. We can make it if we run, right? Race you?”

Johnny grabbed his own bag, darting past Jake with a whoop and a grin. Jake shook his head and followed, leaping sideways to avoid an older couple coming through the door, and whipped past a father carrying a little girl on his shoulders, looking for Johnny. _ There! _ He sped after him, thinking he was probably going to regret this after all that ice cream but unwilling to let him _ completely _ smoke him, and tore down the street until he almost caught up with him. 

“You cheated!” he called ahead with a laugh.

“No, I didn’t!” Johnny lowered his head and sped up, blazing around the corner and almost running into a planter. 

He leapt over it, but it slowed him down and he came to a skidding halt in front of his mom’s store at the same time as Jake tagged him on the back. He took in a couple deep breaths, reaching back to loop a finger through Jake’s belt loop.

“Caught you,” Jake whispered, pressing his lips against the other boy’s neck before pulling away with a grin.

“Yeah, y’did,” Johnny agreed happily. 

They went inside together, and Johnny’s mom looked up at the sound of the door. “There you are. Hey, Jake. How are you doing?”

“He said he’d help me clean tack,” Johnny told her. 

“Hi, Mrs. Shepard,” Jake said politely. “Johnny said you could use someone to help out. Thought I’d give him a hand, if that’s okay with you.” 

She smirked as if she saw right through them, but didn’t argue. “Alright, but try to get some actual work done. Johnny, I just got a new harness in on commission. The leather is green. It’s going to need some serious TLC.”

“Okay, Mom.” Johnny said. “I’ll show him how to take care of it. Come on, babe.”

Jake followed him through the store to the back room past racks of equestrian clothing and aisles laden with everything from hoof picks and rope to large animal medicine. None of that held his interest like the boy in front of him. He bit his lip and grinned, telling himself he really shouldn’t stare at his ass with his mom in the front of the store, still able to see them. He _ did _ have a cute butt, though. Tight and round, it filled out a pair of baseball pants like nobody’s business and football pants like pure sin. Johnny led him back into a storage room, and Jake waited inside the door for him to tell him what they needed to do.

Johnny dropped his bag next to him and motioned for Jake to follow. He headed further into the large room, effortlessly finding his way through heavily laden shelves and stacks of crates too high to see over.. “We keep the commission stuff back here.”

Jake was still staring at his ass when the other boy turned and caught his hand, tugging him close and pushing him back against a metal shelving unit. His heart pounded in his ears and his hand trembled slightly as he brought it up to Johnny’s cheek and gently stroked his thumb over his bottom lip. 

“So,” Johnny whispered. “Still want me to kiss you?”

He licked his lips and said shakily, “Yeah…”

His breath caught and he swallowed hard as Johnny leaned down to brush his lips over Jake’s. They were dry, but warm and soft and absolutely perfect. Jake wrapped his arm around the other boy’s trim waist, pulling him closer, and slid his hand back over the soft, golden-brown hair at the nape of his neck, his thumb tracing the back of his ear. Johnny’s tongue flicked over his lips and Jake’s parted for it, moaning softly as Johnny’s thigh slid between his. Their tongues slid against each other, experimentally at first and then more certainly.

Johnny groaned against his mouth, moving closer until they were flush, his arms tightening around Jake’s waist. His hand slid down to cover Jake’s ass, squeezing gently. Jake gasped, tightening his hold on the other boy as butterflies took flight in his belly and lightning raced over his skin. 

Johnny drew back, soft gray eyes searching his face. “You okay?” he whispered. 

“Yeah. You?” Jake shivered and rested his forehead against Johnny’s, nudging his hat back as he did so. He blinked, trying to catch his breath and steady his spinning head. That was _ nothing _ like kissing Cindy. This was what it was supposed to feel like. Had to be. 

“I’ve got butterflies and my heart’s going double-time,” Johnny whispered. 

“Me, too,” Jake agreed, tightening his hold on Johnny’s waist and bringing his hand back down to his jaw. “That was...perfect.”

“Yeah, it was,” Johnny nodded. He closed his eyes and nuzzled closer, nose trailing along his jaw. “I never thought...I didn’t expect it to be mind-blowing with hookups. But it wasn’t _ that _good with Jameson when we dated, either. He’s a good guy. Don’t get me wrong. But I think maybe we were together because we liked boys and baseball, not because we really liked each other? Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing his cheek against Johnny’s temple and knocking the hat completely off. He ignored it. Wasn’t important right now. “You make me feel like the luckiest guy in the whole galaxy.”

Johnny laughed softly. “Same.” His arms loosened around his waist, but only so he could stroke a hand up the length of his back. He drew back to look down at him. “Want me to kiss you again?”

“Does a bear shit in the woods?” he asked with a grin. 

Johnny’s grin answered his own before he leaned back in, his eyes drifting closed as their lips brushed. He increased the pressure, his hands drifting back down to his ass, the kiss almost desperate. Jake groaned softly and hooked two fingers through Johnny’s belt loop, his pulse rushing in his ears.

He’d forgotten where they were or why they were here. Everything faded but the boy in his arms, the pounding of their hearts, and the growing need burning through him. He needed..._something_. He just didn’t know what. His hips rocked against Johnny’s hands and his thigh, grinding on him with helpless moans. Johnny’s fingers tightened on the muscle, and Jake could feel him hard through his jeans, pressing against his belly.

“Johnny,” he whimpered. 

Johnny’s lips trailed over his jaw and down his neck, his teeth grazing over Jake’s skin, and he couldn’t bite back a loud moan. One of his hands slid off Jake’s ass to his hip and then trailed along his waistband, thumbing at the button on his jeans as if asking permission. Something was building in him that he couldn’t hold back and he clung to him.

“Please…” Jake didn’t know what he was asking for, but he knew that he was going to die if he didn’t get it.

A soft cough interrupted them from off to the side. They jumped away from each other, ears and cheeks flaming. A turian peered at them from between the shelves, a gloved hand cupped in front of her toothy mouth as she coughed again. One of her mandibles flicked out.

“Oh! Hi! Rinia! What’re you doing here?” Johnny asked, clasping his hands in front of his groin.

“I’m working. What are you two doing?”

“Um…” Johnny looked around. “We’re...working, too?”

She crossed her arms over her carapace and looked between the two of them, noting especially the blue haze that was spreading out from Jake’s body. The mandible flicked again. “Riiiight,” she drawled, disbelief clear in her two-toned voice.

Oh, shit. What if she told Mrs. Shepard? And what if Hannah got mad at Johnny? What if she hit him because of it? She didn’t _ seem _ like the type to do that, but nobody would suspect it of Mat, either. He’d die if Johnny got hurt because of him. He stepped between the two of them, his voice shaking. 

“It’s my fault,” he said quickly. “I started it. Don’t—don’t tell Mrs. Shepard. Please. If you do, tell her it was me. Not Johnny. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

Rinia stepped around the shelf and looked down at him. “Where I’m from, you’re both old enough to have completed your required military service and have earned your citizenship. I’d say you’re old enough to do things together without getting in trouble for it. You’re biotic.”

“I, uh. _Da, mem_,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck with a trembling hand. “Just...found out. Sorry. I don’t...I can’t quite make it stop yet.”

“That’s alright. Nobody’s going to send you to a cabal for it.” She made a sound like she was laughing at a joke he didn’t understand and held out a clawed hand. “I can help. I did it for Johnny and Maxine, too. What do you like to do? What brings you peace?”

“I play piano,” he told her. 

“That’s an instrument?” she asked. When he nodded, she said, “Perfect. I want you to imagine your favorite song. Picture each note in your head, hear it, feel the position of your...fingers? On the…?”

“Keys,” Johnny whispered helpfully. 

She nodded. “Right. Feel the way your fingers move on the keys, hear each sound they make.” 

Jake’s brow furrowed in concentration as he pictured what she was describing. Johnny’s hand steadied him, encouraging him. 

“What’s supposed to happen?” he asked.

“Your emotions will calm, which will allow you to regain control of your nervous system, and they will fade. Asari children are taught this from a young age. But turian biotics are rare. I didn’t learn until I was almost your age, when I was sent to the cabal.” She withdrew her hand. “You’re doing well. What’s your name?”

“Yakov Pryczmatrivet,” he murmured, scowling at his hand as the music faded. “But everyone calls me Jake or Alphabet. So...this is kinda like piano. Do it wrong and you just get noise. Don’t do it at all and there’s silence, nothing happens. Do it right, and you get music.” 

He closed his eyes again, his fingertips fluttering along the sides of his thighs as he replicated the notes to his favorite piece. It was complex enough to take focus, but familiar enough that he wouldn’t stumble. He imagined each note floating through the air and combining into song and felt himself begin to relax as his fingers tapped his leg.

“Good, now, let it come to an end. Softer and softer until it fades and there is only quiet,” she said.

Jake did as she asked, softening his fingers on the imaginary keys and letting the notes fade until they whispered through his mind. The sharp zing under his skin faded with it until it was a barely noticeable hum. 

“Is it working?” he whispered without opening his eyes.

“Yep,” Johnny said at the same time Rinia said, “It is. Practice and it will become second nature. Now, time to work.” 

“Alright,” Johnny said, taking Jake’s hand and tugging him back toward the commission stuff.

“Rinia, ma’am?” he said over his shoulder. “Thank you. Really. You probably just saved me from a world of hurt.”

She nodded again. “Any time, Alphabet.” The door to the store closed quietly behind her.

“Babe,” Johnny said. “That was _ amazing_! You’re a natural! It took me forever to get it figured out. I review football plays in my head. Maxine does math.” He leaned down and retrieved his hat.

Jake grinned, looking down at his hands. “Yeah, it was pretty cool. Turians are _ awesome._ You know what this means? Means I won’t always be stuck glowing blue every time I get flustered. Which means maybe, if I can stay calm enough around her, my mom won’t find out. She can’t get mad if she doesn’t know, right?”

“That’s the hope.” Johnny picked up a saddle with a grin and pointed to a bucket filled with tins of soap and sponges. “Time to work, baby. No distracting me with that sexy mouth of yours.”

Jake barked out a laugh and shook his head, emptying the bucket and carrying it over to an industrial sink. “_You _ kissed _ me_.”

The other boy winked. “Yeah, I did.” 


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey, Alphabet.” Chris Reigan’s sly voice came from behind him. 

Jake tried not to let the baseball captain see him tense. The asshole had been muttering shit behind his back for a couple weeks now and was doing his best to make practice miserable in an effort to get him to quit the team since Coach wouldn’t kick him off. 

Thus far, Jake had been able to ignore it and suck it up. Johnny, Dustin, Ronnie, and his other buddies had made it worth it. A quick glance around the locker room told him that they were nowhere in sight now, though, and Reigan was here with two of his cronies. Jake wasn’t an idiot. He knew this game.

“The fuck you want, Reigan?” he asked, stepping slightly out of the shower spray to rub soap over himself. He couldn’t do anything about the fact that he was currently standing here with his dick hanging out, but he could make it more difficult for them to latch onto him. 

“Saw you and your whore boyfriend kissing in the hall today, _ freak_,” Reigan sneered. 

Jake bit back a snarl and forced himself not to react. This was what Reigan did. He poked, trying to get the other person to take the first swing so he could play the fucking victim. Jake wouldn’t give him the satisfaction no matter how much it pissed him off to hear Reigan talk shit about Johnny, for that matter. If it wasn’t three on one and he wasn’t fucking naked, he’d pound the shit out of the guy and damn the consequences. 

As it was, he had to play this smart. He’d been in a couple scraps before. He knew he could fight. But three? That wasn’t going to be easy. If he could get in on Reigan and get him down, the lackeys might run and then he could teach Chris a lesson about running his goddamn mouth about Jake’s boyfriend. Didn’t matter what they said about Jake, but Johnny was off-fucking-limits.

He kept his back to them, listening for movement. Dawson, the shortstop, stepped in close and crooned, “Tell me, Alphabet. Do you pitch or do you catch? You _ have _ made it all the way to home, right?” 

The stocky boy’s hand slapped his ass and Jake ground his teeth together, turning to face him. “Keep your filthy hands off me, Dawson,” he growled.

“C’mon. Thought you liked that kinda thing. Whatcha gonna do about it? You gonna glow? Come on. Glow for me, baby. Bet ya do it when you’re jackin’ each other off, right?” 

Dawson blew him a kiss and it was all Jake could do not to nail him then and there. Reigan. Reigan was the threat here. Without him, Dawson was a pussy. 

Jake stalked forward, smirking when Dawson backed up. “Maybe I will,” he said softly. “How much do you know about biotics? You have any idea what I can do? Maybe I can read your mind, tell exactly what you’re thinking, anticipate your next move. Maybe I can throw you across a room or make your heart stop. You really think glowing blue is all there is to it? There’s a reason the military seeks us out, right?” 

If he had any conscious control over it, he’d start glowing now just to accentuate his point, but he couldn’t start it at will any more than he could stop it yet. 

“Like I said,” Reigan said, grabbing Dawson by the shoulder and pulling him back so he could take his place. “_Freak_. It ain’t natural and you don’t belong on the team. And since Coach won’t kick you off and you’re too dumb to leave on your own, we figured maybe a little lesson would smarten you up. We don’t want freak fuckers like you here.”

“Is that _ really _ all you’ve got?” Jake asked as Reigan held his hand out to a smirking Hughes. Hughes slapped Reigan’s bat into his palm and stepped back, a malicious gleam in his eyes. Jake’s stomach flipped. He was so fucked. “Freak? That’s the best you could come up with?” he continued, refusing to back down. “And you insult _ my _ intelligence.”

Damn it, where were Ronnie and Dustin when he needed them? Already gone, probably. Like everyone else. Jake had been late hitting the showers after Reigan made him put away all the balls, bats, and wash the towels. Design, he realized now. At least Johnny’d had to get to work and wasn’t here to hear this filth.

“What’s wrong, Alphabet?” Reigan crooned. “Did I piss you off talking about your little fag boyfriend? Maybe I’ll pay him a special visit after practice tomorrow. Let Picard get a feel of a real man.” He sneered, cupping himself and giving the bulge a little shake.

“Big mistake, asshole,” Jake growled and now, finally, felt the zing under his skin. “You wanna talk shit about me? Go ahead. But you don’t fuck with Johnny. You touch him and I’ll kill you.” 

Reigan’s eyes narrowed and he swung the bat. Jake blocked it with his hand, trying to ignore the stinging thud that reverberated down to his elbow and threatened to numb his arm. He wrapped a hand around it, shoving it back into the other boy’s chest, pushing him out of the shower stall. Reigan gaped at him, his grip on the bat loosening enough that Jake could throw it across the room. Jake launched himself at him, fists already flying. Reigan went down and Jake slipped, tumbling on top of him. His left elbow hit the tile, the pain singing up his arm giving Reigan enough time to land a few blows of his own. Jake shook it off and slammed his forearm against the other boy’s throat, punching as hard as he could with his right. 

Hughes kicked him in the ribs, knocking the wind out of him, and he flew sideways off of Reigan. Dawson jumped on top of him and Jake blocked as well as he could before bringing his knee up between the boy’s legs. The shortstop rolled off of him with a grunt and Jake lurched for Reigan as the captain tried to stand, bringing him down again. He swept out with a leg, catching Hughes in the ankle, and started swinging on Reigan again. 

“Call him a fag again, motherfucker!” Jake snarled, satisfied to feel a crunch and see hot red blood gush from the boy’s nose. “Say one more fucking word about him and I’ll—” He froze when he felt the smooth wood of Reigan’s bat lodge against his throat. 

Before the others could do anything more, though, they were stopped with a shout. “Hey! What’s going on here?” The bat left Jake’s throat and he looked over to see the soccer coach hauling Dawson away from him. 

“He started it,” Hughes whined, pointing at Jake.

“He broke my nose!” Reigan exclaimed, his voice muffled by the hands he’d clapped over his face. 

“Uh huh. And is there a reason he’s naked while the three of you are still dressed? Looks to me like you boys jumped him in the shower. Pryczmatrivet, get cleaned up and put some clothes on. Reigan, Dawson, Hughes, get out of here. Report to the principal first thing in the morning.”

Jake trudged to the still-running shower to rinse off, eyeing the trio storming out. Reigan grabbed a towel to hold to his nose and shot him a venomous look as he did so. The water hit Jake’s face, the sting calling attention to various scrapes and bruises. He looked himself over, pressing his fingertips against his side with a wince. His skin was starting to discolor and bore the imprints of Hughes’ cleats. That was gonna hurt tomorrow. At least nothing felt like it was broken. Really, no worse than anything he’d gotten at home and given the circumstances, he counted that as acceptable. 

He swiped his tongue over the split in his lip. Explaining that one to Mat would be fun. She’d probably use this as an excuse to renew her demands that he quit the team and find a job. Never mind that he was only fifteen and there were few places that would even hire him till next year. Didn’t matter. She had it stuck in her head and now he had to figure something out that would let him continue to play—no way in hell was that asshole running him off now—_and _ get his homework done _ and _ get his chores _ and _ bring home some money so she’d quit riding his ass about how he never did enough. It wasn’t like she was doing physical labor. She sat at a desk all day and then bitched about _ him_. 

Hell, Jake probably hadn’t just been pissed about what they’d said about Johnny, though that fucking infuriated him. Trying to hide the biotics from Mat was stressful as hell, especially when she was still stuck in her ‘I never wanted you, poor me forced to raise you and feed you, it’s such an inconvenience’ tirade. She was _ such _ a bitch. And yet, she was still his mother and that just made it worse because it wasn’t like he could just shut it off and not care what she said. 

He stepped out from the spray, slapping the control off, and wrapped a towel around his waist. Coach probably had something for the cut on his eyebrow so at least it wouldn’t look _ as _ bad when he got home. He went to his locker, ignoring the stares and whispers from the other boys, and yanked his clothes out to dress. 

He slung his gym bag over his shoulder after getting medigel from the coach, and walked out of the locker room. He stopped outside the door to tug his spare ball cap down to shield his eyes from the late afternoon sun and shake off the last remnants of the fight. Fuck those guys anyway. He wasn’t going to let them scare him off from the one thing that got him out of the house. Reigan was a small-minded dick scared of anything that was different from him, ultimately a total coward. That didn’t make it any less frustrating, especially since he kept getting away with this shit. He’d likely get a slap on the wrist and an ass-chewing from Coach and then everything would go back to the way it had been because Reigan could pitch like nobody’s fucking business. 

It was a seriously low blow for them to go after Johnny, though. He shouldn’t have to get dragged into Jake’s shit. Not like that was going to stop Jake from seeing him or anything. The last few weeks had been some of the most awesome and stressful weeks of his life. Keeping secrets from Mat, making excuses to go over to the Shepards’ place in part because he suspected that Mat would take one look at them and _ know _ and in part because they didn’t have to hide things there while he’d have to pretend at home. Stressful. 

On the other hand, there was Johnny and he more than made up for it. Jake had never imagined that he could fall for someone so hard, so fast. Every day, he tumbled just a little bit deeper. It was just that no one had ever looked at him the way Johnny did. And he was so much _ fun _ to be around. He surprised Jake all the time, kept him on his toes. He was smart and caring and sweet and funny. Cute as hell, too, especially when he got passionate about stuff. The more he opened up, the crazier Jake got about him. _ Even if he is a Trekkie_, he thought with an affectionate smirk. He deserved better than to be talked about that by some jackass whose only redeeming quality was the strength of his throwing arm. 

They hadn’t gone any further than kisses like the ones they’d shared in the stockroom, but he was pretty sure they both wanted to. It was just hard when there was never any privacy anywhere. Someone was almost always home and Maxine seemed to think it was funny when she accidentally (or on purpose; Jake couldn’t quite tell with Johnny’s sister) interrupted them and Mrs. Shepard had ruled that the bedroom door had to stay open at all times. Not that that stopped them when Johnny’s parents weren’t home, but it was still pretty rare that it happened and they were both still so nervous about it that by the time one or the other worked up the nerve to make more of a move, one of his parents would come home or Jake would have to leave to make dinner.

Johnny would notice the cuts and bruises. He’d just tell him it was a scrap over biotics because ultimately, that’s what it was. Reigan and his cronies were small-minded enough to give a shit who did what with whom, but that wasn’t what it was really about. Jameson had been openly dating boys for a year now and aside from snide remarks, they’d never really messed with him. He wouldn’t let anybody hurt Johnny, even second-hand. Better to keep the details to himself. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. A longer one this time since it's been awhile since I updated. ;)

The stadium lights flickered on, illuminating the baseball field in the growing dusk and creating the illusion that there was nothing beyond their hazy glow. Jake tugged the batting helmet over his ball cap and twirled his bat with a wink to Johnny as he walked from the dugout to home plate. 

It was the bottom of the ninth and the Wildcats were up by one. The Firebirds had one out, a runner on second, and now Jake was hoping to at least even the score. Coach had Jess in reserve in case he struck out. He settled into his stance, watching the Wildcats’ pitcher for a signal of what was coming at him. When the girl raised her leg, he choked up on the bat and prepared for a fastball...and it curved just short of the plate. 

“Strike one!”

He rolled his head on his shoulders and tapped the bat against the plate, trying to focus himself. She’d faked him out. Clever little bitch. Really, though, his fault for letting that distract him from her hand. He shook it off, telling himself not to glance over at the dugout again, and waited for the next pitch. Another curve, this one just short of his swing. _ Shit! Get it together, Jakey. Should’ve held on that one _. Reigan on second sneered at him as he went back to the bag.

“Strike two!”

He was gonna strike out. He just knew it. Sure, he’d gotten a few runs in earlier in the game, but this one was the one that mattered. Johnny was watching. If he struck out and then _ Jess _ got it… Well, that _ was _ why Coach held her back. It’d be fine. He just needed to pay attention and think. Jess pulled shit like this when she pitched, too, so what would she do? He closed his eyes for a moment, running over her last few games and then grinned to himself. She’d change it up, thinking he’d be expecting another curve ball. High and fast, this one. He’d put good credits on it.

And he’d have lost them. Low and fast, not high. Fortunately, he was quick enough to adjust and the bat connected with the ball with a satisfying crack. He dropped it in the dirt alongside the helmet as he sprinted for first. Reigan hit third. The ball was still in the outfield. Jake rounded first and barreled toward second. The ball was in the infield, but they were focused on Reigan, who was charging home. Jake’s cleat tapped second base and he slid into third just as the umpire announced Reigan out. As much as he wanted to be happy about that, it meant they didn’t score, so he suppressed his glee. On the field, they pulled for each other whether they liked someone or not. 

Jake stole a moment to look over at Johnny in the dugout. He hadn’t scored the winning run, but he hadn’t struck out, either, and as long as Jess did her thing, they were golden. It was good enough. 

Johnny saw him looking and gave him a thumb’s up before twisting his face up and crossing his eyes with a nod towards Reigan. Jake laughed so hard he almost didn’t hear the crack of Jess’ bat against the ball. His feet were moving before he registered the hit and he looked around for the ball. It was soaring over the field, well within the lines, so he doubled down and raced across home as Jess sprinted for first. Ronnie and Dustin were waiting with their hands up. Jake’s palms slapped against them as he went into the dugout, still grinning.

“So,” Dustin said with a grin. “Wanna tell me why your hat says ‘JS’ on the back and a certain other person’s says ‘JP’?”

“Wait,” Ronnie said, looking between them. “Alphabet’s got a girlfriend? Who is she?” He poked his head out of the dugout and looked into the crowd and then onto the field. “Is it Jess? It’s Jess, isn’t it? She’s hot.”

“And all yours. If she’d have you,” Dustin said with a smirk. “Guess again.” 

Jake groaned and rolled his eyes. Of _ course _ Ronnie assumed it was a girl. Hell, the whole reason he hadn’t told him about Johnny yet was because he didn’t know how he’d react. Dustin, he’d been sure of. He could tell Dustin about anything but the worst stuff with Mat and the other boy wouldn’t bat an eye. Ronnie, on the other hand, wasn’t quite so open-minded. He’d made a couple comments about Jameson and how he didn’t get it, so Jake expected at least some blowback.

“Oh! The blonde chick in the third row? She’s wearing a hat. Is it yours?”

“No,” Jake said tersely. 

“Looking at the wrong crowd, bud,” Dustin said, going to him. He placed his fingertips on Ronnie’s head and moved it so that he was looking at Johnny, who was pretending not to hear.

“Wait,” Ronnie said, going still. “_Picard_? A _ guy _ ?” He turned to face Jake, surprise written across his face. “You like _ boys _ ? _ Why _?”

“You say that like I’ve personally offended you,” Jake said. “Just means a clearer playing field for you, right?”

Ronnie grinned. “Hell, yeah, it does. You looked at yourself, Alphabet? Figured when you decided to finally start looking, the rest of us would be stuck with your cast-offs.” He looked over at Johnny again. “Huh. Okay. I can, uh, I can see it...no. No, I really can’t. Guys just...whatever, man. You do you, right? You’re not, uh, interested in us, right?”

Jake rolled his eyes and grinned. If that was the worst of it, he could handle it. “No, Ronnie. You’re not my type.”

“You saying I’m not pretty?” Ronnie said, placing a hand over his heart and staggering to the bench. “I’m wounded!”

Jake elbowed him and scoffed. “You’re an ass. You know that, right?”

Ronnie flipped him off and then sobered. “So...you told Dustin and not me? Why the hell not? Didja think you couldn’t trust me or something? ‘Cause _ that _ really is kinda shitty. We’ve been friends since second fucking grade.”

Jake rubbed the back of his neck and ducked his head. “Well, you, uh...don’t always seem comfortable with Jameson, so…”

“It’s not _ that _,” Ronnie insisted. “I just don’t get the appeal. Just like I’m assuming you don’t get the appeal of girls for me. So, fuck you very much, asshole. I’m just as good a friend as Dustin.”

“You want me to spend the night and we can paint our toenails and pillow fight and shit to make it up to you?” Jake smirked. 

“Go to hell,” Ronnie said, bumping his shoulder. “Oh, look! Hell, yes! Go, Jess, go!”

They leaped up off the bench and pressed against the chain link covering the front of the dugout, shouting and cheering for Jess as she raced for home with Luke behind her. Dustin clapped him on the back and Ronnie jumped up and down, waving his hat around. 

“We won!” he shouted. “Fina-fuckin-ly! ‘Bout time we got the damn Wildcats!”

Half an hour later, it was full dark outside the ring of lights around the field. Jake came out of the locker room, looking around for Johnny, who’d left a few minutes before. He found him waiting with a friend near the doorway and loped over to them. 

“Hey! There you are,” he said with a bright grin. 

“Hey.” He pointed to his friend over his shoulder. “This is Boone. Like ‘Daniel Boone.’”

The other boy shoved him from behind. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, dickwad. You’re so stupid you don’t even know who Daniel Boone is.” 

That just made Johnny laugh at him over his shoulder at what Jake guessed was an old joke between them. “You’re so stupid, even Mr. Norrington’s toupee thinks you’re dumb.”

“Boone is my first name,” he told Jake and shoved Johnny against him. “And this guy’s a prick.”

Jake reached out to steady Johnny, letting his hand linger on his elbow a second or two too long before letting him go. If Boone didn’t know about them, there was probably a reason, so as much as he’d like to hug Johnny, he just nodded at Boone instead.

“How’s it going?”

Boone shrugged. “You guys gonna smooch or just stand there looking at each other like idiots?”

Johnny grumbled, “Shut up, Boone.”

“What? _ Boyfriends _ don’t kiss now?”

Jake threw an arm around Johnny’s waist and tugged his baseball hat. “Seems like all our friends are at it tonight, eh, _ solnishka _? Like Dustin and Ronnie giggling in the dugout. Sorry about that. You’d think we were in grade school or something. Wanna ditch these assholes and go get pizza?”

“Hey! No one’s ditching anyone if pizza’s involved,” Dustin said from behind him, coming out of the locker room and draping an arm over Jake’s shoulder. Jake scowled and shrugged him off, inching closer to Johnny. “Everybody’s going, so you’re stuck with us anyway.”

“Yeah,” Ronnie said. “Besides, _ we _’ve never hung out with Shepard before. We gotta decide if Picard’s good enough for you, Alphabet. Isn’t that what friends do?”

“Fuck you both,” Jake scoffed. 

_ Jeezus _ , maybe getting all their friends together wasn’t such a great idea. He wouldn’t be surprised if Boone, Ronnie, and Dustin were ganging up on them by the end of the night just to get a rise out of them. Oh, well. He’d seen Ronnie with the coach’s daughter three days ago. That’d shut him up if he needed to. Not that he’d ever _ use _ it, but it made a handy threat. And Dustin would only push so far. The other guy was the unknown, but Johnny could give as good as he got, so he wasn’t particularly worried. Could be fun to get everybody together.

“What do you say?” he asked. “You guys want to go get pizza with us?” 

Johnny looked at Boone, who shrugged. “Why not?”

Johnny’s arm wrapped around his shoulders, squeezing gently. “Ignore him. His greatest talent is sucking at video games and thinking he’s somehow more clever than everyone else when he’s really just a huge twit.”

Jake grinned and said, “Sounds like my kinda buddy. Isn’t that right, Ronnie?”

“Fuck you, too, Alphabet,” Ronnie snorted. “Just because I’m not a nerd like you—”

“No?” Jake said. “Then who made those mass relay clay figurines in your room, hmm? Someone sneak in and do it for you? Oh, or that old-school radio you found and rebuilt? That must’ve been a different nerd.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ronnie said, rolling his eyes. 

“Don’t forget the bookshelf full of C.S. Lewis and Lewis Carroll and all that,” Dustin said. “He doesn’t read those, though.”

“You’re both assholes. ‘Least I don’t have a stack of comic books shoved under my bed like Lucky Number 7 here,” Ronnie muttered.

“No, you’ve just got porn,” Jake shot back, grinning over at Johnny.

Johnny leaned around Jake so he could look at Boone. “Boone has a dog-eared copy of the turian centerfold issue of _ Fornax _—”

“I do not!” he denied, flushing from his collar to his hairline.

“—and the asari one.”

“Screw you.”

“Ronnie’s got quarian porn,” Dustin smirked. “Top that.”

“Hanar,” Jake said. “Or elcor.”

“Who the hell has hanar porn?” Ronnie asked, cocking an eyebrow. Dustin, meanwhile, decided the dirt on the toe of his shoe was utterly fascinating. Ronnie crowed. “Elcor? _ Really _? How did I not know this?”

“Wait,” Jake blinked. “I was just..._ you _ have _ elcor _ porn?!”

Dustin shrugged. “It’s just for laughs,” he muttered.

“Uh _ huh _,” Jake said.

Dustin scowled. “Hey! I didn’t say shit about your little revelations lately. Shut the fuck up.” 

“Sorry,” Jake said, slightly chagrined. “Still. C’mon. _ Elcor? _” 

Dustin shook his head. “I swear to fucking Christ it’s the funniest shit you’ve ever seen. I’ll prove it next time you assholes come over.”

“Thanks, dude. I’ll pass,” Ronnie said.

Jake smirked again. “What? Is it like, ‘With great anticipation: I am coming,’ or something?”

“Yes!” Dustin shouted. “That’s _ exactly _ it! It’s fucking hi- _ lar _ -ious! You _ have to _ see it.”

“Ooookay,” Jake drawled. “And on that note. Pizza. C’mon, babe. I’m starving.”

“I like the sound of that. _ Babe _,” he said, grinning widely.

“Oh my god, you two are disgusting,” Boone said from behind them as they headed into town. “I can feel the diabeetus coming on.”

Johnny looked over his shoulder, pulling Jake closer as they walked. He gave his friend an easy grin. “You could have helped Stefanie with the Morgan’s kids, you know.”

“I hate kids.”

Jake hadn’t expected Johnny to have such a surly best friend. Well, opposites did tend to attract. Just look at Dustin and Ronnie. Boone and Johnny were like night and day. Still, if Johnny liked him, there had to be a reason. Maybe he was just having a bad day. Jake would generally try to make him feel more included, but he didn’t have a clue where to start and besides, he was kinda distracted by the warm body next to his. 

He did kinda wish they’d found a way to ditch the others, but they’d been talking about meeting each other’s friends, so this was as good a time as any. They’d all grown up together, and Felicity was small enough that they knew each other in the way that everyone knew everyone else. They all knew that Jameson’s mom was a doctor, and that Jess had been assigned male at birth but her parents had been cool when she told them she wasn’t, and that Ronnie’s sister had gotten caught under a tractor and died a few years back, but that didn’t mean they actually _ knew _ everybody. 

Johnny’s social circle had overlapped enough with Jake’s for them to be in each other’s orbit, but Ronnie and Dustin had never really paid attention to him before. Jake had seen Boone in the hallways, but the kid kept to himself and didn’t seem to like anyone, so he’d never really paid much attention to him, either. 

Maybe he’d text Mat about crashing at Dustin’s tonight so he wouldn’t have to leave so early. It was Friday night. She wouldn’t be at home anyway. Bingo night at the church with her friends. They’d get tipsy there and then go to Lorna’s house and get the rest of the way drunk while Lorna’s husband and his buddies played poker. Mat complained about the cigars, but she always went anyway. She wouldn’t care if he was home tonight or not as long as he got back in the morning for chores. And Dustin’s mom wouldn’t mind if he stayed over.

The pizza parlor was already crowded with the rest of the team as well as the typical Friday night crush of people. Ronnie ran over and snagged one of the bigger corner booths as a family was leaving and sprawled out on the seat. 

“Rockstar seating!” he called out over the din.

Jameson flipped around and hung over the back of the connecting booth. “It’s about time you arseholes showed up. What were you doing? Taking the long way so you could make googly eyes at Dustin?”

“Fuck off,” Ronnie drawled. “You’re the one who stares at his ass.”

“Do not!” Jameson denied.

“Hey!” Dustin said, shoving Ronnie’s feet off the seat. “It’s a great ass. You wanna stare, I don’t blame you. Just don’t touch and we’ll be good.”

“But it’s so bouncy,” Jameson laughed. 

Dustin shook his butt at Jameson before sliding in beside Ronnie. “Squats, baby. You should try it.” 

“Don’t call me baby, princess,” Jameson said with a wink. “I might get ideas.”

“Oh, my god,” Jake groaned, tugging Johnny into the booth with him. “Ignore them. They’re assholes.”

Johnny laughed and slid into the booth next to him with Boone on the other side. Their legs pressed close enough that he could feel his warmth of his solid thigh. Johnny’s hand dropped under the table to rest on Jake’s knee.

“What’re we gonna get?” Johnny asked nonchalantly, his fingers tracing the seam of Jake’s jeans. “I’ll eat anything.” Jake’s mouth went as dry as the desert sand outside of town, but he didn’t try to move Johnny’s hand. 

“They sell by the slice,” Jake said, “or we can split a whole one if you want. I like everything. Except pineapples. No pineapples on pizza.”

Johnny turned to look at him, mock-shock on his face. “I’m not sure I can be with you if you don’t like pineapple on pizza.” 

Jake shot him a playful grimace. “You know, I can handle you thinking Flash is overrated. I can _ maybe _ handle that you’re a Trekkie _ and _ a Whovian. But liking pineapple on pizza? That just might be too far, _ solnishka _ .” He nudged his shoulder and shivered as Johnny’s hand crept up his thigh. “I _ suppose _ we can get it on your half. But you better keep all that juice and stuff on your side,” he chuckled.

Boone snorted. “Are we still talking about pizza? ‘Cause if you guys are gonna start talking about your juices, Imma bounce.”

“Hey!” Johnny smacked him on the arm, his silver eyes flashing in real irritation. “Cut it out, asshole.”

“Well, I _ was _ talking about pizza,” Jake said, covering Johnny’s questing fingers to stop his hand before it got embarrassing. “But _ some people _ apparently have their minds in the gutter.”

“What’s wrong, Boone?” Dustin smirked. “Jealous nobody’s _ juice _ is getting on your _ pizza_?”

Jake kicked him under the table. “Dude. Don’t be an ass.” 

He was certain Dustin picked up on the humor he was trying to keep contained. That _ was _pretty good. But alienating Johnny’s friend the first time they met him wasn’t going to do anybody any favors, especially not Johnny.

“Y’know,” Ronnie said, “Jess is single. And Jameson at the moment. I’m sure we could fix that problem.”

“Told ya,” Jake said to Johnny. “Assholes. _ Anyway_. Everything pizza with pineapples on your half?”

Johnny shook his head. “Pineapple only goes with ham. Plain old everything sans pineapple is fine.” He looked over at Jake’s friends. “What’re you guys having?”

“Pineapple,” Ronnie chortled. 

“Don’t think you-know-who would like that as a nickname if she knew where it came from,” Jake said with a grin.

“Who?” Dustin asked. “Seriously? You didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t tell _ him_, either. He just pokes his nose in where it doesn’t belong,” Ronnie said, kicking Jake’s shoe. “Shut up,” he hissed.

“_Who_?” Dustin asked.

“Nobody. What kinda pizza you want?” Jake said.

“Pepperoni. Like you even have to ask. Fine. I’ll get it out of one of you later.” Dustin said.

“Good luck,” Jake said. He turned to Johnny before Dustin could badger him further. “I propose a compromise on the pineapple issue. What do you think about ham and mushrooms?”

Johnny shrugged and leaned against Jake’s side. Their hands were still twined together on Jake’s thigh, but they slid up another inch, his pinkie drawing along his inseam again, close enough to make him hiss in a breath.

“Ham and mushroom it is,” Johnny grinned at him, his smile saying he knew exactly what he was doing. 

Jake shook his head and slid an arm around his waist, tucking closer against his side. His nose brushed against Johnny’s ear as he whispered, “See how well we compromise? We can figure out something as big as _ pineapples and pizza_, we can handle anything. But that hand of yours is going to get one of us in trouble.” 

“What’s wrong, Jakey-baby?” he murmured too low for anyone else to hear. “Pants a little tight?”

“You know they are,” Jake said, shifting and trying to tug at them to make more room. 

Johnny laughed quietly and momentarily, at least, stopped teasing. He slid his leg closer to Johnny’s and trailed his fingers up his arm, playing with the hem of his t-shirt.

“Mushrooms on pizza are gross,” Boone said. “Next, you’re going to try to tell me again how Bucky Barnes is a better sidekick than Chewbacca.”

“He is!” Johnny said.

“Bullshit,” Boone snorted.

“I gotta agree with your buddy here, babe,” Jake said. 

He received a barely perceptible nod for that as Boone narrowed his eyes. “Marvel or DC?”

Jake snorted, rolling his eyes. “Marvel, hands down.”

“Mario Brothers…” he held up a finger “...or Zelda?”

“That’s like comparing apples and oranges,” Jake said. “Zelda’s got better graphics overall, a storyline, _ and _ you can ride a horse. Which, at the time, was pretty high-tech. Mario versus, say, Pacman would be a better comparison.”

Boone nodded. “You’re okay. Johnny can date you.”

Johnny sighed heavily and shook his head. “Oh my _ fucking _god, Moooom.”

“Alphabet!” Ronnie exclaimed. “I don’t ever want to hear you call _ me _ a nerd again. I’m kinda ashamed of you.”

“Fuck off,” Jake huffed. 

“Our turn,” Dustin said as Ronnie tapped their pizza order into the kiosk. “Shepard. Favorite sport? Aside from baseball, of course.”

“Guys,” Jake groaned. “No. We’re not doing this. Leave him alone.”

“Oh, yeah, we are,” Ronnie said, turning to face them again. “C’mon. Picard wants to hang with us, he’s gotta be able to deal with the Dustin Inquisition.”

Johnny grinned at the challenge. “It’s fine. I have two older siblings. I can handle it.” He turned back to Dustin. “American football is actually my favorite sport. Baseball’s second.”

“Soccer or rugby?” Dustin asked.

Johnny considered for a moment, his fingers sliding up Jake’s thigh again. “Rugby. It’s the badass version of soccer.”

“Good answer,” Jake whispered. “He’s also on the rugby team.”

Ronnie leaned forward. “So, does he glow blue when he—ow!”

“Shut. Up.” Jake scowled at him. “None of your business, Ron.”

“_Fine_,” Ronnie groaned. 

“Babe Ruth or Hank Aaron?” Dustin asked.

“Willie Mays,” he shot back.

Dustin narrowed his eyes for a moment before nodding. “Disagree, but good answer. Nobody tops Babe Ruth. Points for thinking outside the box, though. Last one. If you woke up tomorrow and you had a tail, what would you do?”

Jake smacked his face with his palm and groaned. “Not the _ tail _ question. Dude. There is no way to get that one right.”

“That’s the point,” Dustin said. “You learn a lot about a person that way.”

Boone snorted a laugh and leaned his head on his fist. “Yeah, Johnny. I wanna hear this. What would you do?”

Johnny crossed his arms over his chest and thought a moment. “What kind of tail? Like an iguana? I’d bitch-slap Boone with it. Or a cat tail? Probably end up constantly spinning around in circles trying to figure out what was following me. Or a horse tail? I’d spend all my time brushing it because, I mean, those things get matted fast if you don’t take care of them.”

That sealed it. Jake was fucking crazy about him. His stomach hurt from laughing and tears of mirth wet his eyes. He wiped them on Johnny’s shoulder and snuck a kiss through the fabric. 

“You are the absolute best, _ solnishka_.”

Dustin grinned and sat back with a definitive nod. “I like him. You can date him, Alphabet.”

“And what, pray tell, did you learn?” Jake asked, rolling his eyes as he continued chuckling.

“He’s happy, friendly, confident, creative, and funny as shit,” Dustin said. “Like I said. I like him.”

Johnny looked at Jake and leaned close to whisper, “Your friends are very strange. But I like ‘em.” 

He nipped his ear and straightened. Jake’s neck flushed. His arm tightened around Johnny’s waist as his stomach flipped. 

Ronnie snickered. “You two need to get a room already.”

Jake flipped him off before tugging at Johnny’s cap. “Glad you came, baby,” he said quietly.

“Yeah,” he flashed an evil grin and pulled his cap off, using it as a barrier between them and the rest of the table. His lips met Jake’s in a quick kiss, ignoring the boys’ groans and catcalls.

Jake stared at Johnny in stunned silence for a moment before pulling his own hat off and kissing him back just as fast. He twirled his cap in his fingers before tugging it back onto his head and sitting back against the booth with a wide grin. He wondered if he’d ever stop being surprised by shit like that and hoped he never did. Johnny kept him on his toes, that was for sure. He pulled Johnny back in to his side and squeezed his hip.

“I’m hungry.”

“Well, lucky for you, I’m pretty sure those are ours,” Jake said, nodding at the pair coming toward them laden with trays of steaming pizza. He looked over at Dustin as they got the food settled. “Think I could crash at your place tonight?”

“Sure. Ronnie’s already asked and Mom said it’s fine.” Dustin looked between Johnny and Boone. “You guys can come over, too, for a little while if you want. Or stay. Or whatever. We’ve got room and my parents don’t care if I have friends over.”

Johnny and Boone shared a look. Boone said, “I need to get home after this, but you go ahead.”

Johnny grabbed a piece of pizza, “Mom will want to know if your parents will be there.”

“Yeah,” Dustin said. “Mom and Dad’ll both be home. Your mom can call mine if she wants. Ronnie’s mom did and Alphabet’s calls every damn time to make sure he’s actually there. Your mom is nuts, dude. Did you warn him about her?”

Jake shook his head and got his own slice. “Don’t get me started. At least your mom’s cool and will cover for us when we go somewhere.”

“She’s alright,” Dustin said with a shrug. “Seriously, Johnny, Mama Alphabet seems sweet and all, but she called my house _ ten times _one night and she makes him speak Russian so she knows it’s him. So, just be prepared. She’s cuckoo.”

“Enough,” Jake said. “He isn’t gonna have to deal with her. It’s fine. She’s just...old-fashioned.”

“Old-fashioned isn’t necessarily bad,” Johnny said. “My parents can be, too, I guess. But they don’t hover.” 

“Do you want to stay the night?” Jake asked quietly. “If not, that’s fine. No pressure. But you can. If you want.”

“Sure,” Johnny said easily, his hand returning to Jake’s thigh. 

Jake sucked in a breath, struck by a sudden visual of his head falling back against the booth and Johnny jacking him off under the table. He gripped his hip tightly, giving it a warning squeeze when Johnny’s pinkie slid up over him through his pants. It was all he could do to keep from bucking his hips and moaning aloud. 

“I think I’d enjoy a sleepover,” Johnny said, seemingly unaffected, but moved his hand down to Jake’s knee. “I haven’t been to one in awhile.” 

“I’d like that,” Jake said inanely, hoping it was the right response as he fought to get himself back under control without his friends noticing.

“...they’ll notice if we steal another slice?” Dustin whispered to Ronnie, reaching out a hand. Jake slapped it away and glared at him.

“Oh, look,” Ronnie said. “They _ can _ hear us. What’re you two lovebirds over there whispering about? And are you done yet? We’re waiting on you.”

“Shut up, assholes,” Jake grumbled. “You done, babe, or are you still hungry? They can go ahead if you aren’t finished yet.”

Johnny shook his head. “I’m done. They can have it if they want.” He looked over at Boone, “You good?”

Boone tipped his empty plate at Johnny. “Yep.”

“Yeah. Okay. We can go, I guess?”

“Let’s go, then,” Dustin said. “I don’t live far. We can walk.”

Johnny tapped his credit chit against the kiosk while Boone slid out of the booth and then tugged Jake out with him. “Alright. Think we’re ready.” 

Dustin’s house was only a few blocks from the center of town. Dustin and Ronnie walked ahead, jostling each other and laughing as Dustin attempted to figure out who Ronnie’s latest love interest was. Jake strolled casually behind them, glad to simply have Johnny here with his friends and be out of his house for something other than school or practice. Jake hooked his fingers in the sleeve of Johnny’s shirt again, his knuckles brushing over his skin.

Warm night air whispered past them as they walked. Johnny’s hand slid along his waist, but instead of wrapping around him, his fingers found their way into his back pocket, thumb hooking over the edge. Johnny cast him a sideways glance, as if checking to make sure it was alright, and he tugged Jake close enough to remove any space between them.

Jake grinned and sucked in a breath as his head spun a little. No one seemed to be paying attention to them, so he leaned in and ran the tip of his nose up the side of Johnny’s neck and pecked behind his ear. Johnny’s fingers dug into Jake’s butt briefly before he turned his head and kissed the edge of Jake’s jaw, his breath warm on his skin. Jake’s smile widened and he ran his hand down the top of his arm, seriously wishing they were alone somewhere so he could _ really _ kiss him rather than in the middle of the street.

They reached Dustin’s house and Jake reluctantly let his arm drop and stepped slightly away from Johnny. Dustin’s mom was pretty cool, but Jake didn’t know if she’d be okay with having his boyfriend staying there. No sense rubbing it in her face. Besides, it would just be impolite. Still, his side felt a little cooler without Johnny up against him and he was looking forward to getting upstairs. 

Jake and Ronnie said hello to Dustin’s parents and Dustin introduced Johnny. Mrs. Loxley beamed at them and sent them upstairs with a cheery, “You boys have fun. Don’t be too loud, okay?”

“We won’t,” Dustin assured her, bounding up the stairs with the others on his heels. 

Jake let the other two go ahead into the large game room at the end of the upstairs hallway and took Johnny’s hand to tug him into the guest bedroom. He grinned at Johnny’s surprised expression as he closed the door behind them and whispered, “I _ really _ just want to kiss you right now.”

“Well,” Johnny placed his hands on Jake’s chest, a playful grin sparking his eyes as he turned him around and gently pushed him against the wall. “I think we can make that happen. Because I _ really _ just want to kiss you, too.”

Jake’s grin widened as he brought a hand up to slide over Johnny’s jaw and brushed his lips over the other boy’s. He sighed happily. Sometimes, being a teenager _ sucked_. The opportunities for them to be alone together were few and far between, which meant they had to get creative and take them where they came. And he swore to fucking god that if someone interrupted them _ again_, he’d beat their asses. 

Johnny’s hands slid around Jake’s waist and he down to him. He moaned softly under his breath and flicked his tongue over Jake’s. Jake groaned and slid his hand into Johnny’s hair, his fingers brushing over the short strands.

Johnny’s hands slid over his ass, holding him firmly, fingers splayed out as if he wanted to feel as much of him as possible. Their breath rushed from their chests, small moans purred in the back of their throats, their fingers whispered over fabric. And it was pure, fucking magic.

Jake dropped a hand down to Johnny’s hip and slid it into his back pocket, gripping the firm muscle. Johnny pulled him closer, sliding a thigh between his, and close suddenly wasn’t close enough. He deepened the kiss, fire bursting in his groin. Johnny hummed into his mouth, his hand tightening on Jake’s ass to rock him against his thigh. He shifted his stance slightly, pressing his groin into Jake’s hip. And then he was sliding his lips along Jake’s jaw, finding the sweet spot at the base of his neck just under his ear, and—_fuck_—Johnny licked his skin. 

Jake cupped the swell of his ass, rocking into him until they were pressed against each other, and kissed a line down Johnny’s neck. Still not close enough. Damn it, he wanted to push him back and lay down on the bed so they could be tangled up in each other, but the sounds from the television in the next room reminded him that they still weren’t truly alone. Instead, he kissed Johnny full on the mouth again, their tongues sliding together as Johnny brought his hand around, fingers trailing over the line of his waistband.

He broke the kiss, panting slightly, leaning his forehead on Jake’s. Warm breath kissed his cheek when he whispered, “You okay with this?”

Jake looked up at him, bringing a hand back down to his jaw. His thumb softly stroked Johnny’s lower lip. “Yeah. More than.”

“I don’t want to push you.”

“No, I… You aren’t.” His fingers slid over the back of the other boy’s hand, guiding it down over the hard bulge in his jeans. 

“Good,” Johnny said, stroking him through his pants. 

“Ohh god, Johnny,” he whispered shakily, his hand trembling against Johnny’s cheek. 

He swallowed hard before leaning in to kiss him again, reveling in feeling someone else’s hand on his dick. Johnny’s fingers traced him through his jeans and found his tip, circling his thumb over it. Jake’s breath caught, his knees all but buckling, and he leaned heavier against him as he brought his hand around to slide over Johnny. 

“The fuck’re you guys doing in there? If you’re fuckin’, you better be willing to change the sheets,” Dustin’s voice interjected, interspersed by banging on the door. 

“God damn it, Dustin,” Jake growled between his teeth, his hand still gentle on Johnny’s face. “Fuck. _ Off_.” 

Every goddamn time. Ten minutes seemed to be the limit on what they could get before _ some_one popped up, cutting in on them. Hell, it was a wonder they’d ever gotten beyond just kissing.

“C’mon, we’re gettin’ lonely out here,” Dustin said. 

“I _ hate _ him,” Jake groaned, pressing his forehead to Johnny’s. No way could he leave the room right now. “We’ll be there in a minute. We’re _ talking_.”

“Is _ that _ what they call it these days? Make you a deal. You tell Ronnie whether you glow blue so he’ll shut the fuck up and we’ll give you all the time you need.”

“I’m gonna kill you, dude,” Jake vowed. “Five fucking minutes.” Johnny’s hand stroked over him again and he bit back a strangled moan.

“You really oughta work on your stamina, Alphabet. I expected better of you,” Dustin teased. “I’m going. I’m going. Hurry up.”

“I’m gonna kill him,” Jake said, kissing Johnny needily. 

“Not if I kill him first.” Johnny grinned, kissing him back. “Though we did kind of abandon them.”

Jake sighed, trailing his thumb over Johnny’s cheek. “Part of me wants to say ‘Fuck ‘em.’ But I guess we gotta be good friends, right?” He reluctantly slid his hand off of him and wrapped his arm around his trim waist instead, shifting to a more neutral stance and simply hugging him. “Gonna take a minute, though, or we’ll never hear the end of it. ...Like we will anyway.”

“Yeah,” Johnny copied him, sliding a hand around his waist and another into his hair, tucking Jake’s head onto his shoulder. “Comes with the territory, I guess?” 

His breathing evened out a bit, but his body was warm and Jake was comfortable. They were quiet for a minute, just holding onto each other, heartbeats slowing closer to normal. Johnny shifted a little, tipping his head so he nuzzled into Jake’s neck. 

Jake gently rubbed his jaw against the side of Johnny’s head. “You kinda mean the world to me. You know that, right?” he said softly.

Hair brushed his cheek as Johnny nodded. “Same. I feel like....like you’re the most important thing in the world to me.” He pulled back a little so he could look him in the eye. “When did that happen?”

“I dunno, but I know what you mean,” he said, tracing a finger over his cheek. “I’d walk through hell for you, babe.”

“Jakey-baby,” Johnny said gently, “you’ll never have to. I’ll always be with you.”

Jake kissed him again, barely a whisper of skin over skin. “Me, too. And if you’re not, I’ll come find you and drag you right outta there. Promise.”

“Me, too, sweetheart,” Johnny’s fingers stroked his hair, emotion shining in his eyes. “You’re mine. And I’m yours.” 

If this wasn’t what love felt like, he couldn’t imagine what it did. How the hell he’d managed to get right here right now, he didn’t know, but he was never gonna bitch about having to clean up after Mat again. Whether his biotics ever ended up being anything else, they’d gotten him Johnny and that was worth anything else in the world.

“I really want you to stay tonight,” he said softly. “We don’t have to do anything. I just kinda want to get to sleep with our arms around each other, and I don’t know how often we’ll get the chance.”

“Yeah,” Johnny nodded. “I’m definitely staying. I’ll text Mom. You sure it’s cool with Dustin’s mom?”

“I’m sure. They pretty much figure we’re teenagers and we’ll do stupid stuff regardless, so they’d rather us do it here where they can make sure we’re not, I dunno, drinking and driving or some shit. So they don’t interfere too much as long as things don’t get too crazy. And she’ll talk to your mom if she wants.”

“Okay,” his eyes slid over to the door, a wry grin on his face. “We should probably get out there before they break the door down to try and catch us…” He turned back to Jake, his eyes sparkling impishly. “So...Do you?”

Jake’s brow furrowed in confusion for a moment before he registered what he was asking. He laughed and nuzzled Johnny’s ear. “You’re the only one who’ll find out,” he said with a grin. He pressed a kiss behind his ear and stepped away with a sigh. “C’mon, babe. If we don’t get out of here, I’m not gonna let you go and then they _ will _ break down the door.” 

He took Johnny’s hand, looking down to make sure they were presentable, and led him out to the game room. 

* * *

“...and then it _ fell off _ his head and into his water glass! I swear, I have no idea how it did it, but somehow the whole damn thing ended up in there!” Dustin cackled, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table in front of him and taking a swig of his soda. “Slid into it like a weasel taking a bath or something.”

“And when he fished it back out, it looked like something he pulled out of a blocked bathroom sink,” Ronnie added. “Smelled like it, too!”

“Ugh, gross,” Jake said, leaning into Johnny. 

The tales about Mr. Norrington’s toupee had turned into an almost daily source of entertainment. Jake didn’t have any classes with him, so hearing it second-hand had utterly ridiculous mental images going through his head. It almost made him wish he’d taken Social Studies instead of Debate this semester. Johnny laughed and pressed closer to Jake, seemingly content to listen to the other boys talk. 

The movie on the vid screen was forgotten for the moment, although it still played on in the background of the darkened room. Johnny’s thumb brushed over his knuckles, their palms sweaty from holding onto each other. 

Dustin’s game room was separated into two areas, one with a pool table and a foosball table, and the conversation pit, a sunken floor with couches built into the shape of a square with open space in the middle. The couches folded out to cover the floor and make a big bed for get-togethers like this since they only had the one extra guest room. 

“You wanna know the worst part?” Dustin asked. Ronnie grimaced in anticipation. “The water after he pulled it out…”

“Ugh,” Ronnie groaned. “The _ oil _ it left behind! And then! And then!” 

“He drank it!” the boys said together.

“You lie!” Jake said, fighting the urge to gag. “You two made that up.”

“Swear to fucking Christ, man, we couldn’t make that shit up,” Dustin said. 

Ronnie shook his head, looking slightly green in spite of his dark skin. “It was nasty. Like he forgot or something.”

Johnny shuddered and shook his head. “That’s bullshit. Everyone knows Mr. Norrington only drinks coffee.” He looked over at Jake. “He has one of those thermal cups. They’re full of shit.”

Dustin and Ronnie gave each other a sheepish grin. Ronnie laughed and said, “Okay, so we made that last part up. But the toupee really did fall in a glass of water he had for some object lesson and it really was nasty.”

“I thought Kelly was going to throw up,” Dustin added, “especially when Toby _ joked _that it would be gross if he drank it.”

Johnny curled a little closer into him and then squirmed as Ronnie tossed a piece of popcorn at them, “Get a room, assholes.”

“We tried that and you guys came and got us,” Johnny shot back, picking up the kernel and eating it. “So shut the fuck up, douche.” 

Jake raised a brow and bit back a grin. “He’s right,” he said with a shrug. “Dustin tried to break down the door. So, you get to deal with us now.” 

Ronnie rolled his eyes, “Just keep it in your pants, hotshot.”

“Like I’d just pull it out here.” He leaned back against Jake with a huff.

Jake wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Get ‘im, _ tigr_,” he chuckled, nuzzling Johnny’s neck with his nose.

“Rawr.” Johnny turned and looked at him, grinning. He snuggled closer, dropping his hand on Jake’s leg. 

“Means I love you in dinosaur,” Jake whispered.

He cast a glance over at his friends, whose attention had drifted back to the movie. Johnny leaned closer, closing his eyes as he brushed Jake’s cheek with his own. Jake’s heart gave a little flip as he reflexively turned his head to face him, their lips feathering against each other. 

Jake glanced past him to ensure that the guys were still occupied, and pressed his lips more firmly against Johnny’s, his pulse pounding in his ears. He felt the flick of Johnny’s tongue against his lip, the other boy’s mouth opening just wide enough to feel warm breath and hear the soft sigh as Johnny pulled him closer. Hands skirted along his waist, arms wrapping around him. He felt warm and _ wanting. _

Jake bit back a groan and resisted the urge to drag him out of the room. But something had to give and _ fast _ because he could _ not _ get a hard-on in front of his buddies. ‘Think about baseball,’ Ronnie liked to say. Fine. _ Think about baseball. Think about baseball. _ Johnny’s tongue delved into his mouth, slipping along his teeth and over his own tongue, and the thought devolved into a simple, desperate, _ Beysbol beysbol beysbol _.

Johnny broke the kiss. “Are you whispering ‘baseball’?” he asked incredulously.

Jake’s eyes popped open, the back of his neck blazing. “Trying to not, y’know.” He gestured down at his lap, voice low. “And Ronnie said think about baseball, but how’m I supposed to think about stats and shit when I’ve got you this close? I...it’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not,” but Johnny laughed softly. “It’s...adorable. You’re fucking adorable.” Johnny’s arms tightened around him, drawing him almost into his lap. “I like it.”

“It’s okay,” he said with a shy grin. “You can say it’s dumb. Or I’m dumb. Hell, who actually _ does _ that, anyway? ‘Baseball.’ I’m an idiot.” He chuckled to himself, arms tightening around Johnny as well. At least he didn’t seem to mind _ too _ much that Jake was a dumbass sometimes.

“Shut up,” Johnny whispered. “You’re not dumb. And if it works…” He flashed another devilish grin. “Did it?”

Jake tipped his head in consideration, glancing down at himself. “Yeah, actually. Sorta, but sorta’s better than nothing given, ah, present company.”

He glanced around again, catching Ronnie studiously avoiding them with a smirk on his face. He sighed and tucked his head against Johnny’s shoulder, pressing his lips to his neck. Damn it, there were always too many people around. Later, though, when these assholes went to bed, it would be just them. And then they could actually talk and _ maybe _kiss some more without being cut short for once. Which might take a shit-ton of self-control, but it’d be worth it for uninterrupted time with him. Who knew having a boyfriend could be such a logistical nightmare? His buddies needed to crash out already.

“I’m glad I stayed,” Johnny whispered. “Not just because of this, but because I enjoy being with you.”

Jake smiled against his hair. “Me, too. I like getting to spend time with you. You’re a lot of fun to be around. This,” he squeezed him, “is just a bonus.”

“Yeah.” Johnny’s chin rested on his head and he shifted to make himself more comfortable, tucking Jake up under his arm. He turned his attention to the vid screen but slid Jake fully into his lap. Jake’s fingers toyed with the sleeve of his shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin against his knuckles. He liked the way they fit together. 

Footsteps coming up the stairs a few moments later made Jake sigh and nudge Johnny to sit up. Mrs. Loxley poked her head into the room. “Dustin, did you show the boys where the extra blankets are?”

“Yeah, Mom, I’ll get them,” he said.

“Okay. You boys don’t stay up too much longer. It’s getting late. I’m making pancakes for breakfast. You’re all welcome to stay,” she said.

A chorus of “Thank you, Mrs. Loxley,” went around the room. 

Dustin went to an armoire and pulled out an armful of blankets. Ronnie followed and fetched the pillows while Jake showed Johnny how to unfold the beds and the four of them got the area set up. They settled again, the other two finding their own section to stretch out on while Jake and Johnny curled up together again. When the vid ended, Dustin put a new one on, a comedy that Jake hadn’t seen yet. Ronnie’s soft snores cut through the silence as the movie started. Dustin had been blinking blearily at the screen for most of the previous one and Jake willed him to fall asleep. 

Johnny spread a blanket around them and tucked up against his back, his hand slipping under Jake’s shirt. Johnny nibbled on the side of his neck, his hardened length pressing against Jake’s ass through their jeans. Jake sucked in a breath, pushing back against him and sliding a hand down the outside of his thigh as he tried to imagine that inside him. He’d seen enough porn to know it would fit, and he’d played with himself there a few times, but that was a different thing from having a dick up his ass. 

Dustin’s head bobbed but his eyes remained on the screen, a tired chuckle shaking his shoulders when the main character cracked a joke. Johnny’s hand splayed over Jake’s belly, traveling over his abs, his fingers tracing the edge of his waistband. He thumbed the button open, easing the zipper down, and Jake’s hips jerked. His whimper was covered up by an explosion on screen. 

“Shhh,” Johnny whispered. “He’s almost asleep. Don’t get us caught.” 

Johnny’s hand slipped into his pants, cupping him through his boxers, and Jake brought his hand up to bite the pad of his thumb to suppress his moan. He rocked against Johnny’s hand, feeling his dick slide between his ass cheeks as he did so. A soft groan in Johnny’s chest vibrated his back. The other boy trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses down the back of his neck over his spine, scraping his teeth over the bone at the base of his neck. 

Fortunately, Dustin’s head had come to rest against his chin and his eyes were closed because a blue glow flashed over Jake’s skin. Johnny chuckled softly and murmured, “I bet you do. Y’know. Glow. Bet I can make you. I want to find out.” 

“Fuck, Johnny,” Jake breathed, grinding against his hand. Heat burst in his chest, his belly tightening as need carved itself into his muscles. “Don’t fucking stop.” 

Warm fingers slid beneath the waistband of his boxers and Jake buried his face in the pillow to cover his strangled moan as Johnny’s hand wrapped around him, stroking him from tip to base and back up to circle his tip. His hips jerked, thrusting into the other boy’s hand as his ass rocked against Johnny’s hard cock. Johnny ground himself against Jake, panting softly. 

“Yeah, baby,” the other boy whispered, “feels good, doesn’t it? God, I could do this all night. If we were really alone, I’d use my mouth, see what kind of noises I could get you to make.” 

“Johnny,” he mewled into the pillow, feeling almost as if he was humping the bed as that warm hand continued stroking him and Johnny’s hips moved in tandem with his hand. 

“No interruptions this time,” Johnny breathed, continuing even when Ronnie flopped onto his back and muttered something about Freida. “Come for me, baby.” 

The words were so raw and shocking that they proved to be his undoing. As if on cue, Jake thrust one last time into the boy’s hand and spurted his release, biting down on the pillow to keep from crying out. Lightning raced under his skin again, casting their bed in a soft blue glow. The front of his boxers stuck to his skin. Johnny buried his face against Jake’s back and his hips bucked once, twice, and then he was choking back a deep moan of his own as dark energy swirled over his skin, pressing into Jake’s and meshing with them, connecting them so closely that Jake could swear he felt Johnny’s rapid heartbeat in his own chest. 

They lay like that for a few minutes, struggling to catch their breath, and Johnny wiped his hand clean on Jake’s boxers before wrapping his arms around him and turning him so that Jake’s head rested on his chest and their legs tangled together. Johnny’s lips pressed against the top of his head. 

“That was awesome,” he whispered.

At first, Jake could only nod, trembling and clinging to him as the afterglow flowed through him and their biotics faded. Finally, he said, “Yeah,” in a voice that was hoarse and barely audible. “Fuck.”

“Not yet,” Johnny said, grinning against his hair. 

They fell asleep like that, cuddled in each other’s arms, and didn’t move again until the sun was streaming through the windows and the sound of Mrs. Loxley cooking breakfast drifted up the stairs. Ronnie woke first, and then Dustin. Jake came awake to the sound of the two of them quietly making jokes about what they’d done after everyone had gone to sleep. They couldn’t see his face, so he grinned against Johnny’s chest.

If they only knew.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a short one, so early update. Merry Christmas

“C’mon, Jake,” Johnny said from behind him. “Shift’s over. Mom said we can go.”

Jake finished arranging the boxes of nutrigel on the shelf and turned to grin at his boyfriend. When baseball ended, Mat had informed him that he wouldn’t play again the next season unless he worked the rest of the year to help pay bills. Mrs. Shepard had hired him on at the store and he’d been working there for the past month. 

The one good thing about the job—aside from money and more time with Johnny—was that it got Mat to stop bitching as much. If she hit him and left a mark, he’d have to call in sick. He was pretty sure that most of what he gave her went for booze, but Mrs. Shepard paid him in physical credit chits instead of electronic funds, so he was able to squirrel some away for himself. He was going to need a new uniform next year: he’d hit that growth spurt he’d been expecting that had brought both height and bulk, and his old one no longer fit. He also wanted a better bat and thought maybe he’d be able to save up enough to get real piano lessons. 

Johnny’s hand slipped into his as they walked to Jake’s house. Mat  _ had  _ objected to him spending so much time at the Shepards’ house with ‘that blue girl’—Maxine—and had insisted that he start spending at least half of it at home. It meant even less alone time than before, but they’d still managed to sneak in more than a few kisses and even another time or two like the one at Dustin’s. 

It also forced them to do something other than sex when they were around each other, and Jake found himself talking to Johnny about things he’d never told anyone, not even Dustin. Johnny did the same with him, and they’d lately begun to dream and make plans together. 

Jake didn’t know what he wanted to do after high school, but he knew he wanted to stay close to Johnny, so they decided that they’d find a university that could accommodate both of them. If they couldn’t, they’d go in the Alliance, but they both wanted to settle down back here. Johnny wanted to be close to his family and this was Jake’s home. He’d never wanted to live anywhere else. 

After a quick check to make sure Mat wasn’t home, they went into Jake’s room and dropped onto the bed, sprawling out close enough to touch but apart enough to move quickly if Mat came home. Johnny picked up one of his hands and trailed his fingertips down Jake’s fingers, tracing them down and up again before pressing their palms together. His eyes caught on the holo piano on Jake’s desk and he nodded to it. 

“Why haven’t I ever heard you play?” Johnny asked. 

The back of Jake’s neck flushed and he ducked his head. “You’ve never asked, and I don’t really play for other people. I do it for myself. I’m not that good. I haven’t been able to get lessons.”

“Come on, Jakey-baby,” Johnny cajoled. “Play me a song.”

“Fine,” Jake sighed, sitting up and going to his desk chair. 

He activated the projector and piano keys covered the surface of his desk. After a moment’s consideration, he placed his fingers into position and began to play. Johnny rolled onto his belly, his chin resting on his stacked hands, pale gray-green eyes peering out at him as his fingers drifted across the keys, slowly at first and then faster. His own eyes closed, losing himself in the melody, his lips curling up into a smile. The chair squeaked quietly as he moved his body with the flow of his hands, feeling the music from his fingers to his toes. It eventually slowed to a stop and he looked over at Johnny again. 

The other boy’s lips were slightly parted, his eyes wide, a stunned smile gracing his face. “That was...wow, Jake. That was fucking amazing. And watching you get into it. It’s like when you’re at bat and the bases are loaded and you know the win’s on your shoulders. You forget the rest of the world exists. You’re beautiful.” He paused, his grin turning slightly wicked. “Or when my hands are on you.”

Jake flushed deeper, shooting him a shy smile. “You’re the beautiful one,” he said, his fingers moving again. 

He grinned, bopping a little in the chair and keeping his eyes on Johnny. ‘Beautiful’ didn’t begin to cover it. His face had changed even in the few months they’d been together, and Jake could now see the man he was going to grow up to be. The little bit of softness he’d had when they’d gotten together had melted away, leaving a face that was all strong lines and flat planes, an almost perfect square to a jawline chiseled into sharp angles. The stubble that grew along it accentuated the hollows of his cheeks and made his cheekbones look even higher than they were. His nose was long and slim, perfectly shaped. 

His lips, god, Jake could spend hours focusing on the perfect bow of his mouth. It was rivaled only by those pale almond-shaped eyes that popped so brightly that the rest of his face registered a few heartbeats after them. And that didn’t even begin to touch on the deliciousness that was the rest of his body. 

He was saved from utter perfection by his ears, which were still just a little bit too large for his face and earlobes that were more than a little bit too big for his ears. It was one of those things that once Jake had seen it, he couldn’t unsee it, but rather than detracting from him, it was a reassuring reminder that Johnny was a human and not a sex god come down to tease him. And yet, if Johnny realized it, he didn’t show it. 

“You don’t know you’re beautiful. If only you saw what I can see, you’ll understand why I want you so desperately. Right now, I’m looking at you and I can’t believe you don’t know, you don’t know you’re beautiful,” he sang with a grin.

Johnny’s ears flushed and he ducked his head with a self-conscious laugh. “You’re crazy.” 

“To prove I’m right, I put it in a so-o-ong. I don’t know why you’re being shy and turn away when I look in your eyes,” he continued with a chuckle.* 

“Neither do you,” Johnny said, rolling his eyes and focusing back in on him. 

“I just look like a guy,” Jake protested. 

He’d seen himself, and he viewed himself in his deficits to Johnny. His face was softer than Johnny’s. Not by much, but enough to make his nose look  _ too _ sharp. His mouth was too narrow, his eyes too colorless, his brow too heavy. He wasn’t vain, but he knew that Johnny was the one with the looks in their pairing. 

“You’re insane,” Johnny said. “You’ve got those deepset eyes that make you look broody and mysterious, but they’re fucking  _ silver _ like somebody melted some down and used it to fill your irises. It’s freaky sometimes, looking at them, because they’re so intense. And they crinkle at the corners when you smile, which is just fucking adorable. And your nose is like...like one of those marble statues back on Earth that people used to carve. And holy fuck, don’t get me started on your mouth. First off, you’ve got the sexiest mouth. Oh my fucking  _ god _ am I dying to get those lips of yours around my dick, but that’s not all of it. You smile and my heart skips beats and shit.”

“I’m nothing special,” Jake scoffed. 

Johnny rose up to prop himself on his forearms, cocking his head at him. “Who told you you’re not? I know it wasn’t a guy. Your mom? Baby, she’s a cunt. And she’s crazy.”

“Shh,” Jake hissed, leaning back to look out the window and ensure that she hadn’t come in without him hearing it. 

“She isn’t here,” Johnny said. “Dad’s got some project he’s working on. He told Mom he wouldn’t be home in time for dinner, so she’ll probably be late, too. Anyway, your mom’s nuts. Don’t listen to her when she says shit like that.” 

“What if she’s right, though?” he asked, looking away and watching his fingers ghost over the keys. His deepest fear came out in a choked whisper. “I mean, she’s my  _ mom _ . If my own mother can’t love me, there’s gotta be something wrong with me, right? If she can’t love me, who the hell can?” 

“Me,” Johnny said softly. “I love you, Jake.”

His fingers froze on the keys and he turned slowly to look at him, half-expecting Johnny to laugh and walk out the door. The other boy just looked at him, holding a hand out to him with a brow cocked. Jake took it, remaining where he was because he didn’t trust his legs to hold him up.

“Nobody’s ever said that to me,” he whispered. “Or, well, maybe my dad did before he died, but I don’t remember. “So nobody I know of.”

“Then I’ll just have to say it enough to make up for it,” he said. “I love you, Yakov Pryczmatrivet. Teach me how to say it in Russian, and I’ll do that, too.”

Jake stumbled from the chair to the bed, throwing himself down beside the other boy, who turned to catch him, and buried his face in Johnny’s chest. “I love you, too, Johnny Shepard,” he whispered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "What Makes You Beautiful" by OneDirection


	8. Chapter 8

Jake cheered as Johnny sprinted across the field with the football tucked up under his arm. Members of the other team grabbed for him from all directions, determined to stop him, but when they reached, he just wasn’t there anymore. He bobbed and weaved, twisted and leapt with all the grace of an acrobat, never letting them get closer than a wish or a hope. Zigging and zagging through the rush of people, he bolted across the line, throwing the ball down and his hands in the air.

“Yes! Go Johnny!” Jake shouted, jumping up off of the bleachers with his fist up. 

“Enthusiastic little shit, isn’t he?” Maxine chuckled, elbowing Will.

“Be nice, Maxine,” Hannah scolded with a smile for Jake. “It’s nice to see him so animated. Besides, it’s his birthday. He _ should _be happy.”

“How do you know that?” he asked her.

She said, “Anya and I were in the hospital at the same time. You and Johnny were born on the same day. April 11, 2154. I had him in the morning and you came later that afternoon. You were the first two babies conceived and born on Mindoir. It was a big deal.”

“I thought Maxine or Will were,” he said, winking at Johnny on the field as the boy ran to the sidelines to his coach. 

“No,” she said. “Maxine was born on Earth. She was a baby when we came here, and I was already pregnant with Will. He was one of the first ones _ born _on Mindoir, but you two were the first whose entire existence occurred here.”

He leaned back and propped his elbows on the empty bleacher behind him to look over at Hannah. “What’s it like? If you don’t mind me asking. Leaving your world and going to a whole new one? Was it weird?”

She laughed softly and Thomas chuckled, rubbing a hand up and down her back. “It takes a certain pioneering spirit, yes,” he said.

“Why’d you do it?” he asked, hoping he wasn’t crossing any lines. Mat hated when he asked questions like this. She said children should be seen and not heard.

Hannah gestured around them. “What do you see, Jacob?”

He looked around, cocking an eyebrow in confusion. “Uh. Football field. The school. Dirt. Sky.”

“And open spaces,” she said. “Our backyards back up to what?” 

“Um, mine goes to wheat fields. Yours to the McAlister’s farm,” he said. “Pastures and sh-stuff.”

“And our yard is large enough to have a garden and trees and horses and room for the kids to run and play. Yours has…?”

“Our garden and Katya’s pen,” he said. Katya was his goat, a cute little black thing with nubby horns and floppy ears that he’d gotten from the McAlister’s for milk. 

She nodded and said, “On Earth, this field would be enclosed on all sides by a stadium because it would have to serve for all the sports instead of each one having its own field. There wouldn’t be real grass. It would be artificial turf that got rolled out and rolled up again depending on what it was being used for because there’s no room. The school would be built up instead of out so that it created a smaller footprint. When you looked up to see the blue sky overhead, you’d also see metal and glass and concrete of high-rises because there are so many _ people _there that there’s no room. There are entire islands of concrete with no grass or trees except what are planted to be decorative.”

“That sounds...crowded,” he said.

Thomas chuckled again. “It was.”

Hannah continued. “Even outside of the megapolises, there was so little green left. It seemed as though humanity was determined to wipe out everything that made Earth the beautiful planet it had been. The only wild places left were those that were too harsh to be inhabitable, and even those were encroached upon. We lived in an apartment with no yard where we were already cramped together. The cost of living is so high that with both of us working constantly, all we would have been able to afford would have been a two-bedroom apartment where the kids would have had to share a room. We wanted them to be able to see the sky when they looked up, to have space to run and play, to be able to go somewhere and look around and not see signs of humanity, to be able to experience what it felt like to be _ alone _ , to know what _ quiet _ meant. They couldn’t have that there, so we left.”

“Guess that means you don’t miss it,” he laughed.

“Not a bit,” she agreed. 

“Mat plans to go back,” he said. “When I’m able to move out.”

“I don’t understand it, but not everyone is cut out for colony life,” Thomas said. “Will you stay?”

“Yes,” he said. “Maybe somewhere else for university. Not many options here for that. But this is my home. I don’t wanna live on Earth. Blue sky would just be weird.”

That got nods from Maxine and Will and a full, rich laugh from Thomas. “Pink sky was bizarre to us. We didn’t realize how many idioms were reliant on that which don’t make as much sense here. ‘Out of the pink’ doesn’t have quite the same ring as ‘out of the blue’.”

The buzzer sounded and the players ran off the field to let the band and cheerleaders move onto the field for halftime. Jake broke off the conversation with a hurried ‘excuse me, sorry,’ and bounded down the bleachers for the locker rooms. He snuck in and found Johnny straddling a bench with a wet towel draped over his head. The boy’s eyes were a pure, snowy gray in the white jersey with SHEPARD and the number 13 in green on the back. 

“Hey!” Johnny greeted with a smile. “You came!” 

“I told you I would,” he said, leaning in to give him a kiss. “Happy birthday.”

“Mm. Happy birthday to you, too,” he said, tugging Jake down in front of him and resting his hands on his hips. “What’s your mom doing for you today?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, reaching up to rub the towel over Johnny’s sweaty brown hair.

“For your birthday. Dinner, cake, presents? Are you having a party? Just the two of you? What’s the plan?” Johnny asked.

Jake shrugged. “We don’t...we don’t really do that. It’s just like any other day. The only holiday Mat does is Christmas.”

“Seriously?” Johnny scoffed. “Nothing? For your _ birthday_? You’ve _ never _ had a birthday party?” 

“No,” Jake laughed. “What’s the big deal?”

“You’re coming to my house tonight,” he declared. “I’ll share mine. I got you a present, too. I was going to invite you to come by after you were done at home, but I’ll just give it to you after the game instead. You like cake, right? You’ve had cake before, right?”

“I’ve been to _ other people’s _ birthdays, dork,” he said. “Ronnie and Dustin do stuff every year. I’ve just never had one.”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Johnny asked, stroking his thumbs over Jake’s sides and making him shiver. 

“I mean...I guess I used to be jealous a little, but I got over it,” he said.

Johnny leaned in and kissed him soundly. “Today, you get a birthday.”

* * *

“Happy birthday, Johhhhnny and Jaaaake. Happy birthday to youuuu!” the Shepards sang off-key and out of sync, but no one seemed to notice.

Johnny looked at him with a bright grin, his eyes olive-gray to match his shirt and sparkling with the candlelight, and gestured with his head for Jake to lean in, too. Together, they blew out the candles, Johnny’s hand giving his a squeeze. As soon as the last flame was extinguished, hands were reaching in and plucking the sixteen candles out, moving the cake around to get a better angle on it. 

Hannah lightly smacked Maxine’ hand with a spatula when she tried to just scoop up a piece with her fingers. “Birthday boys get first piece. You know that,” she told her, but she didn’t seem mad and everyone laughed.

Maxine gave her a chagrined look and stepped back. “Yes, Mom,” she said, rubbing her hand with a grin.

Jake watched with wide eyes, tucking his free hand into his pocket and holding tighter to Johnny, who was still completely relaxed. Hannah cut the cake into slices and scooped two onto plates, holding them out for Jake and Johnny. Jake waited until Johnny had taken his and took it with a soft ‘thank you.’ Chaos broke out again as Maxine and Will went back to vying for the next piece and Thomas rocked back in his chair to watch the madness. 

Johnny pulled a seat out and gestured for Jake to take it, sitting beside him and digging in with a groan. Jake took a bite and then another before shoveling it in like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted—which it might have been. He’d eaten other people’s birthday cakes before, but he wasn’t big on sweet stuff and he’d never paid much attention to it. This, though, was his first birthday cake, and it was delicious.

“Thank you, Mrs. Shepard,” he said when his plate was clear. 

“Presents!” Will shouted.

“Jake’s first!” Johnny said, his grin splitting his face.

“No, do his last,” Will said. “Otherwise, he’ll start playing with it and we’ll never get this done. I wanna go see Erin.”

“Oh, sorry my _ birthday _ is interfering with your _ girlfriend_,” Johnny sneered with an eye roll before turning to Johnny. “He’s right, though. Let’s do yours last. Is that okay?”

Jake tucked his hands in his own back pockets and shrugged. “I really wasn’t expecting anything. I got you something, too, though.” He’d managed to save up enough credits from working at the store to order something he hoped Johnny would like. He was pretty sure he didn’t already have it. 

“You didn’t have to,” Johnny said, cupping his cheek and brushing a thumb over it. 

“I wanted to,” Jake said, covering his hand with his own until Mr. Shepard cleared his throat and they jumped apart with matching blushes. 

Each of the Shepards passed Johnny a box wrapped in colorful paper, and Jake sat back to watch him open his gifts. The paper was so pretty that Jake expected him to be very careful with it—Mat got mad if he tore his wrapping paper on the rare occasions she got him something for Christmas and it couldn’t be reused later—but Johnny tore into it with abandon, throwing pieces at his brother and sister like confetti. They laughed and Will threw it back while Maxine collected it, crumpling it into a ball that she pinged Johnny in the forehead with. 

Johnny thanked them all for his presents—new clothes from his parents, since they were apparently now all too big for hand-me-downs and the Shepards didn’t get theirs secondhand like Mat did—a new game for his console from Maxine, and a new seat cover to replace the one on his motorcycle that had cracked from the sun and age. 

Jake handed his gift over last, chewing his lip as he watched Johnny tear into it. He opened the box and pulled out the model Tardis Jake had put together for him over the past week and held it up with a grin before drawing out the little, flat box beneath it. He opened that and lifted the necklace Jake had found, a simple long chain with a silver version of the Star Trek symbol hanging from it. Johnny beamed at him and fastened it around his neck before leaning in and giving Jake a smacking kiss. 

“Thank you, baby. I love it,” he said. “Especially coming from you and your Trekkie-hating ways.”

He helped clean up the shreds of paper and put them into the recycler before taking Jake’s hand and leading him into the living room, where something large and blocky stood under a gray sheet with a giant blue bow on top. 

“What is this?” Jake laughed. 

“It was too big to wrap,” Johnny said with a chuckle. “Go ahead, ‘open’ it.”

Jake pulled the massive bow off and plopped it on top of Johnny’s head like a hat before ducking under it and kissing him. “My best birthday present’s right here,” he whispered.

“Gross!” Maxine groaned. “Oh my god, you two are so disgusting!” 

“Shut up,” Johnny said, kissing Jake back. “Mine, too. Open it anyway.”

Jake turned and whipped the sheet off with a flourish, half-turning to give a joking bow before it registered what he was looking at. “That’s a piano!” he gaped. “A real piano! Johnny! You can’t get me a real piano!”

Johnny laughed, batting the bow to the floor. “Really? ‘Cause I did. Well, _ we _did. I couldn’t afford all of it by myself, so Mom and Dad and Maxine and Will threw in on it, too. I know your mom won’t let you have it at home since you have to hide your holo piano, but that just means you’ll have to come over and use it here.”

“I just hope you can play it and we didn’t just subject ourselves to clanging noise,” Maxine laughed, leaning over to playfully bang her fingers over random keys, sending up a discordant jangle that made Jake wince. 

“I can play it,” he said shyly. “I’m not great or anything, but I can play songs. You guys really shouldn’t have, though.” He wiped at his eyes, swallowing hard. “Nobody’s ever...that was a lot of money.”

“Play for me?” Johnny whispered against his ear, wrapping his arms around Jake’s waist and hugging him. “You’re good on a holo piano. You’d be really good on a real one.”

Jake nodded, heat flushing the back of his neck. He hoped he didn’t screw it up. He’d only ever played for Johnny; he’d certainly never thought he would for a group like this. He took a seat at the upright piano, his fingers rested on the keys, streaming over them and testing the tone and feel. It was already in tune and he quickly forgot his audience as he flowed easily into a song. 

“My mother said I’m too romantic. She said ‘you’re dancing in the movies’. I almost started to believe her, but then I saw you and I knew....” He looked up at Johnny as he sang quietly. “They say that we’re out of control and some say we’re sinners, but don’t let them ruin our beautiful rhythms. Cause when you unfold me and tell me you love me and look in my eyes, you are perfection, my only direction, it’s fire on fire.” Johnny placed the Tardis on top of the piano and slipped onto the bench seat beside him, straddling it and looking at him. “I don’t say a word, but still you take a breath and steal the things I know. There you go, saving me from out of the cold.”* 

“That was beautiful, Jake,” Mrs. Shepard said when his fingers slipped off of the keys and the music drifted to a close. 

“Perfect,” Johnny whispered. “Totally worth it.”

Jake leaned his forehead against Johnny’s, his hands sliding over his thighs. “I love you,” he breathed, heedless of his parents and siblings. It was so filling, so overwhelming, that he thought he’d burst if he couldn’t say the words.

“I love you, too, Jake,” Johnny said without shame, wrapping his arms around him. 

Jake buried his face in Johnny’s neck, emotion overwhelming him, and turned to face him on the bench. The other boy held him tight, stroking his fingers through his hair and kissing his temple until Jake was able to get himself under control again. When he looked up, the room was empty but for them. 

“Happy birthday, baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A/N “Fire on Fire” Sam Smith


	9. Chapter 9

Jake perched on the edge of his bed, wiping his damp palms on his jeans and watching Johnny strip his shirt off. His mouth was dry and his stomach was a riot of butterflies. His heart beat so hard, he thought it was going to pound out of his chest. They were going to do it for the first time and he was equal parts as hard as he’d ever been in his life and scared out of his mind. 

Mat was working late tonight to help Marcus finish up the year-end figures. She’d taken dinner to work with her because she always ended up there until after Jake had gone to bed for the night. Hannah was still at the store and had given the boys the afternoon off. School was out for the planting season break. It was just Jake and Johnny, and they’d decided this was the opportunity they’d been waiting for. 

Johnny kept his eyes on Jake’s as he toed off his shoes and popped the button of his jeans. “You planning on keeping your clothes on the whole time, baby?” he asked.

“Oh. No,” Jake said, tugging at his own shirt and getting it caught on his elbow and his head in his rush of nerves. 

Johnny chuckled and plucked it off his head before gently pushing him back and crawling up his body to kiss him softly. “How about we start with this?” he asked against Jake’s lips. “Don’t be nervous, Jakey-baby. I’ll take care of you. If you get scared, we’ll stop. If something’s uncomfortable, we’ll stop. If you want to fuck me, we can do it that way. If you want me to fuck you, we can do that, too. I just want to do it with you, however it takes.”

“Okay,” Jake whispered, sliding his hands up Johnny’s toned sides, feeling the flex of muscle and ridges of his ribcage. 

Johnny lowered his head again, pressing their lips together and running his hands over Jake’s chest, thumbing at his nipples and tracing the muscles of his abdomen. Jake sighed and relaxed into his touch and his kiss, parting his lips for him and feeling the smoothness of his skin as his hands trailed up Johnny’s back to his broad shoulders. His erection pressed against Jake’s, his hips rocking shallowly as if he couldn’t fully control his eagerness. 

Johnny’s tongue slid into his mouth, familiar now and welcome, dancing with his the way they’d learned they liked, driving away some of the nerves as Jake rolled Johnny onto his back and deepened the kiss. Johnny’s head fell back and he sighed when he felt Jake’s lips follow the line of his pulse down to his collarbone and over his shoulder. 

Jake’s body rolled against his, and he moaned when Johnny’s hands swept down to cup his ass, pulling him closer and grinding against him through their jeans. His zipper dug almost painfully against him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care enough to stop. 

He breathed a sigh of relief when Johnny drew his zipper down, pushing his jeans down to his knees. Jake wriggled out of them, doing the same with Johnny’s and moaning again when Johnny raised his hips to strip them off. They rolled on the bed again, Johnny’s hand wrapping around his thigh and pulling it up around his waist as they rocked against each other and Johnny claimed his mouth again. 

The other boy shifted, sliding his hardened length against Jake’s ass through their underwear and Jake’s back arched as he dragged in a breath. “Johnny!” 

“I got you, baby,” he breathed, planting sloppy kisses down his chest and belly. 

Their eyes met when Johnny hooked his fingers over the waistband of Jake’s briefs and tugged them down, freeing him to the air. Jake’s hands fisted in the blanket as he watched Johnny, shaky breaths escaping his lips. The other boy’s pale gray-blue eyes roamed over him before looking back up at him with what he thought was appreciation. Johnny’s hand wrapped around him, stroking him slowly to draw back his foreskin. With a wicked grin, Johnny ducked his head and licked his exposed tip, keeping his eyes locked on Jake’s

His head fell back and he groaned, his hips jerking at the warm, wet tongue lapping at him, and then soft lips were wrapping around him and it wasn’t just someone else’s  _ hand  _ on him, it was Johnny’s  _ mouth _ and he was inside it and it felt like nothing he’d ever imagined before. His hips rocked, thrusting shallowly into his mouth, trying not to hit the back of his throat. There was a pop and a rustle that Jake couldn’t bring himself to be too curious about, and then a wet finger was trailing between his ass cheeks.

He’d touched himself there before. He thought he knew how it felt. But Johnny’s finger teasing his hole was nothing like his own. His knees came up and he tightened his grip on the blue plaid blanket beneath him. His breath came in ragged pants, and he forgot to be nervous. He wanted...more, something, Johnny. 

He was distracted from the slight pressure of Johnny’s finger pushing into him by his tongue circling his tip and Johnny’s cheeks hollowing as he sucked him down again. Jake cried out, writhing beneath him, completely given over to sensation, and Johnny pressed his finger fully into him. 

“Oh, fuck! Johnny!” His head thrashed on the pillow and his hips moved of their own volition, seeking more from his hand and his mouth, heat drawing into a burning core deep inside him. 

Johnny hummed around him, still watching him. Jake forgot how to breathe, his eyes rolling back into his head and words tumbling from his lips in Russian, begging for something he thought he could identify but was more than he’d ever felt before on his own or with Johnny. 

Johnny added a slow twist of his wrist as he stroked in him, opening his throat and swallowing him fully down, his nose touching Jake’s skin. It was too much. He couldn’t hold back. He couldn’t stop. Dark energy flared around him as he pulsed into the other boy’s mouth, his ass tightening around his finger to hold them deep.

“Johnnyjohnny _ johnny _ !”

Johnny sucked him until he hissed in a sharp breath and tried to pull away, the sensation almost painful, more than he could bear. The boy drew off of him, slowly easing his finger out of him, and kissed up his belly again, stretching out beside him and pressing his heavy erection against Jake’s hip as he leaned in and kissed him hungrily. Jake could taste himself on the other boy’s tongue, but he didn’t care.

“‘M sorry,” he whispered. “I couldn’t hold back.”

“It’s okay, baby,” Johnny said. “We’ve got all day. We can try again in a little bit.” He reached down and wrapped his hand around himself and began to stroke. “But I’m gonna take care of this one because I’m about to bust a fucking nut. You’re so fucking hot, baby.” 

“Let me,” Jake said, swatting his hand away and easing down his body. 

He knelt at the foot of the bed and Johnny sat up to watch him, his hands gripping the edge. Johnny was thicker around than he was, though a little shorter. He wrapped his fingers around him, still caught by the novelty of feeling a dick that wasn’t his own in his hand, and ducked his head, trying to copy what Johnny had done to him. Moisture was beaded on Johnny’s tip and he licked it experimentally, testing the salty flavor and watching Johnny’s head fall back and his lips part. 

“Ohhh, fuck, Jake, do that again.”

With a grin, his tongue darted out and he licked the damp slit again, fluttering his tongue over it and drawing a moan from the other boy that he’d never heard before. Johnny’s fingers went white on the edge of the bed and his toes curled on the floor. 

Jake wrapped his lips around him, taking him as deep as he could, and started bobbing his head, his hand still around what he couldn’t take in his mouth. His mouth watered as Johnny thrust into it, and he used that to stroke him with his hand as well, matching it with his mouth. Johnny’s balls tightened against him, drawing up against his body and he dropped back onto his elbows, his head still back and his abs flexing as his hips rocked. 

Jake reached out and found the bottle of lube, awkwardly getting some onto his fingers with one hand, and stroked it over Johnny’s ass. The other boy’s high moan was loud and he spread his legs, scooting forward to give Jake access to him. He circled his finger over the tight hole to spread the moisture, and began gently pressing into him. Johnny’s breathing turned modulated and Jake could feel him deliberately relaxing around his finger as it slowly sank into the tight, almost painfully hot passage. 

“Fuck  _ me _ , Jake,” Johnny moaned, moving on his finger. “More. More, I want you in me, want to be in you, I don’t care, just wanna fuck you, baby,  _ please _ …”

Jake pressed another finger against him, waiting until he felt the give against it to slide it in, moving with the undulations of Johnny’s muscles. The other boy lifted his hips off the bed, rocking himself on Jake’s hand to take him in, biotics flaring softly over his skin and his dick leaking salty fluid into Jake’s mouth. Jake took him deeper and pressed his fingers into him as deep as he could before beginning to move his hand. 

Feeling something smooth and different from the rest of him, he circled it with his fingers, exploring it as Johnny’s moans turned into keening wails and he bowed up off the bed, all but his curled toes coming off the floor. Jake stroked the spot and Johnny shouted his name, spurting his release into Jake’s mouth, that tight heat clenching around him like a vise. Jake held his hand still, sucking him gently, until he relaxed enough for him to start easing his fingers out. 

He drew off of him and rested a hand on his thigh, looking up at him as he trembled, a blue corona swirling over his skin. “Good, baby?” he asked.

Before Johnny could answer, the door slammed open and Mat gaped at them, her colorless eyes traveling from one boy to the other before narrowing on them. “Out, demon!” she shrieked before grabbing clothes at random and throwing them at Johnny, screaming at him in Russian, her words so fast and clipped that even Jake struggled to understand her. 

Johnny bolted upright, grabbing for the clothes, his face pale. Jake moved between them to shield him from her rage. “It’s my fault! It’s not him! Let him go!”

“Get that demon spawn out of my house!” she screamed as Johnny scrambled to pull his jeans on and shove his feet into his shoes. “He has corrupted you! Led you into sin! Turned you into a filthy whore! I will kill him!” 

“No! Mat!” His head snapped to the side as she slapped him across the face, but he kept himself between her and Johnny, turning and waving the other boy toward the door. He’d think about the humiliation of this moment later. For now, he had to get Johnny away from her. “Don’t hurt him! If you touch him, Mr. Shepard will fire you!” 

“Jake! Come with me!” Johnny pleaded, wrapping a hand around his arm and shoving a balled up pair of jeans against his chest. Jake wasn’t sure whose they were. “You don’t have to take this. You’re bigger than she is. Let’s just go.”

“Go home, Johnny,” he said as Mat grabbed a book off his shelf and brought it down on Johnny’s wrist. “ _ Nyet! Mat! Nyet! _ Johnny, just go!”

Johnny jerked his hand back and glared at Anya before looking at Jake again, clearly torn. “I’ll get Maxine,” he said, running out the door. 

Anya bent down and scooped one of his shoes off the floor, bringing it up across his face in a flurry of hard blows that had him scrabbling back, tripping over the corner of his bed and knocking his computer chair over. Lightning raced under his skin and her eyes widened. She redoubled her efforts, hitting harder. His nose popped and blood gushed down his face.

“Stop!” he shouted, the words muffled. “Mat! Stop!”

“You devil! You have taken the devil in you and now you are as much a freak as those evil children!” she shouted, raking a hand over his desk and sending his terminal and holo piano flying. The terminal cracked. She raised her foot and brought her heel down on the piano, punctuating each kick with a curse. 

“No!” Jake pushed up off his ass and barreled into her, catching her around the middle and shoving her back against the wall. 

She brought her elbows down on the back of his neck, her knee coming up to ram into his belly and her fist slamming into his eye. “I sacrificed  _ everything _ for you! And this is your gratitude? You will never see that boy again! Ungrateful shit!”

She reached for his bat and he gaped at her for long enough that she managed to swing. He ducked and felt the breeze from it stir his hair. She was going to kill him! He turned and ran, leaping over the coffee table and edging around one of the dining room chairs before bolting out the front door without bothering to shut it behind him. He breathed a small sigh of relief when his bare feet hit the road. She couldn’t catch him now. 

He ran, ignoring the rocks biting into his feet and the odd stares he got from people he passed, until a truck skidded to a stop in front of him and Johnny leapt out of the passenger side. Thomas grabbed a blanket from the backseat and hurried after his son, who’d wrapped his arms around Jake and was kissing all over his hair. 

“I’m sorry,” Johnny said. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

Only when the blanket settled onto his shoulders and Thomas and Johnny tucked it around him did he realize that he was still gripping the jeans in his hand and had been running down the street as naked as the day he was born. He looked between Thomas and Johnny and swiped a hand under his nose, wincing when it brought a fresh stab of pain and rush of blood over his thumb. 

“Come on, Jake,” Thomas said gently. “We’ll take you to our house and figure out what to do.”

“Please don’t fire her,” he begged, suddenly afraid again. If Thomas fired Mat, he didn’t know what would happen to him. How would they eat? Where would they live? “It was an accident. It won’t happen again. I’m sorry, Johnny. I shouldn’t have counted on her not coming home.”

Johnny wrapped an arm around Jake’s shoulder and guided him to the truck, climbing in beside him and holding him close. Jake leaned against him but kept his head down, unable to meet the other boy’s eyes. 

“How many times has she done this?” Johnny asked. “All those times when you said you fell off the roof or tripped down the stairs? It’s always seemed weird. You’re so graceful everywhere else. But I never thought your mom was hurting you.”

“I should have,” Thomas said. “Anya has always been strange. I chalked it up to cultural differences, but I should have looked more closely.”

“Please don’t fire her,” Jake muttered into Johnny’s shoulder. “She’ll go back to Earth, and I don’t wanna go to Earth.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Jake,” Thomas assured him, pulling the truck into the drive. “We’ll take care of it.”

Johnny led him into the house where Hannah was waiting with a first aid kit and a concerned look on her face. Jake went into the bathroom to pull on the jeans, which turned out to be Johnny’s, and wash the blood from his face and chest. When he returned, Hannah called him into the kitchen. He reached for Johnny. The other boy stood behind him with his arms around him and his chin resting on Jake’s shoulder. Hannah put an ice pack on Jake’s nose and began dabbing medigel onto his cuts. 

“This can’t stand, Tommy,” she said. 

“We’ll talk about it later,” Thomas told her. “Jake, you’ll stay here tonight.”

When Hannah was satisfied that Jake was sufficiently patched up, she and Thomas went upstairs. Johnny took him over to the couch and cupped Jake’s face in his hands, kissing him softly. His clear, gray-blue eyes took in every mark on him, darkening until he was scowling, but his hands remained gentle. 

“Are you okay?” Jake asked. “Your wrist?”

“I’m fine. Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked softly. 

“I was embarrassed,” Jake admitted. “And nobody can do anything about it anyway.”

“Were you scared?” he asked. “When your mom came in, I mean?”

“Yeah,” he said.

Johnny wrapped his arms around Jake again, pressing their foreheads together. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you. I’m sorry I ran.” His fingers ghosted over a bruise on Jake’s cheek. “I should have gotten her off of you. I just...didn’t know what to do.”

“She’s a grownup, and a girl,” Jake said. “What could you do? You’d have just gotten in trouble.”

“Would have been worth it,” Johnny said. “Next time, I won’t run.”

“Can we just not talk about it?” Jake asked. 

“Sure,” Johnny said, running his fingers through Jake’s hair. “Whatever you need, baby.”

“Do you think your dad’s going to fire my mom?” he asked. 

“I think you just need to trust him, okay?” Johnny said. “He’s a good dad and he likes you. He’s not going to do anything that will get you sent to Earth.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

A knock on the front door brought Jake’s head up from his attempts to fix his holo piano. Anya was at work. Thomas hadn’t fired her. Yet, at least. He’d had to come home after school because his mother had threatened to call the police on Johnny’s family if he stayed another night. He doubted she would actually do that, but he didn’t want to risk the Shepards getting in trouble because of him. 

He hadn’t seen her since she’d attacked him, and he’d made sure to eat before she arrived home in case she refused to feed him. He could always go over to the Shepards or Dustin or Ronnie’s if he needed to eat, so he wouldn’t starve, but he’d take his meals where he could get them. He wouldn’t put it past her to exile him to the shed out back with Katya.

The knock sounded again, so he went to the door and opened it. A man and a woman in matching suits stood on the step. The woman said, “Yakov Pryczmatrivet?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said slowly, looking them up and down. He’d never seen them before, which was saying something in a settlement as close-knit as Felicity.

“My name is Sandra Ruiz and this is Bob Ronaldson. We’re with Colonial Family Services,” the woman said. “Is your mother home?”

“No, ma’am,” he said, his blood running cold. 

Colonial Family Services were the ones who decided if a family wasn’t fit for colony life and removed kids from their parents if the parents weren’t taking good enough care of them. It had never happened in Felicity, but he’d heard rumors from other settlements. They were here to make him go to Earth.

“Good,” she said. “May we come in?”

They didn’t wait for an answer, walking inside before he could close the door in their faces. He backed away, staring at them like a pair of cobras had just slithered into his house. They looked around the kitchen and the man began opening cabinets and the cooler. He pulled a bottle of vodka from the freezer and held it up to the woman. She shook her head and turned back to Jake.

“We received a report of ongoing child abuse against you,” she said. “I’ve reviewed your medical records and the department has determined that the report has merit. We’ve been authorized to remove you from this dwelling pending a hearing. Please go pack a bag to take with you.”

“I’m not going with you,” he said. “How do I know you’re even telling the truth? I don’t know you.”

The man came over and held out his omni-tool on which he’d pulled up an official looking court order. Jake read it, chewing his lip and wondering if he could get past them and run again. The order didn’t say where they were going to go. Felicity didn’t have an orphanage, and he couldn’t imagine many people would want to take in a biotic. The Shepards already had three teenage kids and he knew they struggled, too. 

“Where are you taking me?” 

“Somewhere safe,” the man said. 

Fear churned in his gut as he went to his bedroom and began stuffing clothes into a duffel bag. He wrapped the remains of his piano into a towel and stuffed his broken computer into the side pocket with it. He couldn’t imagine leaving his baseball stuff, so he shoved his uniform, glove, and cleats into his bat bag. The woman was standing in the doorway tapping her foot, so he gave the room a last once-over before following her out on dragging feet. 

Would he ever see his room again? Would he see Mindoir? Were they going to take him somewhere where the sky was a weird blue? Would he ever see  _ Johnny _ again? His chin trembled as he let himself be herded into a black skycar and clutched his bag to his chest. Damn Mat. And damn Mrs. Shepard for interfering. They should have just left well enough alone. He’d have been fine. Now, his whole world was falling apart, and nothing would ever be okay again. 

His face was buried in his bag, so he didn’t see where they landed until the roof lifted and the door opened. He looked up, sniffing back tears and determined to be brave, and his heart skipped a beat at the sight of Johnny leaning against the porch rail and staring anxiously at the car. Forgetting his bags, he jumped out and ran for the other boy. 

“They’re taking me away,” he said frantically, clinging to him. “They’re gonna take me away and I’m never gonna see you again and I don’t wanna go!”

“Easy, baby,” Johnny soothed, hugging him tight. “They’re bringing you  _ here _ , not taking you away. Mom and Dad said you can stay with us. Nobody’s taking you away. I promise.” 

“Here?” Jake asked wetly, looking up at him through blurry eyes. 

“Yeah, Jakey-baby. You’re going to stay here with us,” Johnny said as the woman came up with his bags in hand.

“Did no one tell you?” Hannah asked, appearing beside them. “Of course we couldn’t let you get taken away. You’ll stay with us for as long as you want, sweetheart. Was this all you wanted to bring?”

“We wanted to avoid a scene,” Ruiz said. “I’m afraid we had to move quickly. He’ll be allowed to return later to get the rest if he wants it. I’m almost certain the judge will decide to permanently remove him from the home, and he has no other family. Once the dependency hearing is complete, he’ll available for adoption to a family here or on Earth. Given the stigma of his biotics, I’m afraid he may end up fostered here until he reaches majority.”

“You make him sound like a dog,” Hannah admonished. 

“I don’t wanna go to Earth,” he said against Johnny’s chest.

“If you’re removed from Anya, we’ll adopt you, Jake. You’re not going anywhere,” she said firmly. “Mindoir is your home.”

“I don’t have to break up with him if that happens, do I?” Johnny asked, running his fingers through his hair. “We wouldn’t be related or anything, right?”

“No, you don’t have to break up,” Hannah said. “Why don’t you boys go inside and I’ll talk to Ms. Ruiz.”

* * *

Jake lay tucked against the back of the couch with Johnny creating a solid wall between him and the rest of the room. The other boy’s fingers smoothed through his hair and he murmured things that sometimes made sense and other times were just talking for the sake of it. They had the room to themselves. Jake clung to him, his face buried in his chest. 

Thomas had come home not long after Jake had arrived, and he and Hannah had sat Jake down. They told him that they’d been the ones to call and that they’d requested that Jake stay with them if he had to be taken away from Mat. They were serious about adopting him if they needed to, and they’d assured him a dozen times that he wouldn’t have to go anywhere. He’d still get to go to school and see his friends and stay with Johnny, though he would be sharing a room with Will. 

He hadn’t been able to do more than pick at his dinner, but no one seemed to mind. Johnny had taken what he hadn’t eaten, and Hannah had waved Jake away when he’d tried to help clean up. The family had cleared out soon after, leaving him alone with Johnny. Thomas had said that just this once, they could sleep together on the couch, but had warned them to keep their clothes on. 

Now, the house was quiet and Jake was trembling in his boyfriend’s arms as the events of the last two days fully sank in. He was torn, on the one hand, glad that he got to stay with Johnny and hesitantly excited about staying with the Shepards. On the other, while he certainly didn’t have the best relationship with her, Mat was his mother. He’d never lived anywhere but with her. Being forcibly removed from his home by a pair of strangers had scared him, and now he feared that they would return and say that they’d been wrong and he had to go to Earth anyway. 

“It’s okay, Jakey,” Johnny soothed when he said as much. “Nobody’s going to take you away.”

“What if they do, though?” he asked.

Warm lips pressed against his temple. “Then we’ll run away and get married. We’re sixteen now. We don’t need our parents’ permission. No one is taking you anywhere you don’t want to go, Jake.”

“You’re full of shit,” Jake muttered, hugging him anyway. 

“Am not.”

“Right. Gonna marry me at sixteen,” Jake sniffed, rolling his eyes, though he knew Johnny couldn’t see it. 

“If it means keeping you here, yeah,” Johnny said matter-of-factly. He tipped Jake’s face up, his gray-green eyes crinkling at the corners with a soft smile. “I love you, Jacob, and I know you love me. That means we take care of each other. No matter what.”

Jake’s chin trembled and he buried his face in Johnny’s neck. “I do love you. So fucking much.”

Johnny’s hands roamed over his back, sliding under his shirt to trace up his spine. “Forever, Jakey-baby,” he whispered. 

“Forever,” Jake said hoarsely, looking up at him again and pressing his lips to Johnny’s. 

Johnny groaned and slipped a thigh between his legs, sliding a hand down to gently cup his ass. He held their hips together, his other hand cradling Jake’s cheek as he kissed him with a tenderness Jake hadn’t thought a teenage boy could be capable of. His lips parted on a sigh and he melted into the other boy, his tension draining in the protective embrace. 

No one had ever loved him like Johnny Shepard. He had no doubt that Johnny would do what he said, or would at least try his best. Jake’s heart felt full to bursting. He swore to himself that there was nothing he wouldn’t do for this boy. He wanted to tell him, but the words that came to him felt clumsy and awkward. He could show him, though. 

Jake reached back and took Johnny’s hand, guiding it into the soft flannel pajama pants Johnny had let him borrow and under his boxers. Johnny groaned deep in his chest, deepening the kiss but no more demanding than he’d been. His hand stroked gently over Jake’s bare skin, testing the muscle, his fingertips tracing lightly between Jake’s cheeks. Jake inhaled shakily, butterflies taking flight in his belly, but rocked his straining length against Johnny’s.

“I want you,” he whispered. 

“Like we’d talked about?” Johnny whispered back, eyes searching his. 

“However you like best,” he said, his tummy flipping.

Johnny ran his fingers through Jake’s hair and lightly circled one around his entrance, pressing gently. “Are you sure, baby? You’re really tight and the first time can be...kinda uncomfortable.”

“I trust you,” Jake breathed, dragging his lower lip between his teeth and pressing back against Johnny’s finger.

Johnny’s pupils dilated until the gray was just a thin silver ring around the dark center. “Think you can be quiet enough? They’re all upstairs, but they’ll hear you if you’re loud.”

“I’ll be quiet,” he promised. 

“Fuck, baby,” Johnny sighed, nuzzling him. He released Jake and stood. “I’d tell you to take your pants off and get ready for me, but we did promise to keep clothes on, so just lose the shirt,” he said with a wink. “I’ll be right back.”

Jake watched him jog lightly up the stairs, taking them two and three at a time, and slipped a hand down his pants, wrapping it around himself and stroking to keep it hard before remembering how quickly he’d finished the day before. He pulled his hand out of his pants and tugged his shirt off, draping it over the arm of the couch.

Johnny reappeared with a bottle and a pair of pillows in hand, his shirt likewise missing. He motioned for Jake to get up and passed him the pillows and the bottle of lube before setting the couch cushions aside and pulling out the hideaway bed, which already had sheets and a blanket on it. Jake put the pillows at the head of the bed and passed the lube back to Johnny, heat crawling up the back of his neck. 

“If you get scared or it’s too much, we’ll stop,” Johnny said quietly, drawing back the covers and climbing into bed. He patted the spot beside him. “And we can always trade places if you don’t like it.”

“Okay,” Jake whispered, climbing in beside him. 

Johnny leaned over and kissed him again, just as tenderly as before but this time with a hunger beneath it that took Jake’s breath away. Johnny laid him back on the bed, saying nothing to boss him around but fully in control all the same, and slipped his tongue between Jake’s lips. After pouring the lube onto his fingers, he slid his hand into Jake’s pants again and trailed them up his cleft. His touch was light and undemanding but not as cautious as it had been before. Jake gasped and wrapped a leg around his trim waist, reminding himself that this was Johnny and Johnny wouldn’t ever hurt him. 

“Don’t be scared, baby,” Johnny murmured against his lips. “I’ll take care of you.” 

“I know,” he said, sliding his hands up Johnny’s muscular torso. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Johnny said, kissing down his neck and stroking a finger over him. “I’ve wanted you for so long. I’ve dreamed of fucking you so many times.” 

Jake moaned softly, hitching his leg up on Johnny’s hip to open himself more. He slid a hand down the ridges of Johnny’s belly and into his pants. The other boy groaned, thrusting into his hand with a shaky exhale. 

Johnny’s fingertip slipped into him and Jake bit down on his shoulder. “Ohh god, that feels...good,” he whimpered, rocking his hips and feeling more of the pressure that had his breath catching. “Really fucking good.” Johnny’s knuckle slid into him and Jake bit down again to stifle his moans.

“You like the stretch, huh?” Johnny chuckled softly, his finger sinking a little deeper with each stroke. 

“Yes,” Jake whined, his hips moving with the other boy’s hand, his own forgotten on Johnny’s thick length. He needed this more than he’d ever realized. “Fuck me, Johnny. I’m good. I’m ready.”

Another chuckle and Johnny shook his head, thrusting shallowly into Jake’s hand again. “Not even close, sweetheart,” he said gently, but pressed his finger fully into him and withdrew, fitting a second against him and pushing lightly. “Let’s see if you can take two before we jump straight from virgin to my dick buried in your ass.” 

A deep groan accompanied the words and a bead of moisture formed on the tip of Johnny’s dick. Jake smoothed it down his length, shifting his hand to cup Johnny’s balls and gently stroke them. Johnny groaned again, his fingers sinking to the first knuckle and withdrawing before pressing in again. Jake mewled against his shoulder, savoring the slow stretch. The sensation bordered on pain, but every time it started to approach that level or Jake found himself tensing, Johnny backed off and soothed him. 

“You’ve got the patience of a fucking saint,” Jake gasped when Johnny eased a third finger into him and pulled back again. 

The other boy’s desperation showed in his leaking dick and the shallow jerks of his hips, the raggedness of his breathing and the soft sounds coming from his chest. But his touch remained steady and gentle, letting Jake’s body set the pace. 

“If I rush and hurt you, I don’t get to fuck you,” Johnny said candidly. “And if I don’t get to fuck you tonight, I think I’m probably gonna die. Promised I’d take care of you, right?”

“More,” Jake sighed, pushing back onto his fingers with his head back and his dick aching. 

Johnny wasn’t touching it yet, probably not wanting him to go yet, but each rock of Jake’s hips rubbed him against the other boy’s belly. Johnny groaned and crossed his fingers inside him, his hand twisting as he stroked in and out, burying them deep and drawing them apart to stretch him further before withdrawing and thrusting in again. 

“ _ God _ , fuck me, Johnny,” he repeated, desperation overtaking him. He pulled back from Johnny and rolled onto his belly, drawing his knees forward and tilting his ass up for him. “I’m ready. Need you. Take me.”

Johnny’s patience reached its end and Jake heard the pop of the bottle and a squirt as the other boy coated himself with the lube. It dropped onto the bed beside him and Johnny settled behind him, lining himself up with Jake’s entrance and pressing the head into him. Jake gasped and moaned sharply into the pillow at the sensation. It was bigger than his fingers had been, more than he’d realized, but then Johnny was kissing the back of his neck and telling him how good he felt and wrapping his hand around Jake’s length and drawing his foreskin back and Jake felt the crown slip into him. 

“Good, baby,” Johnny murmured against his ear in a strained voice. “It’s all easy from here. Tell me when you’re okay for me to move.”

Jake took a series of deep breaths that turned into a guttural moan against the pillow when Johnny’s thumb slipped beneath his foreskin to circle his sensitive tip. His hips rocked back, taking another inch, and Johnny’s fist began pumping slowly, using his own skin to stroke him. Jake’s head fell back against Johnny’s shoulder, his lips parted and Johnny’s name a series of ragged breaths as he moved on him. His thighs trembled and his eyes rolled back. 

The only thoughts in his head were that Johnny Shepard was fucking him, Johnny’s dick was inside him, Johnny was taking him and the bed was squeaking softly and he couldn’t bring himself to care that they might get caught except that it meant that they would have to stop and he never, ever wanted to stop. 

“God, you’re so good,” Johnny breathed against his ear. He trembled with the effort to stay still and let Jake take him in. He babbled almost incoherently, “You’re a natural, baby, so good at this, take me, Jakey, take all of me. Wanna fuck you so good, baby.”

Jake sank fully onto him, Johnny’s hips against his ass, their balls bumping against each other. Johnny held for another breath and then groaned against his skin before withdrawing to the tip and slowly pushing into him again. When Jake moaned and dropped his head, Johnny’s control snapped. He braced a hand on the back of the couch and began thrusting into him fast and hard, his breaths coming in harsh groans and his biotics wreathing them and calling Jake’s to the surface. 

Jake could do nothing but writhe beneath him, lost to sensation as Johnny claimed his ass, his hand almost clumsy on Jake’s dripping length. Jake reached up and covered Johnny’s other hand with his own and the boy’s fingers linked with his and gripped hard. Teeth closed on his shoulder, their quiet moans growing desperate and their balls no longer touching as they drew up against their bodies. Johnny shifted his angle and stroked over a spot that made stars explode behind his eyes.

“Oh, fuck! I’m gonna come,” Jake gasped, spurting over Johnny’s hand, his passage tightening around Johnny’s dick. 

Johnny bit down hard on his shoulder and snapped his hips against Jake’s ass, burying himself with a moan that Jake felt more than heard. His hand stroked him twice more and released him just as he thought he might scream from an almost painful overload of sensation. Johnny’s arm wrapped around his waist and his sweaty forehead came to rest against Jake’s back. They lay there like that for long moments, fighting to catch their breath. 

“Holy fuck,” Johnny finally breathed. “You sure you were a virgin?”

“Uh huh,” Jake panted, grinding back on him. 

It was too much and Johnny’s sharp gasp told him the other boy agreed, so he carefully pulled off of him. Johnny’s arms wrapped around him and he rolled them onto their sides, clumsily pulling their pants up most of the way and dropping a lazy kiss against the back of his neck. 

“Fuck, that was good,” Johnny sighed. 

“I love you,” Jake whispered, suddenly shy and uncertain.

“Love you, too,” Johnny whispered back, hugging him tightly. “Think you can sleep now?”

“Yeah,” Jake yawned. 

“We’re gonna need to wash the sheets,” Johnny chuckled against his back, shifting to drape a thigh over his waist and shoving the lube bottle under the pillow. “You liked it, too, right?”

“Mmmm _ hm _ ,” Jake agreed, shifting to face him and cuddling against his chest with his arm over Johnny’s waist. “You took good care of me.”

“Told ya,” Johnny said sleepily. 

“Wish we could share a room and do this every night,” Jake murmured against his chest.

“Mmmm. Me, too,” he said. “Never slept with anybody after. This is nice. Warm.” 

A soft snore drifted from him, and Jake grinned against his skin, his eyes drifting closed. Maybe getting taken from Mat wasn’t such a bad thing. He’d get to see Johnny every day, and they could do this when they were alone. And maybe someday, they’d get married because they wanted to, not because they had to.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

“You ever ridden a horse?” Johnny asked.

“No,” Jake said. “Why?”

“Will and Maxine are going over to the McAlister’s to see our horses. Wanna go?” Johnny asked. 

“Sure,” Jake shrugged. “Why not? I wanna see Katya anyway.” The Shepards and McAlister’s shared a barn and pasture land. They’d let him bring the goat with him, and she’d settled back into the barn she was born in. 

“Sweet. Come on, then.” Johnny dug around in his closet and tossed a pair of boots toward Jake. 

He caught them and tugged them on before following Johnny and his siblings down the stairs and out the back door. The barn was to the left of the Shepards’ house, near the road betwen the two properties. The rest of the land stretched out behind both houses and gave the Shepards a view of green terraformed pastures and dusty fields dotted with round bales of hay for the cows and horses. 

They climbed the fence and ran across the drive to the barn where Lochlan and Erin were already waiting. Will instantly forgot they were there and Maxine and Lochlan started shoving each other in surreptitious flirting that fooled no one. Johnny just rolled his eyes and took Jake’s hand. Jake tugged him over to the wide stall where a very pregnant Katya was sticking her head between the planks and bleating at him. 

He opened the gate and went in, crouching down and scratching behind her floppy black ear. She affectionately headbutted him and bleated again before laying down beside him and resting her head on his knee. 

“Hey, girl,” he said with a grin. “Missed you, too.” 

“Doesn’t that hurt?” Johnny asked. “I mean, her horns are little, but she’s still got ‘em.”

“Nah,” he said, running a thumb over the smooth, warm surface of one. “Not unless she gets you hard, and even then, it’s just an unpleasant poke. I taught her to ram Mat, though. She’d leave little bruises on her legs any time Mat came into her pen,” he laughed. “She threatened to get rid of her, but she liked the milk too much, so she just quit going in.”

Johnny reached out and ran a hand over her distended belly, chuckling when the kid moved under his hand. “She’s about ready to pop, isn’t she?”

“Another week, I think,” Jake said. 

They finished petting Katya and went to a stall with a massive red horse hanging its head out the door. “This is Jack,” Johnny said. “He’s a Clydesdale. I usually ride him because he’s really calm and I don’t ride as much as the others. I think if we don’t use a saddle, we can probably ride double. Hey, Loch! Can Jack hold both of us?”

Lochlan stopped flirting with Maxine long enough to look over at them, bright green eyes traveling up and down both of them. “Yeah, if you go bareback and walk. Short ride, though. It’s hard on his back even as big as he is.”

Johnny nodded and took a halter off of a peg beside the wall and slipped it over the horse’s head before using it to lead him out of the stall. Jake followed them, careful to stay out of the range of its dinner-plate sized hooves and grabbed a brush out of the bin next to the tack room to help Johnny get the dust off of it.

Johnny grinned at him over the horse’s back and cut his eyes to Will and Erin. “He’ll sneak out tonight for sure,” he said with relish. 

“And then I’ll sneak in,” Jake chuckled.

“Exactly,” Johnny said.

Will had turned out to be a not bad roommate. He didn’t rat Jake out when he slipped out of the room to visit Johnny in the middle of the night, and Jake kept his mouth shut when Will went out the window to meet Erin in the barn after everyone else was asleep. They’d even started to become friends. The week before, Will had told him to have fun before dropping down from the windowsill onto the grass below. 

“Where d’you want to do it?” Jake asked.

Sometimes, Jake would just go to Johnny’s room. Other times, they’d go out back to the tree house Thomas had built for the kids when they’d been young and no one used anymore. They’d squirreled away a bottle of lube, a sleeping bag, and a box of condoms they usually didn’t bother to use even though Maxine kept reminding them to wrap it. 

They had gotten tested at the clinic after their first time just to be sure—which had gotten them both a lecture from the nurse about not having gotten it done _ before _ instead of after—and they were clean, neither of them were fucking anyone else, and they couldn’t have kids. They were ‘fluid-bonded’, as the nurse had called it. It sounded like a very adult thing to be, even if all it meant in their case was that they were only fucking each other. 

The only problem with the treehouse was that they couldn’t risk falling asleep there because Will hated climbing trees, even one as easy as theirs, so he wouldn’t come up to the tree house to let them know he was back. They’d almost gotten caught sneaking back in one morning when they’d fallen asleep and the sun coming through the windows had woken them but not before Thomas had gotten up. They’d caught a glimpse of him walking around in the kitchen and had to climb up and go through Will’s bedroom window. They’d made sure to set an alarm the next time. In Johnny’s room, they could go to sleep because Will would knock and wake them up. 

Johnny shot him a wicked grin. “The back forty to start and then in my bed. That way you can be loud today and we can sleep tonight till Will gets back in.” 

Jake’s eyes widened and he stepped closer to the horse to shield his suddenly too-tight jeans from view of the others. “You’re an ass,” he hissed. 

“It’s _your_ ass I’m interested in,” Johnny whispered. 

“Not without lube, it’s not,” Jake said haughtily, trying to hide the tinge of regret.

“Who says we don’t have any?” Johnny asked, bobbing his eyebrows. “I stole a packet from Maxine’s room. She never fucks Loch at home, so she keeps pouches of it she can put in her pocket with a condom. She won’t miss one. Probably.”

“Okay, then,” Jake said. “What are we doing with the horse while we’re busy?”

“They ground tie,” he said. “Just drop the reins on the ground and Jack’ll stay where you put him all day.”

“Alright,” Jake grinned. “Let’s go, then.”

“Somebody’s eager,” Johnny winked.

He came around and made a cup with his hands for Jake to step into and swing his leg up over the horse’s back, then had Jake turn his boot out and brace so he could get on behind him. The horse shifted under them but settled quickly and Johnny nudged him forward. Loch and Maxine were climbing up into the hay loft and Will and Erin had saddled a pair of horses and were leading them to the arena next to the barn, so Johnny directed Jack toward the back pastures. 

The sun shone down on them, orange in the pale pink sky, and birds cawed overhead. The horse was warm and solid under his thighs and Johnny moving in easy rhythm against his ass with its walk was more than pleasant. A cool breeze blew across the dusty pastures, evaporating the sweat on his brow. Johnny’s arms were around him so that the other boy could hold the reins and direct the horse. Jake leaned back against his chest with his hands in the horse’s mane and was rewarded with a playful nibble against his neck. 

“You do this a lot?” he asked.

“Not really,” Johnny said. “Will’s more into it than me. Maxine doesn’t like the horses so much as hanging out in the hay loft with Loch. Every once in awhile, I’ll get in the mood to come out and ride around, but it’s usually when it’s hot and I want to swim in the pond.”

“I like it, I think,” he said as they topped a rise and headed down toward a flat spot with a pond and a narrow ring of grass around it.

“We’ll do it more, then,” Johnny said, stopping near the pond and sliding off. 

He held a hand up for Jake and he did the same. Johnny dropped the reins on the ground and the horse lowered its head and began picking at the grass. A moment later, a pair of strong arms came around Jake and Johnny was kissing him hard and hungry. Jake wrapped his arms around Johnny’s neck and the other boy lifted him up and carried him over to a flat spot shaded by a curved rock. Johnny lowered him onto the soft grass without breaking the kiss, his hands kneading his ass and his hardened length rocking against him through their jeans. 

“I’m gonna fuck you hard and fast,” Johnny growled in his ear, roughly popping the buttons on his jeans and stripping them down his thighs. 

“Ohh fuck yes,” Jake moaned.

Johnny drew back and unfastened his own pants, lowering them enough to expose himself, but when Jake would have leaned in and taken him in his mouth, Johnny grabbed him by the hips and flipped him over, ripping the lube packet open and spreading some on his fingers before sliding two fully into him. Jake’s back arched and he couldn’t bite back a shocked, ecstatic moan. The horse startled but remained where he was and Jake forgot him completely when Johnny crossed his fingers and started that twisting stroke that never failed to leave Jake a shaking mess with precum drizzling from his dick. 

“You’re such a size queen,” Johnny teased, adding a third finger. “I think I could almost fuck you without prep if you were turned on enough.”

“Ohh, god, John_ny _…” The idea of his boyfriend bending him over and just taking him had him loosening enough that Johnny pulled his fingers out and began thrusting into him inch by hungry inch. 

“You like dirty talk, huh?” Johnny asked, mischief in his voice. They usually had to be so careful that they hadn’t gotten much of a chance to experiment in many ways, and when they were in the treehouse, Johnny just wanted to hear him moan. “You like hearing how I fantasize about having the house to ourselves and bending you over my desk, pulling your pants down, and just pushing into you? How much I love how easily you take me, how it feels when you give around me, like you’re just waiting for my dick up your ass?”

“Holy shit, Johnny,” he groaned, dropping his head and biting down on his forearm. 

Johnny smacked his ass with an open palm. “I want to hear you, baby. Don’t muffle it.”

Jake jolted at the slap, looking over his shoulder at the boy, his eyes wide. Johnny had a wicked grin on his face, but his eyes were careful on him, as if he wasn’t completely certain he hadn’t just fucked up. Jake swallowed hard, wetting his lips with his tongue, and nodded. 

“Okay,” he said softly. 

Relief flashed across Johnny’s face before the leer returned and he dragged his lip between his teeth while pulling out completely. “Like this. I’d bend you over and rub myself on you…” He took himself in hand and circled his tip against Jake’s entrance. “And then I’d slide just the tip in…” He put word to action and Jake moaned loudly, trying to push back onto him, but a hand on his lower back held him in place. “And then I’d just..._ fuck _ you.” 

Johnny’s hips thrust forward and Jake was certain that the others would be able to hear him all the way up by the barn. His hands fisted in the silver grass, his sharp moans coming with every snap of the other boy’s hips. Johnny drove into him, rocking him forward with each thrust, his hand on Jake’s length matching their motion. Heat pooled in Jake’s belly. 

Johnny’s guttural moans twined with his, coherent thought leaving them. He thrust hard against his spot, forcing Jake’s orgasm from him in a rush of heat. Johnny’s name tore from his throat, his muscles giving out. Johnny snarled and buried himself, pulsing into him with hot, open-mouthed kisses against the side of his neck. 

“God, I love fucking you,” he groaned. “Your ass is my favorite thing in the world.”

“Mmmm. You romantic, you,” Jake said on a buzzed sigh, giving him a sated smile over his shoulder. “Sure know how to sweet talk a guy.”

Johnny snickered and gently grazed his teeth over Jake’s earlobe, sucking on it for a moment. “You’re perfect and I love you. Better?”

“Mmhm. Either one works, though, ‘cause your dick’s my favorite thing,” Jake said, sighing as Johnny pulled out and plopped onto the grass next to him and nibbling at his lip. 

“We should probably get back soon,” Johnny said, stroking a hand over Jake’s hair. 

“Mmkay,” Jake said against his lips. “If you insist.”

“I’ll get you again tonight,” he promised.


	12. Chapter 12

“Jake,” Hannah bustled into the living room where Jake sat at the piano, his fingers flowing over the keys. He stopped and looked up at her. “Thomas and I need to go to New Paris. Maxine is next door, Will is out with Erin, and you know Johnny’s tutoring this afternoon. I didn’t have time to put the laundry into the dryer. Could you get it for me?”

“_Da, mem_,” he said.

“You don’t have to do that,” she reminded him. “‘Ma’am’ makes me feel old.”

“Okay,” he said. “What’s in New Paris, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Your final hearing,” she said gently. 

“They don’t need me there?” he asked.

“No,” she said. “They have your testimony from before. You don’t need to go through that again. We’re going on your behalf.”

His hands dropped to his lap. “Do you think they’ll make me go back?”

She perched on the end of the bench beside him and cocked her head. “Do you want to?”

He shook his head, drifting his fingers over the keys again without pressing them. “No,” he said softly. “Not unless you don’t want me here anymore.”

“We meant it when we said we want to adopt you if we’re able, Jake,” she said with a soft smile. “We love you, sweetie. You’re a good kid and we’re very glad that you’ve chosen Johnny. You two are happy together. There’s no doubt about that. And Thomas and I like having you around. Will enjoys having you as a roommate. And I overheard Maxine telling someone the other day that she has three little brothers, not just two. You’re family. Now, if you don’t want us to adopt you, say so and we’ll figure something else out. We don’t want to push you.”

Heat crawled up the back of his neck and his lips curled of their own volition. He ducked his head, a happy trill fluttering from the piano. “I want to stay here if you want me.”

“It’s settled, then,” she said with a nod. “Though it’s up to you if you want to change your last name or keep the one you were born with.”

“It means ‘Shepard’,” he told her. “I’ve told her we should Anglicize it because most people can’t say it right anyway. So I’d like to change it, I think.”

“Okay. If you change your mind, that’s alright, too,” she said, shifting so that she was facing the keys. “Will you teach me the song you were playing when I came in?”

He nodded and grinned, looking at her through his lashes, and settled his fingers on the keys. Mat had never even wanted to hear him play, much less asked to learn a song from him. Hannah was everything a mother should be, and it still shocked him that she wanted to be _ his_. Johnny said she never hit any of them, and Jake had yet to even hear her raise her voice. When she was displeased, a look and a firm word were all it took before the kids snapped to and did what they were supposed to do. Otherwise, she was kind and warm and gentle, exactly what he’d dreamed of Mat being when he’d been a small child. 

He gave her a quick explanation of the light keys versus the dark ones and the way the piano was laid out before showing her where to put her fingers and beginning to walk her through the tune. She smiled and laughed at herself when she got it wrong or stumbled over a progression. She didn’t even mind when he teased her; in fact, she seemed to enjoy it. 

They reached the end of the song and applause sounded behind them. Thomas, leaning against the doorway, clapped his hands with a smile on his face. He came forward and drew something out of his back pocket, sitting it on top of the piano in front of Jake. Hannah winked at Thomas, sliding an arm around his waist. Jake shot them a quizzical look before reaching up and picking up the slim black box. At first, it didn’t register what he was seeing, then his chin trembled and his eyes misted.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Thomas said. “Johnny brought it to me and asked me to fix it. I had to replace the casing and most of the parts, but the memory is still from the original.”

“My holo piano,” he said, holding it in his hands and looking up at Johnny’s father. “I thought it was gone. I...thank you. So much.”

“You’re welcome, Jake,” Thomas said. 

“I...I saved up for it for so long and she broke it in _ seconds_. That hurt more than any time she’s ever hit _ me_.” He looked over at Hannah and wiped a tear from his eye. “I don’t ever want to go back.” 

Hannah wrapped her arms around him and Thomas patted his shoulder. “We’re going to make sure you don’t ever have to,” she said warmly. “You live here. You belong here, with us.”

* * *

Jake was so nervous he couldn’t even get into it when Johnny came home early and said that they should take advantage of the empty house. The other boy understood, and he sat with Jake while they waited for Hannah and Thomas to return. The vid screen provided background noise and a slight distraction, but it wasn’t enough to keep Jake from jumping when the door opened and Will came in. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Jake,” his roommate said. “They’re not going to send you back to that place. Don’t worry.” 

“Easier said than done,” Jake said with a shrug, leaning further into Johnny’s arms. 

“I’m sure,” Will said. “Everybody’s on your side, though. Don’t forget that.”

Jake nodded and Will disappeared upstairs. Johnny nuzzled behind his ear and ran his fingers up and down his arm but didn’t comment. He turned on Blasto until Jake raised a brow at him and scowled at the vid screen. The big, stupid jellyfish got on his nerves at the best of times. When he was already on edge, it was too much. 

The door slammed and Maxine sauntered in, looking between them. “You two should be fucking,” she said, popping a cookie into her mouth. “Mom and Dad aren’t home. Why’re you down here?”

“Jake’s nervous,” Johnny said. 

“Sex is a great distraction,” Maxine said with a smirk. “Trust me.”

“Ew,” Johnny said, throwing a pillow at his sister. “TMI.”

Maxine caught it and tossed it back at him. “I share a wall with you, remember? I hear you two go at it way too often for ‘TMI’ to be a valid argument. I know which one of you tops, and that’s way more than I ever wanted to know about you, little bros. Oh well. At least I don’t have to listen to it today.”

Half an hour later, the slam of car doors from outside had Jake curling up almost in Johnny’s lap. The other boy tipped his chin up and kissed him softly. “No matter what happened, you’re staying here. Even if we have to run off and elope. Got it?”

“Got it,” Jake whispered. 

The door opened and Jake tucked his head against Johnny’s shoulder, almost too afraid to look at them and potentially see the bad news on their faces. What if he and Johnny couldn’t get married for some reason? What if they had to? They were only sixteen. It was legal, sure, but that didn’t mean they were ready or that it was smart. What if— 

“It’s done,” Hannah said. “You’re officially Jake Shepard now.”

“Done?” Jake echoed. “All of it?”

Thomas nodded. “The judge took custody from Anya and asked if anyone present had an interest in taking care of you. We stepped up and told them that we intended to adopt you. There’s a month-long waiting period before it’s officially finalized, but we have legal custody of you pending the completion of the adoption next month, which will happen automatically when the time runs.”

“See?” Johnny said, a wide grin splitting his face. “You’re ours.”

“Welcome home, son,” Thomas said.

* * *

Jake cavorted alongside Johnny, Dustin, and Ronnie as they ran through the McAlister’s farm to the stand where Erin was selling pumpkin and apple cider slushes. In the distance, they could hear the tractor chugging through the Peaveys’ gourd farm behind the McAlister’s. Maxine was driving kids and some parents on a hayride to pick out gourds to decorate for the contest at the end of the festival.

The biggest holiday on Mindoir, Harvest Fest outshone even the ones based around Earth’s Christmas celebrations. Everyone celebrated the end of the harvest, even those who didn’t work the fields, because the harvest meant another successful year on Mindoir. The celebration went on in every settlement across the planet. Businesses closed down. School was let out. Everyone who didn’t have to work and was able to do so came out. 

Different families hosted every year, and this year it was the McAlisters and Peaveys, so the boys had been roped into helping. Jake had spent the morning watching the goats, sheep, cows, pigs, and llamas at the ‘petting zoo’ Erin had set up while she and Will led kids around the arena on horseback. Dustin had been refereeing freestyle rugby matches with pumpkins and Ronnie had come up with a game of t-ball with tiny gourds instead of balls. He was covered in pumpkin seeds, but it had been—in Ronnie’s words—a “smashing success.” Johnny made one of the best buttermilk pies anyone in Felicity had ever tasted, better even than Hannah’s, so he’d been busy winning the bake sale. Now, however, they were free, and that meant they could run around the transformed farm and just have fun. 

They’d all come out the day before and set out straw bales to mark pathways so that people didn’t walk places they shouldn’t and rearrange one of the paddock pens for the competitions later. They’d start with mutton busting where the little kids would ride around on sheep and see who could stay on longer. Then older kids would show off the farm animals they’d been raising throughout the year or the fruits or vegetables they’d grown in their gardens. 

They got their slushes from Erin and began meandering along the pathways they’d created. Jake sipped on the thick, cold concoction that had sounded utterly disgusting when Will had first told him about them but was actually quite tasty and linked fingers with Johnny. The other boy smiled and squeezed. 

They stopped short when a sharp voice snapped, “Yakov.”

He turned as if expecting to see a monster behind him, the blood draining from his face when he looked at his mother. She wouldn’t hurt him in public. Would she? She wouldn’t hurt Johnny, either. She could, however, humiliate him in front of his friends. Why was she even still here? She’d talked about going back to Earth when he was out of her hair. Thomas had fired her. She had nothing keeping her here. If she’d just leave, everything would be perfect. 

Even Reigan had mostly left him alone after Coach had told him that if he even heard a rumor that Reigan was considering being rude to someone on the team, he’d be off of it and that would ruin his chances at the baseball scholarship he was counting on. He’d kept to himself and his buddies after that, and he was graduating at the end of the year anyway. Felicity didn’t have a college, so he would be gone. All Jake needed now was for Anya to leave.

“What do you want?” he asked in English. 

“That is no way to speak to your mother,” she replied in Russian. “You go to the Shepards and forget where you come from?”

“Why haven’t you gone back to where you come from?” he asked, his hand tightening on Johnny’s. Johnny activated his omni-tool and squeezed back, but remained quiet. “What do you want? I’m never going back there.”

She stepped so close he could smell the vodka on her breath, sharp and pungent. Her voice pitched low and furious. “You _ ruined _ me, ungrateful shit.”

“_Nyet_,” Johnny said, stepping forward and tugging Jake behind him. “You did that to yourself. You hit your child. What is wrong with you? You are supposed to love and cherish your son, not abuse him. You not doing that is not Jake’s fault. He’s done nothing wrong. It’s something missing in _ you_, Mrs. Pryczmatrivet. You will never touch him again. You will not yell at him again. So unless you’re here to apologize, I think it’s time for you to go home.”

“You were a mistake, Yakov,” she said coldly.

“Your mistake was our blessing,” Hannah said, walking up to them. “Johnny is right. It’s time for you to leave, Anya. Don’t make me get Thomas and Sean McAlister to remove you. Come along, boys.”

Johnny wrapped his arm around Jake with a scowl at Anya and kept his eyes on her as he kissed the top of Jake’s head. 

“Let’s go, baby. She’s a cunt,” he said quietly. 

Jake let him steer him away. It had been such a good day before she’d shown up. He didn’t want the reminder that she was here and he could run into her at any time. He tried to pretend he’d always lived with the Shepards, and he’d gotten better at it. He didn’t need to think about Anya or what it was like living with her. 

“I hate her,” he grumbled. “I hope she dies.”

“No, you don’t,” Hannah said gently, rubbing a hand briskly over his back. 

“Then I wish she’d just go back to Earth and I could pretend she didn’t exist,” he groused.

“That, I can completely understand, Jake. So do I. I’m proud of you, Johnny,” she added, looking over at her son. “That was a very mature thing to say.”

“I got mad. She should’ve just walked away,” Johnny said. “She just came over to ruin his day because she’s mean.”

“She’s angry,” Hannah said. “The notice went out yesterday that the adoption is finalized.” 

“But she never wanted me,” Jake said. “Why does she care now?”

“Because she lost,” Dustin said. “Just like any other bully.”

“Screw her,” Ronnie grumbled. “I never liked her anyway.”

Hannah raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment. She hugged Jake and winked at Johnny before walking away. 

Johnny pulled him past the table where the pie contest had turned to cakes. “Let’s go get some candied apples and then ride the tilt-a-whirl till we get sick.”

“Good idea,” Jake said with a grin. “Race ya there!”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And when the lights start flashing like a photobooth  
And the stars exploding, we’ll be fireproof.  
My youth is yours. Trippin' on skies, sippin' waterfalls.  
My youth is yours. Runaway now and forevermore.  
My youth is yours, a truth so loud you can't ignore  
My youth is yours.  
-“Youth” by Troy Sivan

Jake heard the pop from inside the dugout when Johnny slid into second and collided with the second baseman. It was the second to last game of the playoffs and they were all giving it everything they had. Seeing the color drain out of Johnny’s face made Jake’s stomach sink in more than just worry. 

“Johnny!” Jake bolted out of the dugout and darted across the diamond, sliding up to him on his knees. The other boy lay on his side, clutching his knee, his face pale and drawn in pain. 

Adults raced toward them, coach shouting commands and waving instructions at people. Their teammates ran across the field. The other team’s second baseman babbled apologies. Jake ignored them all.

“I think it’s broken,” Johnny wheezed, looking up at him with wide eyes. “It fucking hurts.”

Jake looked at the distended and bloodied pantleg below Johnny’s hands and back at his boyfriend. It was broken alright. No way was he going to be able to play in the finals. 

“You’re gonna be okay,” he said, shifting so that he could put Johnny’s head in his lap. “You’ll be alright. Just lie still and look at me, okay, _ solnishka _?” 

Coach reached them and knelt down beside them, motioning for the others to stay back. The team medic arrived and waved the ambulance over. Two of the players ran to the double gates and opened them so that the big truck could pull through. In a flurry of activity, Johnny was loaded onto a stretcher and into the ambulance. He wouldn’t let go of Jake’s hand, so Jake climbed in with him and took the seat one of the medics pointed him to, leaning over Johnny and trying to hold his attention as they scanned him with their omni-tools.

“It hurts,” Johnny said faintly. 

“I know, baby,” Jake said, stroking his hair. “Just keep your eyes on me. I’m right here. I got you. I’m not letting you go.”

He didn’t look away from Johnny until they reached the Strasburg hospital, and even then only when they wheeled him away for surgery to fix the bone. Jake went to the waiting room and sat alone until his teammates arrived in a cacophony that was chaotic enough the nurses moved them to a smaller side room to wait for news. Hannah and Thomas ran in an hour later, looking frazzled and pale. Jake rose from his seat between Dustin and Jameson and went to them. 

“What happened?” Hannah asked.

“He slid into second and ran into the baseman,” Jake said. “He was moving really fast and they hit hard and his leg just _ popped _. The doctor said it was a…compound fracture of the...fibia? Tibula? These.” He leaned down and indicated his shin. 

“Tibia and fibula?” Thomas said.

“That!” Jake nodded, feeling stupid for mixing it up. “I was never good at biology. Anyway, they said that he’d need rods and pins put inside, but they might have to put his leg in a cage to let it heal enough to do that? But he’ll be able to walk again and probably can play again next year. And he can go home tomorrow. They should be finishing soon. They said less than two hours and that was almost two hours ago.”

“Oh my god,” Hannah sighed. “The kids have broken bones before. Maxine was in a cast for her arm for two months when she was seven because she decided to try to jump from the roof onto the trampoline. And Will got kicked by a horse and broke his femur, so I suppose it is Johnny’s turn, but can you please try to avoid this particular Shepard tradition, Jacob? I don’t think I can handle another ‘Mrs. Shepard, your son is in the hospital’ call.”

“I’ll do my best,” he said. “You can come sit with us. Move, Dustin. Let Mom sit.”

Hannah’s step hitched and she hugged his shoulders tightly. “That’s the first time you’ve called me ‘mom’,” she said, quickly releasing him and taking the seat as if she was trying not to embarrass him. 

The doctor came out before he could respond and said that Johnny was awake and they could see him. Jake followed Hannah and Thomas through the hallways to Johnny’s room where his boyfriend was lying in a hospital bed with his leg surrounded by black metal rings separated by bars and attached to his leg with pins. The contraption was propped up on a pillow. Johnny looked blearily at them and gave a weak smile.

“Hey,” he said tiredly. “Did we win?”

“Yeah, baby, we won,” Jake said, going to his bedside and taking his hand. “By a single run. I think they might’ve felt sorry for you and handed it to us, though, because there’s no way those chuckleheads pulled that off without us.”

Johnny gave a weak laugh. “Maybe they just needed us out of the way so they could shine.”

“Glad to see you’ve still got your sense of humor,” Jake teased.

“If I’m not jokin’, I’m dyin’,” Johhny said with a grin. “Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.”

* * *

Will winked at Jake as he slipped out of their bedroom window to go meet Erin. Jake shook his head with a grin and went to slide the window mostly shut so that Hannah or Thomas wouldn’t notice it open if they came back. They never had, but it was part of the ruse along with the pillows stuffed under Will’s blanket to look like him and creeping back to their places before dawn so that no one found out. 

It was unnecessary tonight, but habit had him doing it anyway, just like Will had gone out the window instead of the back door even though he could have. Hannah and Thomas had driven to New Paris for their anniversary, leaving the boys home alone with Maxine in charge. She had told them not to burn the house down and gone over to Lochlan’s. She hadn’t come back yet. 

Johnny was waiting in his room in nothing but his boxers. The boot cast he had to wear for another week rested by the dresser. The boy grinned and crooked a finger at him, so he closed the door behind himself and slipped into bed, letting his pants and underwear fall to the floor as he approached. But when he kissed Johnny hard and hungry, the other boy stopped him with hands on his shoulders.

“Hold on, Jakey,” Johnny said. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his stomach clenching. Had he hurt him? “Is it your leg?”

“No, baby,” Johnny said, running his hands down Jake’s arms and linking their fingers together. “I just realized something today. We’re always going fast because even in the treehouse, we’re at least a little bit afraid of getting caught again like at your mother’s. But tonight, Mom and Dad are gone and Will and Maxine won’t be back from the McAlister’s till morning. We have the house all to ourselves.”

Jake grinned and stroked their joined hands up Johnny’s bare chest. “So what you’re saying is you want to take it slow.”

“And go gentle,” Johnny said with a hint of uncertainty. “We’ve never really been gentle, which means you’ve never done it that way. You’ve only ever gotten fucked. I...don’t want to fuck you tonight.”

Jake’s brow furrowed. “So...you just want to touch and stuff or…?”

“No! No, I wanna be in you. I just don’t want to _ fuck _, you know?” Johnny’s ears turned bright pink but he stubbornly clenched his jaw. “I want to...I dunno, ‘make love’ or whatever.” He rubbed the back of his neck and grumbled, “Sounds stupid when I say it like that.”

“It doesn’t,” Jake said, leaning in and kissing him softly. “It sounds sweet.” Heat flushed the back of his neck and he whispered, “Make love to me, Johnny.”

The other boy groaned quietly and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him to him like he was made of spun glass and kissing him like he would melt away if he rushed. His body was solid and sturdy against Jake’s, warm and familiar; but as Jake’s fingers traced over his shoulders, he realized that he didn’t really know what Johnny liked. 

He knew he liked him on his knees, and he knew that he liked that Jake could stretch as easily as he could. He knew that he liked to bite in the heat of the moment and that he enjoyed hearing him when they didn’t have to be careful. But he didn’t know how to touch him to get a reaction out of him, whether he liked having his ass grabbed or being touched at all. 

He would just have to find out. He trailed a series of soft kisses along Johnny’s strong jaw, nibbling gently at the bone, and making the other boy tip his head back on a sigh. Johnny’s breath caught when Jake flicked his tongue behind his ear and came out on a rough exhale when he grazed his teeth along the shell of it. He positively trembled when Jake’s tongue followed his collarbone, and the moan he let out when Jake’s teeth grazed over his nipple was downright filthy. His back arched, his fingers tightening in Jake’s hair, and he had to visibly fight to regain control of himself. So Jake did it again to the other one. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Jakey,” Johnny groaned. “Aren’t I supposed to be doing it to you?”

“_ With _me, I think,” he murmured, licking a trail down Johnny’s chest to his belly button. “But you’re still hurt, so let me take care of you tonight.” 

He smoothed his hands over the boy’s hips and down, stroking behind his knees and gaining a sharp moan in reward. Johnny writhed on the sheets, creating a puddle of them in the center of the bed, and Jake nibbled up his thigh from his upraised knee to his groin. Johnny’s legs fell open and he ran his fingers through Jake’s hair, his other hand sliding over Jake’s shoulder. 

“I’ll go too fast if you go down on me,” Johnny grunted when he felt Jake’s breath on his straining length. 

“Who said anything about going down on you?” Jake asked with an impish grin before delicately licking the dewy drop of moisture beaded on his tip. 

“Ohhh, you fucking tease,” Johnny whined, his hips raising off the bed.

“Mmhm.”

Jake kissed and nibbled, suckling at the barest of pinpoints, giving sensation but not enough to finish him. He flicked his tongue over the damp slit again, making Johnny rise up off the mattress and curl in on himself. Johnny’s foot scrambled at the bed and Jake pushed his thighs further apart, licking a hot trail down to his balls. 

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Johnny muttered as he took one between his lips. The other boy fell back, his hips rocking to grind against his mouth. “Fuck, Jake.”

“I like making you feel good,” Jake said, thumbs circling behind his knees.

“You’re driving me insane,” Johnny said, twisting his hips and thrusting at the air.

“You sure you’re not already—oof!” The room blurred as Johnny grabbed him and yanked him up on top of him.

“Tease,” Johnny charged again, pulling him down to drop a kiss onto his lips. 

“A little,” Jake said, grinning down at him and drawing a fingertip along his jaw. “Fuck, you’re flawless. I get so lost in your eyes that I miss how perfect the rest of your face is.” 

It was a perfection made up of narrow saves. That perfectly chiseled jaw saved the rest of his face from being blocky and too long. A thin scar on his lip from a bat to the face when they were playing t-ball as kids saved his full mouth from being too feminine. If the tip of his nose curved any more, it would be hooked, giving him a villainous cast. He wasn’t finished growing yet, though. Either something would upset the balance and be even more noticeable for the surrounding perfection or he was going to be painfully beautiful.

“Sweet-talker,” Johnny said, his ears pinking again. “You say that like you’re not. You’ve got that...I dunno, my parents call it ‘all-American’ boy thing going on. Boy next door or whatever. Except that you turn your head a certain way and bite your lip at me and suddenly you’re sultry as fuck. And then you get out in the barn and start sweating and you wipe your forehead with the back of your arm, and I can see you all rugged and manly twenty years from now, slinging a bale of hay for our goats and shit.”

“‘Our goats’?” Jake asked with a smile, flushing in pleasure at the compliments and the phrasing. “You’re thinking about looking at me in twenty years? And we have goats?”

Johnny’s forehead came to rest against his and a hand cupped his cheek. “Of course. I want to marry you, Jake. Not right away, sure, but I’m not letting you go unless you want to. I wanna see you in twenty years. And thirty. And more. I want us to have what my parents do. Shit, you want to adopt kids and have a family of our own like this, I’ll do that. I love you, Jacob Shepard, and I want you to have _ my _ last name, not just my family’s.”

Jake’s eyes misted and his smile widened as his heart leapt in his chest. He bit his lip, beaming up at Johnny. “Are you proposing to me, Johnny Shepard?”

“Maybe I am,” Johnny said with a shrug, his ears flaming and eyes locked on Jake’s. “What would you say if I did?”

“Yes,” Jake said without hesitation. “I want twenty and thirty and more years and goats and family and your name and all that shit. Ask me, Johnny.”

“Will you marry me, Jakey?” Johnny asked, his smile crinkling his eyes and dark energy zinging just under the surface.

“Yes,” Jake repeated. “Name the time and place, and I’m there. I’m yours. I love you, _ solnishka _. Always and forever.” 

“I love you, too, Jakey,” Johnny said, sliding a hand up his thigh. “Let me show you how much.”

He was right, Jake soon realized. They’d never been gentle together, had never gone slow and just enjoyed each other. Though they knew that they were alone, he locked the door—something Johnny’s parents would never allow—and for the first time, Jake was able to truly let go. 

He sank down onto Johnny with smooth, unhurried thrusts, those clear eyes never leaving his. This was different in a way he couldn’t fully put words to, intimate, emotional. Sighs and soft moans took the place of dirty talk and groans. Johnny’s hands on his hips controlled the pace, keeping it slow and almost lazy until Jake was trembling and their biotics flowed around them in a soft corona that felt like their nervous systems had joined together. He swore he could feel himself wrapped hot and tight around Johnny, and when his head fell back and he forgot how to breathe, Johnny moaned for him. 

For once, their release didn’t slam into them without warning. Gradually, their hips began to move faster, Johnny driving deeper. Their touches grew needy, desperation flavoring their kisses. Johnny circled his thumb around Jake’s leaking tip and it crashed over him in a wave of heat that brought him off the bed. 

When it was over, they lay together with Jake’s head on Johnny’s chest and their fingers sliding together and over each other’s knuckles. Johnny’s lips pressed to Jake’s head, a contented sigh stirring his hair. His fingers found Jake’s ring finger and one looped around the base of it. He looked up to find Johnny gazing at their hands.

“I don’t have a ring or anything for you,” Johnny said. 

“I don’t need one,” he sighed, rubbing his cheek against the other boy’s chest. “Don’t wear jewelry anyway. We can always do rings later.”

“Yeah, but it seems like we should have _ something _ to mark it,” he said. “Something permanent.”

“I could get the Star Trek symbol tattooed over my heart,” Jake chuckled, reaching up and tapping a finger against the necklace Johnny never took off.

“You hate Star Trek.”

“Yeah, but it makes me think of you, and I love you. And you like it, even if it makes you a total dweeb,” he teased.

“You’re a dweeb.” Johnny playfully shoved him off his chest, crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue at him. Jake laughed and pounced him, tickling his ribs. Johnny yelped and tried to scramble away, but he was giggling too hard to move. “Help me, Obi-Wan! You’re my only hope!”

Jake shrieked a laugh and raspberried Johnny’s belly before collapsing beside him, still laughing. “I know. Something dorky enough you’ll have to love it.”

“What’s that, nerd?” Johnny asked, wrapping his arms around Jake’s waist and plopping his chin on his sternum, his eyes sparkling.

“We could carve our initials into the tree,” Jake said. 

“Okay,” Johnny said, kissing his belly and rolling off of him with a grin. “Let’s do it.”

“Now? It’s dark out,” Jake protested, sitting up. 

“Now,” Johnny said firmly, snagging a pair of shorts from the floor and tugging them on. “It doesn’t...feel real without something to mark it or whatever.”

“Alright.” 

Jake climbed out of bed and accepted a pair of Johnny’s sweatpants, tugging them on and watching as the other boy fit his injured leg into the boot and strapped it up with practiced motions. Johnny grabbed his pocketknife from the dresser. Hand-in-hand, they went downstairs and out the back door to the tree, moving carefully to keep from jarring Johnny’s leg. 

Jake activated the light on his omni-tool and shone it at the smooth trunk. Johnny knelt down and flipped the knife open, tucking his tongue between his teeth the way he did when he was focused on something important, and carefully carved a J deep into the trunk. He passed Jake the knife and used his own omni-tool to light it up for him. Jake crouched down and pressed the tip of the knife into the wood, placing his J so that it crossed over Johnny’s, linking them together. Johnny retrieved the knife and started carving again.

“You nerd. Is that supposed to be an arrow heart?” Jake asked with a laugh.

“Yep,” Johnny said seriously. “So everybody who sees it knows I love you.”

He sounded so casually sincere that Jake’s laugh faded on his lips, replaced by a lump in his throat. Johnny stood and turned to face him and Jake cupped his cheeks in his hands, drawing him down to press their lips and then their foreheads together. 

“I love you, too,” he whispered. “Forever and ever, amen.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Natsora

_ If it wasn't known, that our love will carry on, I will be the wind that echo's on the canyon wall. _

_ One more day with you, to walk around our neighbourhood.  We will never know like it was understood.  _

_ We never say goodbye. Just let me hold the light. _

_ We never say goodbye. I'll see you on this side or the other way the desert sun kisses the sky. _

_ Baby hold the light and keep it in your eyes  and promise that you'll dream with me beyond the walls of time.  _

_In the end, we lay beside. Just look up at the light. Just let me hold the light._

_ -“Hold the Light” by Dierks Bentley _

* * *

Jake stared out the window of the bus at the passing scenery with Dustin beside him. Ronnie was in the seat in front of them and had turned around to chatter at them about Maya, his new girlfriend. Jake would’ve rolled his eyes if he wasn’t just as guilty as his friend of obsessing over someone. 

He and Johnny had stayed up late hatching plans for after graduation. Jake still didn’t know what he wanted to go to college for. He didn’t really care as long as he could go somewhere close to Johnny. 

_ Jake and Johnny. Forever and ever, amen _ . 

He could do forever with Johnny. He could easily picture the rest of their lives together. College and then finding a job. Maybe they’d be able to get a little house in town, something close to home. Christmases and birthdays and just  _ days _ together. Didn’t have to be anything special. Johnny made every day special just by being him. 

Dustin looked between Jake and Ronnie, shaking his head in disgust. “You two. Swear to Christ, you’re gonna make me sick.  _ You  _ won’t shut up and Jake here was so starry-eyed, he almost missed a run that could’ve cost us the game. What’s goin’ on with you, man? You finally lose your v-card or somethin’?”

Jake’s neck flushed and Ronnie crowed, “He did! Holy shit, guys, Alphabet finally got laid!” He held his hand up for a high five and Jake glared at him.

“Shut up,” he mumbled, the blush creeping up his face as the other kids on the team turned shoot leering looks at him. “That happened a long time ago.”

Dustin said, “So...with Picard. Is it awesome? Or is it weird? I mean, how does it work, two guys?”

“It’s really fucking amazing. And that’s all I’m gonna say,” he said, a grin breaking across his face. 

“Aw, come on, Alphabet,” Jameson said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Details!”

“Ugh. No,” Jess said. “No details. Save that shit for the locker room.”

“Spoilsport,” Jameson grumbled. He already knew, but Jake liked that he acted like he didn’t. It felt...respectful or some shit.

“Not like I’m telling you guys shit anyway,” Jake said, pushing Jameson’s hand off his shoulder with a smirk. 

“But I tell you everything!” Ronnie protested.

“Yeah. Whether we want you to or not,” Jake laughed.

“Ain’t that the damn tru—the fuck?!” Dustin exclaimed as the colony’s air raid sirens screamed into life.

The bus rocked to a halt behind a line of cars already stopped with police vehicles creating a road block ahead. Coach stood up with his hands raised as the driver slapped the comm controls. 

“Everybody stay calm. Sit down in your seats and just be quiet until we figure out what’s going on.” He looked down at the driver and said calmly, “See what you can find out while I go talk to the police and get more information.”

Ronnie shot them a worried look and flipped around to plop down in his seat beside Parker. Jake tensed next to Dustin, looking out the window and up at the rosy late-morning sky. There wasn’t a cloud in it, so it wasn’t the weather and today had been predicted to be a perfect day for the dry season. That meant probably raiders. They sometimes came in small groups and snatched a group of colonists from a settlement before vanishing again. The sirens would go off colony-wide when they were detected. The odds of them hitting Felicity were slim...right? But if that was the case, why the roadblock? They weren’t already there, were they?

The comm activated, frantic voices overlapping each other as multiple settlements reported in. “Lucerne, three pirate ships spotted in orbit… Strasburg, we got five ships coming in… Jamestown, two ships have landed, more coming in! Repeat, two ships have landed… New Paris, it’s batarians. They’re everywhere!” And then the words that made the blood freeze in his veins. “Felicity, six ships in orbit.”

_ Johnny _ . 

Jake activated his omni-tool as his teammates began to shout. Dustin stood, jostling him. Jake ignored them, tapping Johnny’s name in his contacts. 

“Calm down!” Coach shouted. “Everyone,  _ sit down _ . We’re going to figure this out.” Jake saw him hop down out of the bus from the corner of his eye, but his focus was on the omni-tool. 

Jake_Shepard: <Batarians coming. Are you safe?>

Johnny_Shepard: <@ home. Dad’s got the shotgun. Mom & Max r here but Will ran 2 Erins when sirens went off. Where r u?>

“Okay!” Coach shouted above the din as he came back onto the bus. “You know we’ve got raiders incoming and I know you’re worried, but you need to stay calm and be patient. We cannot go back into town right now. The police want us to stay right here until security forces can sort things out.”

“But my little brother’s home alone!” Jameson protested. “I gotta get home!”

“And my mom and dad are there!” Jess said in a wavering voice. “And my girlfriend. And Sarah.”

“Mine, too! And my sister!” Reigan shouted. 

Coach raised his hands again. “I know you’re worried about your families and your friends, but our job is to keep  _ you _ safe. And the best way to do that right now is to stay where we are rather than returning to town. The hope is that they won’t come this far out and we’ll be overlooked.”

Jake_Shepard: <They aren’t letting us go back, but I’ll get there as soon as I can. Promise.>

Johnny_Shepard: <B careful. Fuck I hate this. Y cant we live somewhere w no raiders? Batarians scare the fuck outta me>

Jake_Shepard: <It’ll be ok. They only ever take a few people. Just hide.>

Johnny_Shepard: <Fuck me theryre here we r goin 2 the attic>

Jake_Shepard: <Johnny? You ok?>    
Jake_Shepard: <Johnny! Answer me! Are you okay?>   
Jake_Shepard: <Johnny, baby, please answer me! Please be ok. You’re scaring me.>   
Jake_Shepard: <Johnny, please…>

“We have to go!” Jake shouted. 

“We can’t,” Ronnie said shakily, pointing a trembling hand at the window. His voice dropped to a horrified whisper. “They’re here.”

He followed the direction of Ronnie’s hand and swallowed hard at the sight of the alien shuttles touching down fifty meters from the bus. The police spread out into a widely-spaced line at the edge of the road, attempting to form a barricade between them and the vehicles. He watched in horror as the ugly four-eyed aliens poured out of it, armed with rifles and other weapons he couldn’t identify. A shaking hand wrapped around the grip of his bat, tugging it slowly out of its case. He didn’t know what good it would do against guns, but it was better than nothing, right?

Someone screamed, others cowered against their seats. The coach motioned for them to duck down as the aliens and the cops opened fire on each other. Bullets smacked into the side of the bus and sent glass flying. Jess flinched and slapped a hand to her bleeding cheek. Dustin planted a hand on his shoulder, pulling him down below the level of the bench seat. He clutched his bat against his chest, trembling. Adrenaline sang through his veins and lightning zinged under his skin. 

“Oof, man, stop. They’ll see you,” Dustin hissed.

“I can’t,” Jake whispered. 

No way in hell was he going to be able to refocus himself enough to get his biotics under control. 

“They’re coming,” Reigan whispered, fear lacing his voice. “What do we do?”

Jake peered up over the seats to see the group of aliens bearing down on the front of the bus. The police lay dead alongside the road. Some of the aliens were down, too, but there were  _ so many _ of them. They ranged down the line of vehicles, cutting down people who got out and tried to run. A burst of gunfire sent glass flying and the driver dancing in his seat like a marionette with its strings tangled. Screams cut through the air and Jake shoved Dustin. Even with them shooting outside, staying here was no longer the better option. 

“Out the back!” he shouted. “Go!”

Dustin stumbled out of the seat with Jake behind him. The others followed, pouring into the aisle in a tangle of frantic, stumbling teenagers. Heavy footsteps rang out on the stairs leading into the bus as Jameson wrenched at the backdoor. Jake looked over his shoulder to see Coach standing in the aisle, shielding them with his body. 

“They’re just kids!” he shouted in Galactic Standard. “Don’t hurt them! They’re just children!”

“Then we don’t need them,” the batarian growled, its accent so thick Jake could barely understand it. Relief flooded through him for an instant, followed by terror as the alien opened fire and Coach fell. Bullets slammed into flesh behind him. “Hurry,” he urged Jameson.

“It’s stuck!” the boy shouted over the rattle of gunfire and their teammates’ screams, his hands slipping. He banged his fists on the glass, trying to get the attention of someone outside. “Help! Help us! We can’t get out!”

“It can’t be stuck!” Dustin wailed, pushing him aside and grabbing the bar himself, muscles straining. 

People pressed against Jake, squeezing him against Dustin’s back. His heart pounded in his ears, panic racing through his muscles and demanding that he move, but there was nowhere to go. 

Ronnie shouted, “C’mon, man, we gotta-- _ unf. _ ” 

Something hot and wet sprayed against Jake’s face as Ronnie went limp. Dustin’s head  _ exploded _ , leaving a gray and red streak dripping down the window in front of them. Shards of white glistened in a glob that lost its grip on the glass and fell to the floor with a sickening  _ plop _ . What remained of Dustin fell, knocking Jake’s feet out from under him, and he went down in a pile of bodies. 

“Ronnie!” he whispered urgently. 

“Got...shot…” Ronnie gurgled, spraying more blood against Jake’s face when he coughed. “Play...dead. Maybe they’ll...go away…” 

He collapsed on top of Jake and Jake forced himself to go limp, his fingers frantically tapping out a musical piece against someone’s still leg.  _ Focus. Get ‘em under control. This isn’t working. Sand. Sand in your hand. Get it all there and maybe I can hide it. Get it under control, Jakey. Gotta get to Johnny. _ He blocked out the sounds of his dying teammates, the last deafening rattles of the rifle and the whine as it overheated, the dead bodies around him, and focused hard on the hand trapped under Dustin’s belly until the electric feeling concentrated there. 

The footsteps reverberated through the floor beneath them, coming closer or moving away, he didn’t know until the bus gave the little shimmy that meant someone had gotten off. Jake lay still, frozen in fear with his eyes screwed shut, afraid to open them. He didn’t want to see whatever would greet them. He didn’t want to see the alien who’d take his life. He didn’t want to see his teammates. 

“Ronnie?” he whispered softly during a break in the gunfire. “You still with me, man?” 

“Can’t...can’t feel...anything…” Ronnie wheezed, coughing wetly. 

“Just stay calm,” Jake said shakily. “We’ll get you out of here. Just gotta wait for them to go away.” 

Time lost all meaning as he lay there, quaking with fear, trying not to think about where he was, praying he wasn’t too late for Johnny. Maybe the aliens had gone away when they didn’t find anyone. The attic was reinforced as a hideout. They’d be okay. They had to be okay.

Outside, the gunfire continued sporadically and people screamed and shouted. Metal crunched as if someone had tried to get out of the tangle of vehicles and drive away but hadn’t made it. The back of his shirt was plastered to him with thick, quickly cooling liquid that stuck to his skin and made him itch. 

The temperature rose as the sun passed overhead. Jake sweltered in the pile, breathing shallowly through his mouth, trying to block out the thick, ripening scent of shit and piss and blood, but he could  _ taste _ it like someone had poured metal shavings onto his tongue. It soaked into the fabric at his knees and elbows, slicking the hard floor beneath him. Ronnie’s pained gurgling was the only sound inside the bus. He finally dared to look over his shoulder and found the other boy laying against his back, blood bubbling from his mouth. His hands fisted weakly in Jake’s shirt, clenching and releasing. Wheezing keens brought more bloody froth.

“Stay with me, buddy,” Jake urged. “Just a little longer and they’ll go away. I’ll get you out of here.”

“I’m...dying...man,” Ronnie said, tears glistening on his dark cheeks.

“No,” Jake said, wanting to turn, but afraid to jostle him. “You’re gonna be ok, Ron.”

“Don’t...lie t’me...Alpha...bet…” 

Sweat poured off of him, loosening the fabric from his skin. Despite the situation, his stomach growled and then twisted painfully. It got quiet, without even Ronnie’s labored breathing. Still, he was too afraid to move, convinced the batarians were still outside, just waiting for him to crawl out. Dark. He’d move at dark. He’d get Ronnie out of here and go get Johnny. The sun began to set and the heat waned. He opened his mouth to talk to Ronnie again, but he didn’t want to hear the silence he was afraid would answer.

And then Ronnie started to stiffen like the others and he felt the bodies begin to cool around him. 

His panic resurfaced, choking him. The light had shifted when his eyes popped open and he scrambled out from under Ronnie, his hands landing on stiff limbs and clammy skin, sliding through congealing globs of blackening blood. A scream rose in his throat, catching on the molten ball trapped there. 

_ They’re dead. They’re all dead. Maybe the whole world is dead. _

He scrabbled over the bodies of his teammates, trying not to look in their sightless eyes and gaping faces. He closed his eyes when he crawled over Dustin, keeping just enough presence of mind to grab his bat again and throw himself against the backdoor. Dustin had apparently loosened it because his bloody hands slipped as the latch popped downward. He tumbled through the open door, his shoulder jolting into the pavement. He rolled onto his back, staring up at a sky that seemed to mock him with its beauty. The sun was setting, shooting blues and greens and purples through the deep afternoon pink.

Johnny. He had to get to Johnny. He called up his omni-tool. Still no reply. He typed out another that may or may not have been coherent, and rolled onto his belly, looking under the bus for any sign of the batarians. They were gone. He pushed up onto his hands and knees, crawling away from the bus, his bat dragging beside him. They were dead. His team was all dead. Ronnie and Dustin and Jameson and Jess and Coach and  _ all of them _ . Thank god Johnny had gotten hurt. He’d have lost his goddamn mind if Johnny had been in that bus.

“Help! Is anyone here? I need help!” 

No one answered. Corpses littered the road, glass sparkling on the pavement. Car doors hung open with bodies slumped half-in and half-out of them. A little girl clutched a doll in her still hand, half her face looking bruised and the other half unnaturally pale. Tears burned his eyes, leaving hot tracks down his cheeks. He pushed up onto his feet, stumbling forward in the direction of town. Johnny. He had to get to Johnny. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, I cried profusely while writing this.


	15. Chapter 15

_ The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms.  But when I woke, dear, I was mistaken, so I bowed my head and I cried. _

_ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray.  You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you.  _

_ Please don’t take my sunshine away. _

-“You Are My Sunshine” by Johnny Cash 

* * *

It was dark by the time the settlement came into view, an eerie orange glow lighting the horizon even before he got into sight of it. The wind shifted. He smelled the smoke before he registered what he was seeing. Everything was burning. His whole world looked like it was on fire. He pressed forward in spite of the instincts screaming at him to run, to go back to the bus and hide. His fear for Johnny was bigger. Maybe he couldn’t reply back. He was probably hiding and the omni-tool could give him away. Maybe he was just unconscious. He couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t lose Johnny. He wouldn’t survive it. 

_ I’m coming,  _ solnishka _ . Just hold on a little longer. Please be alive. Dear god, please let him be alive. _

He crept into town, keeping to the shadows as well as he could, bat gripped tightly in his trembling hands, begging his biotics not to glow and give him away. Fortunately, it seemed like he’d already either exhausted or stressed himself past the point where they would activate. That was the only good news he had. He looked for people, another human being, someone who could help him, and found no one. The only shapes that moved were aliens and he ducked down and hid from them whenever they came close, his heart thudding so hard he thought it would explode. There had to be  _ someone _ left alive. Someone, somewhere. They were just hiding. That’s why he couldn’t find them. 

He snuck through streets that he’d have sworn that morning were as familiar to him as the back of his hand but were now a maze seemingly determined to disorient him. Familiar landmarks were gone or burning. Houses he’d once recognized roared with flame. Heat pressed against his skin from all sides and smoke burned his nostrils. Glowing embers flew around him. Ash coated his hair and skin. A trip that should have taken minutes took hours. He was forced to backtrack several times and reorient himself. Every trudging step required him to push through impossible fear. 

_ Everything _ was burning, illuminating the night with a sinister orange glow that licked and danced into the dark sky. Houses, grass, fields. The school was on fire. He rounded a corner, sticking to the shadows and looking around for any more of the four-eyed freaks raining hell on his home. Smoke coated his nostrils and burned his eyes, pungent with the sharp, sour smell of building materials. 

A new scent wafted over on the hazy breeze, a different kind of smoke mingling with that already roiling through the air. Someone was...burning popcorn? That made no sense. He tried to reconcile the smell with the sight that greeted him across the street. A roaring blaze lit the center of the ball field, sinister shadows moving sinuously around it. 

He gasped, ash coating his tongue, and pressed his back to the wall of the one intact house on this part of the street. More batarians. They walked two-by-two between the fire and a shadowy pile on the baseball diamond, carrying something between them. He watched, riveted, his heart threatening to break through his chest, as the pair closest to the fire hefted their burden and tossed it into the flames.

_ People _ . 

They were burning  _ people _ .  _ That _ was the smell. Human skin. 

The fire danced up, enhanced by the new fuel, sending another reeking wave toward him. Campfire and barbecue and burnt popcorn. His knees buckled and his stomach churned, sudden hunger warring with revulsion. Acid burned the back of his throat as he tried to expel the contents of his belly. There was nothing left. He hadn’t eaten since before the game and had spent all afternoon hiding under the dead bodies of his teammates. Shame added to the burn in his eyes, and more hot tears cut tracks down his dirty face. 

Bile spilled out onto the ground at his feet. His knees buckled, cracking against the warm ground. Panicked sobs wracked his lean body. He couldn’t do this. It was too much. He was all alone, the only human left alive in all the world. 

_ No _ , he couldn’t afford to think like that. Johnny. He had to get to Johnny. 

He pushed to his feet, swaying as he tried to ignore the thought that the rusted iron taste of ash melting on his tongue was made up of fucking people and to tell himself that it was only nausea and disgust making his stomach rumble. Anything else was too horrific. He’d lose his fucking mind. If he hadn’t already.

He stumbled forward, feet dragging against the concrete. There, the pharmacy where he and Johnny had flirted over ice cream. The windows were broken, the chairs and tables toppled, medications and other stock littered across the floor. An interminable block later, the shop where he and Johnny and Hannah worked was engulfed in flames. Had Rinia gotten out? What would they do now? Could the family get by without it? Where would they work? 

Inane questions. Everything was gone. Nothing mattered but finding Johnny.

He saw a woman run down the street toward him and opened his mouth to call out to her. A sharp crack rang out. She jerked and fell. Jake dropped to the ground, hand over his mouth to cover his scream. Footsteps scraped across the pavement, coming toward him. They paused and something hard poked his shoulder. It took everything he had not to tense, to remain loose and unbreathing, letting himself move with what he suspected was a rifle. The batarian snorted, the sound reminding him of pigs snuffling in a trough, and walked away. Jake waited for what felt like hours, searching for any sign of life, but the street was deserted. 

Time blurred and dilated, horror piling upon horror until he was numb. Bodies lay where they fell, limbs splayed at odd angles, dried blood soaking their clothing. Dew stuck to his skin, turning the ash into a layer of wet sludge. Flames heated it. The whole world was on fire. He stumbled along, his bat forgotten somewhere behind him, fingers absently tapping out a rhythm against his torn and filthy pants. He was all alone in the world. The only human left alive. Everyone was either dead or taken. It was just him and the corpses and the godforsaken aliens. He’d died on the bus. This was hell and he was trapped in it, doomed to walk forever alone in this nightmare. 

His feet faltered in front of his old house and he hesitated. His mother was probably in there. She’d been horrible to him, a terrible excuse for a mom, her deficiencies only illuminated by Hannah’s loving care. He hated her. But she was still his  _ mother _ . He couldn’t just walk past. None of that mattered in light of the hellscape they were in now. He tripped on broken concrete and memories, pushing open the door as if a monster as bad as the batarians was waiting to snag his wrist and drag him deeper into the inferno. Silence greeted him. 

He crept in, walking on tiptoe, and whispered, “Mat?” 

Nothing.

He didn’t dare turn on a light, so he used the flashlight on his omni-tool to illuminate the room, covering the beam with his hand so that it couldn’t shine through the windows. He spanned the kitchen, stopping at the table where a shadowy lump formed in her chair. A bottle teetered on its side on the edge of the table, dark gel surrounding the figure slumped face-down beside it. Maybe she’d just passed out. He shone the light directly on her, noting the small amount of blood matting the hair around a tiny hole. It didn’t look that bad. He reached out and grasped a handful of her coarse hair, lifting her head, wanting to see her one last time.

And promptly dropped it, reeling backward, a scream tearing from his throat. Her face below her eyes was  _ gone _ . Her fucking  _ face _ was gone! And the  _ smell _ . How had he not noticed the smell as soon as he walked in? Slaughterhouse and shit and piss. Like the bus. He turned and retched in the sink, saliva and bile spattering the metal as his stomach heaved and contorted on itself. He stood there, shaking, his hands white beneath the blood caked and cracking on them, willing his legs not to give out. 

After an eternity, he straightened, pointedly ignoring the corpse behind him. Breathing through his mouth, he washed his hands and then rummaged in the cupboards until he found a loaf of bread. The cooler yielded a soda. He carried them back into his old room—empty now—and sat down on the bare floor. The bread bag seemed unnaturally loud in the tomb. He stared disinterestedly at the slice he plucked out, willing his stomach not to turn again. 

He’d had nothing since breakfast...however long ago it had been. A day? He had to eat or he was going to pass out. He would have been surprised he hadn’t already if his mind had been functioning beyond basic survival drives. He bit off a chunk of bread, marveling at the weirdness of thinking to wash his hands in the middle of all this, and chewed until it was a sticky lump caught in the back of his mouth. The soda washed it down and he alternated between bites and sips until he thought he was going to throw up again. 

He finished the last of the soda and left both bag and can on the floor. No one left to care. Was this to be the rest of his life? Going into dead people’s houses, scrounging for food and water? Trying to ignore the stench so that he could choke down just enough to keep him alive? And for what? Nothing. 

Nothing except...Johnny. That’s what he’d been doing. He had to get to Johnny. Johnny was waiting for him. 

_ “I’d walk through hell for you, babe.” _

_ “Jakey-baby, you’ll never have to. I’ll always be with you.” _

Johnny was wrong about that, but Jake had promised he’d get to him. He always kept his promises to his sunshine.

Dawn was creeping over the horizon when he reached the McAlister’s farm. He stared dumbly at the animals lying slaughtered in their pens. No need to look here. If the animals were dead, then so were Lochlan, Erin, their parents, and Will unless he’d managed to get away. Katya was probably dead, too. Who was going to tell Maxine that her best friend was dead? And why? Why would they kill farm animals and just leave them there? They didn’t kill them for their meat. Killing Katya and the other animals like that was as senseless as killing helpless babies. Sport. Insult piled on mortal injury. Spite and nothing more. All of this was. 

Fury flashed through him, clarifying his mind and making his knees tremble. He screamed out his rage and pain and frustration, falling to his knees and burying his hands in his hair, tearing at it as if that could stop his mind from fracturing into jagged pieces. As if the physical pain could stop the sucking hole in his chest from forming. He forgot the need for quiet or staying hidden. What was the point? The whole world was dead and he wanted to be dead, too.

_ No! _ Johnny. Johnny might still be alive. Maybe he’d hidden. Maybe he was hurt and scared and waiting for Jake. He had to get to him. Nothing else mattered. The whole world could burn as long as Johnny was still here. He was so close. He couldn’t stop now. He’d almost made it. He could see the house. It was still standing. He could see the treehouse in the backyard, its trunk bearing their initials. Johnny was in there. Johnny and Hannah and Thomas and Maxine. His family was there. He dragged himself back to his feet, toes dragging against the concrete, and locked his eyes on the house. Almost there. Almost there. 

_ I’m coming, Johnny. I told you I’d come for you. I walked through hell and now I’m here. _

He didn’t hear the crack of the rifle. Something shoved him and he scowled. And again, harder this time, making him stumble, and a third time, this one pitching him forward onto the ground. He stared at the hand in front of him and tried to move its fingers. They didn’t work. Something hot and wet was coating his back, loosening the dried fabric. He glanced over his shoulder, searching for whatever had hit him. His shoulder was coated in a fresh bloom of bright red blood. 

_ Shot. I’ve been shot _ . 

The realization brought white heat searing through his mind and body. He tried to push up to his feet, but his legs had turned to lead and the slight movement sent pain lancing through him. He tried to drag himself, fingers scraping over concrete, his skin tearing, but it was torture, fucking torture, and he made it little more than a foot before collapsing again. 

“Help! Someone help me!” he shouted, his voice hoarse from screaming. 

Silence was his answer. An unnatural, otherworldly silence. Like he was the last thing left alive on the planet. A breeze stirred through the grass, carrying the scent of death that was now becoming familiar. There was no one left alive to help him.

He had to stop the bleeding or he was going to die, too. Pressure. He needed pressure. Buttons popped and fell as he maneuvered out of his filthy shirt, succeeding only in getting his good arm out. He bunched the fabric as well as he could against the bleeding holes and rolled over onto his injured shoulder, letting his weight apply pressure to the wound, pain screaming through him as he did so. 

No. That was him screaming again. He clapped a hand over his mouth to block the sound. Tears rushed down his face to pool in his ears and trickle down the back of his neck. So close. He was so fucking close. And he couldn’t get there. He’d failed. He’d failed Johnny. The house was  _ right there _ . He had to get there. He had to. He’d  _ promised _ . A minute. He’d just lay here a minute till it didn’t hurt so bad and then he’d go. 

Images flashed unbidden through his mind. Coach Talley, standing between them and the batarians. Blood and bone and brains that used to be Dustin’s face smearing the glass at the back of the bus. Ronnie’s death rattle. A dog, tearing down the street, yelping at the flames licking over its body. Corpses, so many corpses, some burnt, some shot, all twisted in death. The roof of the grocery store caving in, glutting flame and roiling black smoke. The macabre bonfire on the ball field. Mat without a face. 

He tried to roll over again, to get to Johnny, but he was so fucking  _ tired _ . And cold despite the sun blazing overhead. He tried to throw his good arm over his face to block it out, but even that wouldn’t do more than tremble. He couldn’t move his legs, either, though the pins and needles stabbing his limbs told him they were still there. Pain radiated through him, seeping into his bones, becoming a part of him the way the images and the smells and the tastes had become a part of him. Rest. He just needed to rest. Just a few more minutes. The world blurred around him, darkness creeping into the edges of his vision. 

Dying. He was dying. Alone. It was okay, though. Johnny was probably already dead. He’d been lying to himself. Johnny was dead or he’d have answered him by now, as frantic about Jake as Jake was about him. Johnny was dead. His sunshine was gone. Nothing mattered now. He didn’t need to save him. Couldn’t save him. But he could die with him. He’d promised he’d come. It’d be the last damn thing he ever did, but by god, he’d fucking do it.

His head swum, the world spinning around him as he flopped over onto his belly again. The concrete bit into his bare skin, one more pain he could barely separate from the rest. A glance down showed bright pink where his skin was exposed and he almost laughed. Sunburn. On top of everything else. Fucking sunburn. 

His limbs were dead weight, the utter numbness threatening to make him panic again, the skin pale where it wasn’t burned. His lips were cracked, his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, his throat burning with dryness. Dizziness and nausea kept the ground and sky toppling over each other, trading places in a frenzied dance. He heaved again, unable to do more than simply turn his head, losing nothing more than spittle that streamed down over his chin. The...what had he eaten? He’d eaten something, hadn’t he? In the dark… He couldn’t remember. Whatever it was, it was gone, no match for the caloric requirements of his body or his dehydrated, hypoglycemic body. Consciousness rolled in and out like waves on the shore. What was he doing?

Oh. Right. He had to get to Johnny so they could be dead together. Forever. Not the way he’d planned it, but the promise still kept. No point to living now. Everyone he knew was dead. Johnny and Will and Hannah and Thomas and Coach Talley and Mrs. Burns and the pharmacist and Rinia and all of his friends and the doctor who’d patched him up after Mat beat him and the old lady who roamed town muttering about Armageddon and butterflies. Well, she’d been half-right. Armageddon had come. And he’d been left in hell. 

He wormed forward, beyond caring about grace or style, ignoring the scrape of concrete against burned skin. Trying to move his failing body just one more inch and then another until he collapsed again, somewhere between the neighbor’s—he couldn’t remember who they were, either—and home. What used to be home. 

When he regained consciousness again, the moon was overhead and he was freezing. Tremors wracked his body, sending fresh waves of pain through him, but he could barely feel them. He was nothing but a mind now, stuck inside a useless shell, watching as if from the outside. His vision blurred again and this time, he didn’t fight the pull of darkness, embracing it instead. 

If this was dying, he was okay with it.


	16. Chapter 16

“Holy shit, he’s alive! Medic!”

“You got one?!”

“Yeah, but he’s lost a lot of blood.”

“How the hell is he still alive?”

Jake groaned as something bit into his shoulder. Hard hands patted him gently and someone tried to hold him down when he would have moved. He cracked an eye, beyond fear or panic, and looked up at unfamiliar humans dressed in armor. Someone touched his shoulder, spreading fire over his back, and he bit back a scream.

“Easy, kid. We’ve got you.”

“Johnny,” he croaked. “Johnny.”

“Okay. Easy, Johnny. It’s going to be okay.”

“Not. Me.  _ Johnny _ .” He lifted a trembling hand and pointed toward the house. 

“Is Johnny your brother?” one of them asked.

“He’s going to need blood, fluids, and treatment for exposure, but it looks like he’ll get away with nothing but a few scars,” another said. “He’s lucky.”

_ Lucky _ , he snorted. Bullshit. He was only lucky if Johnny lived.

They helped him to his feet, their gauntleted fingers digging into his flesh. He pulled loose and stumbled forward, his right arm dangling uselessly. A woman caught him and tried to turn him away from the house, but he jerked away from her, too.

“ _ Johnny _ ,” he grunted.

One of the soldiers stepped into his line of sight, holding up a hand. “Kid, you don’t want to go in there. Trust me. If your Johnny is in there, you don’t want to see him. Remember how he was. We need to get you out of here.”

“I  _ have _ to,” he said, taking another pained step and swaying with the spinning ground. The man, young enough to still be called a boy, tried to stop him again. He looked him in the eye. “I made it from outside town to here before I got shot. I saw my best friend’s head explode. I felt my oldest friend die on top of me. I saw a bonfire made of people. There is nothing in that house that will stop me from finding Johnny. I  _ have _ to know.”

“Let him go,” a deeper, authoritative voice said behind him. 

“But, sir—”

“If we don’t let him look, he will never leave this place,” the man said.

“He’s a  _ kid _ . We can carry him if we have to, sir.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” the man said. “He’ll spend the rest of his life coming back to this place in his mind. Without some sort of closure, he’ll never get away from it. Let him go.”

Jake shut out their noise, dragging himself towards the house that had become home. His mom. His dad. His brother and sister. His fiancé. Everything that mattered to him was in that house. He almost fell on the steps to the porch but caught himself and stumbled inside.

It smelled like Mat’s. That shit-stained slaughterhouse smell that he thought he’d never get out of his head. A bloody streak covered the kitchen floor, leading out to the back door. A glistening, half-dried pool of blood soaked the carpet in the living room where he would sit to play video games with Johnny. No one could have survived losing that much blood. He didn’t know humans held that much blood. Whose? 

He stumbled on the stairs and dragged himself up with one hand, the other still deadweight hanging off of his shoulder. He didn’t think his uniform could hold any more blood, but it squished under his knees. A lump appeared in front of his and Johnny’s bedroom doors. He crawled over to it with his heart in his throat. 

The boy’s hair was matted with blood, a gaping hole in his chest, his face so bloated and bruised that he had to check for Johnny’s necklace to be absolutely sure it wasn’t him. Johnny’s baseball bat was in his hand, but the necklace Johnny hadn’t taken off since Jake gave it to him on their birthday was missing and when Jake shakily lifted the boy’s eyelid, he was met with a milky cerulean blue rather than gray. 

Will. He’d come back.

That meant the blood in the living room was Thomas’. He’d have been guarding the stairs and Will would have covered the bedrooms. Johnny, Maxine, and Hannah were somewhere in one of those rooms. Or in the attic. If they’d had time to get there. How long had it taken Thomas and Will to die?

He reached up and pushed Will’s door open, finding it empty and undisturbed. He had to crawl over Will to get to Johnny’s door. 

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered. “I’m sorry, Will.”

The door opened and an image of Mat overlaid onto Hannah in front of him. Her head was misshapen but he didn’t dare lift her head to look and he didn’t want to think about what was in her hair. Two fingers confirmed that she was cold and still, no pulse thrumming through her veins. Maxine lay over her, like she’d tried to shelter her. Maxine, the oldest, who always had to prove herself as tougher than the boys. Maxine with the filthy mouth and warm heart. Maxine, who’d bragged about having three brothers, not two.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered, clenching his jaw to keep the tears from falling. If he started crying now, he would never stop. 

No Johnny.

He scrambled into the room and checked under the bed and in the closet. No Johnny. Back to his and Will’s room, fighting the hope that tried to surface. No Johnny. His voice came out in a croak when he tried to shout, but he called for him anyway. No Johnny in Maxine’s room or Hannah and Thomas’. No Johnny in the attic. Then he remembered the trail down the stairs and through the kitchen. He lurched down the stairs and threw doors and closets open in his desperation to find Johnny. He wasn’t in the house.

The treehouse!

He ran clumsily out the back and to the treehouse, fighting his way up the thick branches and telling himself that the twin Js carved into the bark were a sign, pointing him to the boy he loved. 

“Johnny!” he rasped. “Johnny!”

It took twice as long as it should have, but he clambered into the treehouse and stood swaying. The sleeping bag where they would come together lay untouched. The bottles of water sat unopened. The snacks they’d stored were still closed. It had been days. If Johnny had been here, there would be signs.

He slithered down the tree and found one of the soldiers waiting. The man motioned for him to come over and pointed at a trail of flattened grass.

“It goes around the front and ends,” the man said. He recognized the one who’d said to let him look. “We think he’s been taken. Son…” the man’s hand came to rest on his good shoulder. “If the batarians have taken him, there’s nothing we can do. He’s as good as dead. You’re going to have to find a way to let go. He’s gone. Johnny is gone.”

Jake’s knees gave out and the man caught him. “I know, son. I know.” He looped an arm around Jake’s waist and turned him back towards the house. “You live here?” When Jake nodded, he said, “Go back in, then, and get whatever you don’t want to lose.”

Jake stumbled into the house on leaden feet and trudged up to Will’s room again with the man behind him. “Did you go next door?” he asked hoarsely.

“Yes.”

“How many...how many kids were there?” He stared blankly at the bunk bed he’d shared with Will for almost a year.

“Two. A boy and a girl in the barn.”

“Erin and Loch. Does it make it better? Dying in your favorite place? Or is it just awful no matter what?” Jake asked.

The man hesitated for a long moment and then said, “I think when you know you’re going to die, the location doesn’t matter much. Having someone you love in your arms might make it easier, though.”

Jake nodded, chewing on the inside of his lip, and looked around the room again. He didn’t know where to start. He didn’t want to leave. He knew he couldn’t stay. There was nothing left for him here. There was nothing for him anywhere else, either.

“I should have just died on the bus,” he whispered. “What do you do when everything you care about is gone? Everyone I know is dead. Everyone in the whole world is dead. Everyone but me.”

“You survive,” the man said simply. “And you find a purpose. You do your damnedest to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else ever again. Or you avenge them. Or you find Johnny.”

“You said he was as good as dead,” Jake said numbly. “You said there was nothing we could do. I’m only sixteen. How am I supposed to find him if you can’t?”

“I’ve been wrong before,” he said. “Start on Illium or Omega. They don’t always take their slaves to batarian space.”

Jake filed the information away and found the bag he’d carried his things in when he’d come here. For the second time in his life, he began packing everything he owned into a duffel. This time, though, he left his spare glove and bats behind. He’d never play ball again. He took the holo piano and went into Johnny’s room. There was blood everywhere, but he found Johnny’s baseball cap clean and reverently tucked it into his bag. 

“Bye, Mutti. Bye, Max,” he whispered to their still forms. 

Grief threatened to choke him and he rushed out of the room, almost tripping over Will in the process. The soldier helped him down the stairs and he stopped at the upright piano to grab the model Tardis he’d given Johnny for his birthday and put it in the bag with his hat. 

He followed the soldier out of his home, looking up at the pink sky for what he was afraid was the last time. He walked over to the garden and scooped up a big handful of rich dirt, holding it close to his chest. A tear fell from his cheek and plopped onto it, tamping down a perfect circle. He swallowed the next one down. If he cried now, he’d shatter into a billion pieces. Instead, he followed the soldiers, leaving his home, his family, his planet, and his childhood behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me through the whump! This isn't the end of Jake's story. Part 2 will be coming next week.


End file.
